My husband is neglecting my feelings?

Question

We've been married for a yr bcus I was pregnant. I knew my marriage will not be hard to find happiness. Never expect to be this bad, no privacy wit his family, couldn't move out bcus he wants to help them. Our sex life been really bad, since we're married our clothes taken off only once, and most of times he asked me to do wat he needs. It got worse when I gave birth to my daughter 6 mons ago. Our clothes always on and I was the one who always started to see how he react but I always disappointed. I talked wit him and told me he doesn't know y, but he'll do anything to make it up except it. I know it's hopeless bcus he doesn't love me enough. He always puts his family first and now also his daughter but never his wife. I;m keeping this relationship bcus of him and my princess. He told he couldn't live without her and I couldn't live if my baby not happy. I always wish she could be warm and safe wit both parents.

I do wish even we;re separated he still comes visit his daughter. If there were only two of us I would have leave already. I spend my own money, he sometimes ask me to help him even he saved $25,000 and a few hundreds bucks in his wallet. It hurts that he does knows i only have $200 and still ask for my help. I tried to talk a lot , he did accept to go to counselor but only tried to get his daughter back becus I took her wit me to my mom's place once.

sex is not a big deal to me as long we're happy. As it comes to this point, everything i'm doing is not for me anymore. It's all for my baby and it does hurt to hear him says "I need her, I can't do anything without her"

Answer 1

You need to regain the passion and intimacy you once knew-----you have to discuss that with him-----and you need to make it absolutely clear to his family that you will have some measure of privacy or you will have to take your princess and your husband and move to a place where you can have a real life and live like a husband and wife should.
GET NAKED AND WILD

Answer 2

I know how you feel, I'm still at home with my parents and guess what my husband who is 41 years wants to stay there forever there is no future for us as all I see and my daughter 3 mos is between all this crap. As for sex and those other stuff, he just says that hes too fat and old. I married him because hes fat and old so if he wants to be stupid about it then let it be. As for you, you are the heart of it all, and I would suggest that you do your own thing (I mean don't cut him out completely) but let him be and if he starts getting less attention or no sex because you're thinking about you, then hey...he can't say anything because you'll always be you...the same loving and caring person that was there when he didn't notice that his wife actually existed and that she too has feelings

Answer 3

you have some good advice here from the first two at least I will add one more thing you BOTH need to go to a counselor if you go but he doesn't it does no good if he goes and you don't also bad so try that first I do beleive he doesn't love you enough but it also sounds like he is afraid you will leave and never let him see his daughter again (media and truth is alot of women get that way) reassure him get an annulment or divorce but make sure you allow him to see his daughter as much as he can and you can allow but this is only after or if counseling doesn't work.

Answer 4

Have u tried talking to your husband,he needs to know how u feel! The relationship will only work if u communicate with eachother,and to do that u need 2 let eachother know how the other is feeling. He can't go on treating u like this and you shouldn't allow it. I can tell how much u love your daughter but if u dont sort this mess out she is going to be caught right in the middle of it. If u do end up splitting up please dont stop him seeing his daughter as this will affect her in later life. Good luck,please talk 2 him it sounds like this has gone on long enough.

Answer 5

it style of sounds like he did not take you heavily until eventually you left. per chance once you complained in the previous, he did not understand what you actually meant. that's plausible that he idea you've been basically in undesirable moods or PMSing or some thing like that. it may be complicated for us to tell apart once you're heavily disturbed about some thing that should be addressed and once you're basically cranky and irritable. thus you note what befell once you made it clean that you've been leaving because mandatory ameliorations had no longer been made. He now takes you heavily and needs to regulate. So what's the priority? Do you assume him to know a thanks to regulate all on his own and a thanks to save issues getting in the right route? If he replaced into that wise and that able, he likely may have already finished that a lengthy time period in the past. He needs help. He needs training and encouragement. It can't all come from you both. you also favor help in attending to know a thanks to take a afflicted marriage and get it back heading in the right direction and save it getting in the right route. that's now complicated, and no individual has all the solutions. that's a tricky issue to do, and mistakes will me made. My advice is marriage counseling.

Answer 6

Sex is not that important in the overall scheme of things. After all, you all are in an almost impossible situation for good sex. How does he treat you? Does he support you financially? Is he a friend? In my book, he gets bonus points for marrying you when you got pregnant. UNLESS he married you just to abuse you (physically or verbally) or control you. If he's a decent person and treats you and your child well, I'd advise you to hang it there! Things will most likely get better. If he is abusive, you and your daughter are better off on your own.

Answer 7

Dear , In my country many such men exist. 90% of husbands care so much about their parents that they neglect their wife's. So , what has happened to you is commen in my country. Of course marriage counselors are perfect guides. I think it is a very old thinking that you endure everything for your daughter. My mom did the same thing for me and now she is all alone and thinks her life is wasted. You should never loss hope. If it did not work well even after consolation, I think you should start a new life for the sake of you and your daughter. After all he is not the only man on earth.

Answer 8

You have to talk with him and tell him what you are not happy about, he has to be more sensitive to your feelings, he married you and you and the baby are his family now, and you come first. If you can't be happy, then you won't be able to take care of your baby properly because it affects your emotions. Sounds like you are living with his parents, so that could be part of the problem, try to find your own place to live, or at your parents. It's very difficult living with parents or in-laws.

Answer 9

Have you guys thought about going to marriage counciling? I know you want your daughter to be happy, but in the long run her growing up watching both parents be indifferent towards eachother, what lesson is that teaching her. I've heard that a father instills the worth of his little girl and some girls end up choosing men like their fathers. I guess I would be slightly worried she might pick someone who is the same. See if you can get him to go to marriage counciling if he really wants to make this work.

Answer 10

You should see a counselor about the marriage problems you re facing because its the beginning stages and if you just let it flow then its the beginning of the end. Speak to him seriously about it. Try everything to make it work and if it still problematic then leave. Your child will understand.