my fiance's sister asked us to both go away for the weekend with her, there brother and 2 friends, at the moment my fiance isn't really getting on with his siter so we used the excuse of my work and money, she then said the my fiance "i'm really angry that SOMEONE has changed your mind" "you were completly up for it until she made you not want to go"
she then arranged a meal and told my fiance not to bring me. while they were there she told him she really wants him to go so she booked it and she'll pay for hima nd dont want me to come becasue she wants them to share brother and sister time together, although his brother is taking a friend and so is she so should I be upset and angry or am I over reacting?
2007-03-19 01:49:01 · 18 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
She sounds like a right screwed up jealous cow. Your relationship with her is not important. It's you and your fiance's relationship which matters.
2007-03-19 01:53:53 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sisters can be interfering horrors who can see no bad about their brothers. She clearly thinks he doesnt have a mind of his own! She is obviously quite a dominating influence! I have a sister in law like this, watch her she will make trouble untill he puts his foot down! If you want to be spiteful have a dinner where you invite the brother and everyone but not her!
If you want to be reasonable then tell your fiance that you are rather hurt by being misjudged in such a manner, he needs to stick up for you.. I would be upset by this too, because she seems to think that there is a reason to be threatened by or jealous of their relationship. I'm sure you are not and thats why your annoyed, although it is also anger inducing that he hasnt put her in her place himself! Assert yourself as soon as poss!
2007-03-19 02:43:42 · answer #2 · answered by sazj27 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She is definately over-stepping her bounds. Since you two are now engaged, decisions should be made as a couple and invitations should always be made as a couple (exceptions being girls night out, guys night out, etc).
The problem is you used money as an excuse not to go away with her, when in actuality it is that your fiance doesn't get along with her. It sounds like they get along good enough if he ended up going out with them anyway behind your back.
Your fiance should understand that the two of you are a couple and he shouldn't do things without you. But I'm sure he also feels caught in the middle, so please make the extra effort to get along with his sister, no matter how immature she may be.
2007-03-19 01:57:50 · answer #3 · answered by Alberto 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would be angry and upset. Your fiancee needs to talk to his sister and say why he did not want to go instead of letting the blame fall on you. If this is how he is and lets his family put the fault on your head I would rethink the idea of marrying him. He needs to stand up to his sister and she needs to respect you or things will only get worse. He could have said no she did not make me change my mind I am really busy with work and cant take the time though I thank you for your thoughtfulness.
2007-03-19 01:54:03 · answer #4 · answered by bbinqueens33 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are not overeacting to the way she has played this. Fair enough she would like family time with them, but the way she has gone about it is terrible.
Perhaps you can persuade your fiance not to go on this trip, but to arrange to do something else with his brother and sister in the future? That way she still gets her family time, but she gets it on your fiance's terms, not hers. And especially not this time when she has behaved quite badly and childishly (although we only know your side of the story!)
2007-03-19 01:58:43 · answer #5 · answered by finch 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are not overreacting at all. Your boyfriend should have the guts to stand up to her and tell her that it wasn't you that changed his mind and that he's not going anywhere where you are not welcome.
She's obviously lying about spending brother and sister time because she asked you both in the first place. She sounds horrible. I feel sorry for you to have a future sister-in-law who's that terrible.
But seriously, your boyfriend needs to stand up for you.
2007-03-19 02:57:37 · answer #6 · answered by lollysarah 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Make a Stand! I would remove yourself entirely, tell your fiance if he goes then you will be extremely hurt and you dont understand why she is excluding you. He should be standing up to her about that anyways though, like really he should grow a sack and tell his sister to not act like that to the woman he "loves" that being you! and then he should clear up the misunderstandings.
2007-03-19 02:07:18 · answer #7 · answered by chemreaction 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are not over reacting. Your fiance shouldn't go. He should be sticking up for you. The air needs to be cleared otherwise things could get ugly.
2007-03-19 02:03:05 · answer #8 · answered by Dom 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should be angry, and not only at her, but at him. His first mistake was agreeing to go eat with her when she said that she didn't want you to go. He should have told her that if you weren't welcome there, then he would not attend. He should have told her the reason he said he didn't want to go and not let her believe you are the bad guy. He should not go on this vacation if you are not welcome to go. If he is showing you this kind of disrespect now, how much do you think he will show you once you are actually married?
2007-03-19 02:14:42 · answer #9 · answered by Ammikins 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
1: she's being a *****
2: it all sound sad and disappointing
3: but! maybe she's misses doing sibling stuff with her bro because he's busy giving you all the lovey attention and she wont see his mate as a competition when she wants her bros attention.
i thiiiiink, maybe let him go with his buddy, you have some you time, or invite some friends for a night out, just have a great time!
2007-03-19 02:10:51 · answer #10 · answered by april9rockstar 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋