Whats wrong with my grammar?

Question

I hope you will help me with this problems and I can see my mistakes on this paragraph:

“Why you didn’t tell me you are coming home and why are you here?” She asked. He whispered words on her ears and she felts happy after hearing the message. “Don’t tell the kids yet because it’s a surprise.” He said. Their two children were eating their meals. The simple routine is paused after they saw the image of their father. “Kids I’m home!” the father said.

Answer 1

Ok, you're using the wrong tense in a lot of places. For example, your characters say something in past tense (said) but the actions are in present tense (are, is). Well some of it is, some of it isn't. Be consistent, usually past tense is used.

I'll use brackets for changes ( ):

Why you didn’t tell me you are (present tense = wrong! use were) coming home and why are you here (I would separate these questions, you only put one topic per sentence)?” She (lower capital, she) asked. He whispered words on her ears (this sounds awkward, you don't need the ears, because that is where people expect you to whisper words.) and she felts happy after hearing the message. “Don’t tell the kids yet because it’s a surprise.” (Try this sentence, notice the change of order: He whispered to her "don't tell the kids yet, it's a surprise". She smiled and felt happy to hear his voice.) He said. Their two children were eating their meals. The simple routine is paused after they saw the image of their father (These two sentences can be joined for a better flow: Their two children were eating their meals, a simple routine that was (note the change of tense) paused when they caw the silhouette (more descriptive than image) of their father in the doorway. “Kids I’m home!” the father (you said it was the father, no need to repeat, just say 'he') said


Happy reading!

Answer 2

"Why you didn’t tell me you *were* coming home and why are you here?” She asked. He whispered [some words] *in* her *ear* and she *felt* happy after hearing the message / answer. “Don’t tell the kids yet because it’s a surprise.” He said. Their two children were eating their meals. *This* simple routine *was* paused after they *saw* their father. “Kids I’m home!” the father said.

It's not just grammar - you need to keep the tense consistant also.

Answer 3

Why you didn’t tell me you were coming home and why are you here?” She asked. He whispered words in her ear and she felt happy after hearing the message. “Don’t tell the kids yet because it’s a surprise.” He said. Their two children were eating their meals. The simple routine is paused after they saw the image of their father. “Kids I’m home!” the father said.

Answer 4

“Why didn’t you tell me you were coming home? She asked. "Why are you here?” He whispered words in her ears and she feels happy after hearing the message. “Don’t tell the kids yet, because it’s a surprise.” He says. Their two children were eating their meal and this simple routine is paused after they see the image of their father. “Kids I’m home!” says thier Father.

I corrected this the best way that I know how. You need to make sure you are using the same tense through out the entire paragraph, and wathc your punctuatation. I probably for got something or corrected something that was fine...but I tried. Hope this helps.

Answer 5

“Why didn’t you tell me you are coming home and why are you back?” She asked. He whispered words in her ears and she felts happy after hearing the message. “Don’t tell the kids , because it’s a surprise.” He said. Their two children were eating their meals. The simple routine was paused after they saw the image of their father. “Kids I’m home!” the father said.

The above is the correct answer for your question.

Answer 6

“Why you didn’t tell me you are coming home? Why are you here?” She asked. He whispered words in her ears and she feels happy after hearing the message. “Don’t tell the kids yet because it’s a surprise.” He said. Their two children were eating their meals. The simple routine is paused after they saw the image of their father. “Kids I’m home!” The father said.

I don't really think you should start a sentence with "WHy", but in a quote it should be fine. Really not too much wrong. I couldn't do better.

Answer 7

"Why didn’t you tell me you were coming home and why are you here?” she asked. He whispered words in her ear and she felt happy after hearing the message. “Don’t tell the kids yet because it’s a surprise.” he said. Their two children were eating their meals. This simple routine was paused when they saw the image of their father. “Kids I’m home!” the father said.

Answer 8

"Why you didn’t tell me you are coming home and why are you here?” She asked.
He whispered words IN her ear and she felts happy after hearing the message.
“Don’t tell the kids yet because it’s a surprise.” He said.
Their two children were eating their meals. The simple routine is paused after they saw the image of their father.
“Kids I’m home!” the father said

This would be the way I would set it out. I amy be wrong though.

Answer 9

“Why didn’t you tell me you were coming home? Why are you here?” she asked. He whispered a few words into her ear, and she felt happy after hearing them. “Don’t tell the kids yet, because it’s a surprise,” he said. Their two children were eating a meal. Everything stopped for a moment when they saw their father. “Kids I’m home!” he said.

Answer 10

“Why you didn't you tell me you are coming home and why are you here?" she asked. He whispered words into her ears and she felt happy after hearing the message. “Don't tell the kids yet because it's a surprise!” he said. Their two children were eating their meal. The simple routine paused when they saw their father. “Kids, I'm home!” the father said.