My hetro-sexual daughter has posted a question on Yahoo questions which went like this: My gay brother and I had words many years ago and then drifted apart, We were 15 abd 17, I have now grown up and married with 2 beautiful children and want him to be a part of my childrens life as he such a great uncle to my other sisters children. Our argument was not about his sexuallity it was about his attitude, he wants nothing to do with me, what can I do. The answers were good, range'n from take pizza around and share to communicate your feelings. She has done all the right things I know as a mother I could start yelling and forcing the reunion, and he would probably make the effort but I dont want to do that as I would like it to happen between the both of them without me. Any suggestions, and please just genuine answers.
2007-03-19 00:45:54 · 8 answers · asked by Leah 4 in Society & Culture ➔ Cultures & Groups ➔ Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender
Mike's D One no goofing happening..... my family is very functional.... except the rift between 2 siblings..... where I have 4...... then an extended family full of hetro and gay siblings.... I asked for genuine answers...... if that the best you can do laying blame then.......... Sorry blame was not the question..... it was advice on a solution which most have given......
2007-03-19 01:13:31 · update #1
As a mother, you know you need not use force to bring your children together. All you need to do is to talk to each of your children separately first. Let your son know how his sister has grown up and is more mature now. Tell him how she would like to build bridges, and how she has learnt to respect him over the years. Tell your daughter that she should make the effort of breaking the ice, and assure her brother that what happened in the past was more for the lack of exposure to so many things in life. And to both your children, you need to tell them to keep aside their egos for the sake of a better life for the infants in question. After all, family tiffs happen. And what's a family if it cannot stick together in times of trouble?
As you are the mother, you know this is not forcing them to sit together and talk. You are only trying to bring them together. To you, they are still the 15 and 17 year olds. They have not grown out of that incident. You have to help them get out of this. Your intervention will never be counted as forced. It is your prerogative to help them sort their differences out.
2007-03-19 01:42:51 · answer #1 · answered by Gaymes Last Orchestra 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think you are doing the right thing in letting the resolve it themselves. Hope they work it out, it's just a sibling thing. Do the people who are negative about gay people not realize that there are a lot worse things they could be like a bigot, racist, nasty, patronizing, religious nut etc. I always wanted a gay son so that hopefully I'd never loose him to a daughter in-law, I had two daughters instead and had to content myself with the best Friends a girl could have i.e. gay men, I am fortunate that my life involves lots of intelligent, compassionate positive role model gay males. Give it time, your children will again be close, and I think it is sweet that your daughter wants to get close to her brother again.
2007-03-20 07:12:57 · answer #2 · answered by mia 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like you have done all YOU can do. All you can do at this point, is allow time to take course. Sometimes being away from each other will bring them closer together, if that makes sense. And if they never make up, as much as I know that would hurt as a parent, there is nothing that you can do. But they do share something, they both love their mother.
2007-03-19 08:35:10 · answer #3 · answered by ☮ wickey wow wow ♀♀ 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'd hate for my mother to try and make me make nice with a sibling, but what WOULD work for me is if she told me how they're feeling. Too many people are scared of taking the first step towards a reunion because they're scared of being rejected. But maybe if he knows that his sister is desperately wanting to make things right, then he might be more open to it.
2007-03-19 08:32:20 · answer #4 · answered by Angelpaws 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
To be honest mom, you have to let them work out their differences. You can't force a reunion between siblings because then it would be fake and everyone would be there for the wrong reasons. Try talking to your son individually and see how that goes. Maybe he'll come around. Tell him how the kids have nothing to do with his problems with his sister and that he should at least try because their only kids. Goodluck
2007-03-19 07:53:59 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you don't want to push, there is really nothing you can do. You can only hope he comes through. And if he doesn't want to, he's missing out. Sorry.
2007-03-19 07:52:03 · answer #6 · answered by Matt 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Letting them work it out is the best way. But if they can't do it helping them is not so bad.
2007-03-19 07:51:07 · answer #7 · answered by ? 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like you have a goofed up family, not only within the way you have failed them as a parent but as well as the way you have raised them within morals and other ways of life. You should quit poking your nose in before you destroy them.
2007-03-19 07:53:28 · answer #8 · answered by Mike's D One 2 · 0⤊ 5⤋