how many of you as a child grew up in a very dysfunctional family and it has effected you till this day and ##

Question

how has is it taken its toll on you and your own family or how did it make you be the opisite of what your family was compared to your own family... I no I do not live in the past but memories at times haunt you.... I believe you do the best with the cards that were dealt you and you learn and move on...

Answer 1

This is a great question for me. I had a very hard childhood and have seen and been through things that most people will never see and should never. Every type of sbuse, witness the murder of my family, drug abuse, neglect and the list continues. I could write a book. And I tell you, it affects you until the day you die. I'd like to say that the past doesnt affect who you now are but t would be a bold face lie. Your past and experiences in life directly affect who you become. Everything I am now reflects what I have been through. I am scared of almost everything, have no trust for anyone(even my husband), expect the worst in every situation, hate the world most of time, am very angry and have dependancy issues of my own. I can say though, that with all the drug abuse and alchoholism I have witnessed as far as that goes I turned out well. It made me the opposite. I have seen the damage hard core drugs can do and stay away. I'm not a saint though, I do smoke cigarettes and pot, but if thats all, I should be proud of myself. Just try to overcome and make the most of life. When things have been soo bad it makes the good things that much more appreciated. If you ever need someone to talk to who understands please feel free to e-mail me. I wish you lots of luck in life

Answer 2

Actually I was brought up in a wonderful family. What was traumatizing to me was when my parents were divorced when I was 22 and it all fell apart. I no longer had the support of my dad's family and my mothers family lives 6 hours away. So I think that was devestating and made me question how idyllic my family really was when I was growing up. The good thing is I am raising my own family the way I was raised so I am lucky that I at least had that foundation when I was young even though it all crumbled when I became an adult. I try not to let it affect me or my kids even though it hurts that I no longer have my father in my life. My mom is my best friend and role model so that has helped a lot - I want my children to grow up thinking as highly of me as I do of my mom.

Answer 3

All families, no matter what they say, are dysfunctional to some degree. Mine is most definitely up there.
Yes it has an effect on who a person is: trust issues, perception of the world in general and how you want to conduct yourself and live your own life. It effects your self-worth and esteem. I mean, your family and upbringing mold and shape who you are as a person.

The most important thing is that you can recognize it and not let it hold you down. It's what you do with it that truly counts. I have been surrounded by addicts of one kind or another for my entire life. I compare myself to the house that the tornado miraculously missed. I am thankful every day. Believe me I went through a resentment-filled stage and laid a lot of blame for my issues and behavior on my parents and others. But I came to realize and understand where these people, those I love, are coming from. It's a matter of understanding, accepting, and taking responsibility for who you are NOW.

Answer 4

I grew up in a dysfunctional family. My parents both drank alot, fought constantly, and cheated on each other. I even caught my dad coming out of a car with another woman. Naked. So, yeah, you could say it has affected me. Some good, some bad. For instance, I don't drink because I saw the havoc alcoholism can wreak on a family. (Thankfully, my parents have stopped drinking now) I do have trust issues after seeing my parents cheat on each other, but I have mostly gotten over that. I have resolved to be a better parent and not fight and make my family miserable that way, and I have stuck to that. My own family now is the complete opposite of how I grew up.

Answer 5

I grew up in a very disfunctual family but the thing i most learned from it was that I would never raise my child in the same way.I have ferociously made sure of that.I have 5 brothers and sisters and i'm only close to 1 of them because she believes the same things i do.I thank god for her all the time because I want to be close to the other ones but it.s difficult because of the horrible things they are capable of doing.My parents were no help because they were always full of themselves to be able to steer their children the right way.Believe me when i say that i understand your predictament.I seen too much bad things growing up that no child should see and yes it haunts periodically but i chose to let it all go and keep raising my child the morals and values that i learned on my own and pray that i have done my best to teach her the value of FAMILY...Good luck girl..and i hope it all works out for you...Dar

Answer 6

I did, I have been on my own since I was 16, my dad was a drunk and my mom went kind of crazy. I had a lot of issues when I was a teen, but now I am married to an awesome man and have my own daughter and couldn't be happier. I totally agree with doing the best you can with what you were dealt.

Answer 7

My teen years were spent in an alcoholic and abusive home and I remember thinking that when I have my own family they would never experience this. I have kept to my word and my kids are 19 and 17 and we are very close. I feel that it took a conscious decision not to drink and to be a loving and understanding mother. I believe that we need to break these destructive cycles. Sometimes the past does creep up on us but we need to put it in perspective and keep the past 'the past'.

Answer 8

You sound like a very bright woman. Just keep that attitude. Ever family has its problems. If you find you can't forgive past hurts and that you are constantly preoccupied with thoughts of the past, then maybe you should talk to a counselor. Do you have a pastor?

Answer 9

my home was disfunctional! Sometimes my parents still are, although they are divorced! Some stuff in the past still come out, But I have learned that its best to put it behind you and move on. Its better to forget it . I feel it made me a better person knowing what its like to be difunctional! Make sense? Its made me a better wife & mom. I do believe that whatever you do - your kids will suffer because of it. So, on that note, I just try not to repeat history!

Answer 10

Well i did grew up in a dysfunctional family and as i was teen it really messed me up but now i have learned to let go of things and try not to let it get in the way of my life because before it would get in the way of my life.