My boyfriend and I both work, so we don't get to spend as much time together as we would like to. The problem is that lately I have been getting increasingly frustrated with his schedule at work. It seems like every time we make any kind of plans he is having to break them at the last minute because of his job asking him to work. I try not to say much about it because I don't want to seem demanding or pushy. He even asked me the other night if I was frustrated by his work situation, to which I responded yes. He then told me that I was "being awfully nonchalant" about it. I responded by telling him that I knew that he had to do what he had to do and I didn't expect him to quit his job for me or anything like that. But even in telling him that deep down I was still angry. How should I handle this without starting an argument? I feel like it's hurting our relationship at a time where it should be growing. I feel so bad for being resentful and angry at him, but not sure how else to feel.
2007-03-19 02:17:43 · 11 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
Let me just add, serious answers only please. No silly and childish responses. I know he has a job to do, I didn't ask him not to work. And for the poster who said that the question is too long if the question is too long for you to comprehend then please leave it to the people who are mature enough to be able to read it and understand. To everyone else your answers are very much appreciated!
2007-03-19 02:31:00 · update #1
Well, I think if you tried to be cool about it, and it didn't work, then you need to sit down and tell him how you really feel. You can't avoid an arguement forever. A lot of times after you get all your feelings out, and he gets his out, you can come to a conclusion that works for both of you. And i know that work is important to him, but it sounds like he is getting pushed around by his work, always calling on him to finish the job. Maybe he needs to learn how to say no sometimes. Because what is he really getting out of it anyways? What is more important to him...making money or your relationship? I don't think someone's job should be their life, that is what I think about it. Just my advice. I hope this helps, and I hope you guys work things out.
2007-03-19 02:35:34 · answer #1 · answered by Stark 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I am attempting this question cos I am facing a similar situation, where my wife understands the demand of the job I am in. She is patient enough to wait for me every day, but when I get home, I do see that I devote quality time with her. Even though I donot get that much of a time to meet all her demands, or shud I say needs; but the point is to make her feel special & how importatnt she is to be with me during this course of life. With passage of time I would care to see more time for her. This is the only positive assurance I can afford to give her now.
I hope u will understand all what I am going through and that my efforts are sincere to make her feel important to me.
2007-03-19 03:11:47 · answer #2 · answered by Partho 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Try to be patient. In order to get ahead in any job, people have to put in before they can take out. Ask him if both of you could have lunch together sometimes. Ask him if he could take a day off to spend together. Surely, this early in the year he has vacation time. Don't clam up. Maybe that's why he says you are acting nonchalant. Be reasonable but make sure he makes a little time for you.
2007-03-19 02:28:40 · answer #3 · answered by bombastic 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I will tell you I understand what you are going through. My husband is in the Army and sometimes his schedule is terrible. Sometimes cant come home for lunch, sometimes he doesnt get home until 8 at night. Sometimes I get a phone call to let me know he will be late, sometimes I dont. Sure it makes me mad because I want to spend time with him. But I also know that I cant be selfish because the Army needs him during those times. And it isnt my husbands fault that the Army needs him to take care of things at work.
So I get mad, and then I let it go. More important things in the world to get mad about. So I just appreciate the time that we do have together. And I would offer that advice to you, just appreciate the time you have together and forget the rest. You dont want to spoil your time together with negativity! Good luck and take care!
2007-03-19 02:26:15 · answer #4 · answered by an88mikewife 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
same thing with my parents, ok umm my dad works 3rd shift and my mom works all day so they would only see eachother at night, my mom always complains about it and my dad gets mad but w/e maybe u should look for a different job so u could spend time together or ask ur boss if he coudl change ur shift?
2007-03-19 02:22:25 · answer #5 · answered by Squeaker 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
try to understand more bout the situation....we guys du work hard 4 somting...not 4 nothing....ask him propely bout the situation....if he will make up someting after u asked him, then he still want u n go on with your relationship...BUT if he didnt gve any positive responses, he probably would not give any time with you at the future....oviously it wont make your relationship long lasting......and i let u tink op the rest...
2007-03-19 02:31:16 · answer #6 · answered by aha... 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Maybe he needs to learn to say NO to his work once in a while.
2007-03-19 02:23:54 · answer #7 · answered by hello 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
your feeling the way you should be feeling. what is his problem for not understanding it. he would feel the same way if it were you working all the time.
2007-03-19 02:21:17 · answer #8 · answered by zsaffireblue2003 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
He sounds like he is full of it.
You can probably do better.
2007-03-19 02:22:49 · answer #9 · answered by mikey 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
get over lady he has a job to do!
2007-03-19 02:21:46 · answer #10 · answered by va757 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋