Should I marry to my bf who is 30 years older than me?

Question

I love him very much, but he is a lot older than me, Im 26, our relationship has lasted for 2 years by now, and he is the only man I had sex with, maybe thats partially why Im crazyly in love with him... he says he loves me too, and from the very beginning he always wants to marry me...but I dont want to bcos of the age difference, and also I dont know if he just want to find a caretaker in his age...Im asian he is western, we met when I studied PhD in his country...I tried to break up with him, but I couldnt make it, Im emotionally not strong enough to do it...I dont know why I love him so much... now Im stuck in this situation... what should I do? Is age really that important? and does he, like some ppl told me, just want to find a caretaker? that really depresses me...

Answer 1

First of all I was married to a man 16 years older then me and believe me if I could have done it over I would not have done it.
For you to be asking this question you have some thing that is just not right in your heart about this relationship. You have alrady made up your mind in your heart listen to it.
I tell you now you are young and once you see and know how to love your self and feel good about you. then you can truly love someone else and age will not matter.
You also have to choose someone who is good to you and what you want in life. If you want to take care of someone take cair of your self first.
The best answer to your question can be found in the bible.

Answer 2

This is totally up to you if you want to marry him or not. Age really should not matter though if you are really and love and want to get married for the right reasons. If you are having questions and second thoughts then slow things down and think about it before doing so. Do not jump into marriage if you are not ready for such a commitment and if you have so many questions. Ask him why he wants to marry you and if he just wants a caretaker or a wife? See what he has to say and answer you with it. You may need counseling if you are not strong enough to break if off if need be hon.

Answer 3

56 isn't all *that* old to need a caretaker! And if he can satisfy your needs, that must mean that he's in at least decent shape physically.

However, as you say, you're not emotionally strong enough to break off the relationship. Perhaps *that* is what he enjoys about the relationship, being so in control of things. You'll never know until you ask him, exactly what he gets out of being in a relationship with you.

Age itself isn't all that important, if both of you are entering the relationship for the same reasons and are equal partners. Be wary if the power seems imbalanced or if you have wildly different reasons for being together.

Answer 4

If you are not able to break up with him, what are you going to do if you marry him and he mistreats you? Do you think it gets easier or better just because he's got a ring on you? HECK NO! That just means he's finally got you and the *real* person he is comes out. If your gut is telling you something is wrong, then follow it. Your gut instinct.. never EVER lies. If you feel this is wrong, then it IS wrong.
You probably love him out of your own need to be fathered by him. But trust me hon, you don't want to marry your father- you want to marry your best friend, whom you trust 1000 percent, who you can having children with and grow old together. That is companionship and a loving equal relationship.
I am sure there is a guy out there who will sweep you off your feet, make you feel safe, loved, respected, and like a queen. If this guy doesn't make your heart skip beats with one look, then he is not that passionate soul mate- he's just a companion.

Don't sell yourself short. You deserve your soul mate. If you're not feeling it, then move on. It's a simple as an email and changing your phone number.

Answer 5

I think you are nuts!!!

I checked out your other questions. You are sick or something??You are married right, said so in your previous questions??

And this guy who is 30 years older than you had had like 300 women before you?? And you want to marry him??And he's the first guy you slept with?? Unbelivable! I think he is already married.

You do have a good imagination! Have you finished your PHD? That's what happened when you take PHD. It means - Permanent Head Damage. I think that's what you've got!

I don't think anyone should be answering your questions anymore.They would only be encouraging you to carry on this silly 'thing'.

I think you need to go home to wherever you came from and take a good rest.I hope your mother knows about this.

Answer 6

Doubt means don't do it.
That is a big age gap. In 20 yrs you will be 46, he will be 76. Do you really think you will be able to have a satisfying life with that age gap? What about if you had a child now, when the child is 20 the father will be in his late 70's.

If you want to end it, you should do it now. The longer you wait the harder it will be.

Answer 7

both of you should go for counselling.
If love and understanding are strong, you can as well go with him.
But age difference is too much and he must leave you voluntarily as a well wisher .
definitely age is one of the most important parameters for a marriage to be viable.
Always love with out a good phisique is meaningless in reality and why do you want to sacrifice your life for the sake of his pleading ,knowing that he is on the wrong side of age ?
For get the sentiments,try to be in tune with Asian culture and way of life.

Answer 8

Age means nothing. Love does.

Do you love him enough to be together and overcome the barriers you may encounter in age and culture?

If so, go for it.

Answer 9

in given condition go ur way
i do see a happy life
u r really asian in approach too
i would love to see you two get married pl let me informed when it happens

Answer 10

sure.get him to leave everything in the will for you first.