I'm gay and nobody knows it except my friend, who is now in the other country. I act and talk softly and effeminate for that matter. Can I just stop acting my natural ways and attitude so that I could hide myself being gay forever? Or act like a strong man, which I found out that I can't act that way, so that nobody can have a hint of me? Whenever my friend is here, he's the one who defends me to other people that I am not gay, even if I am. My choice is not to come out. Please advise me on what to do.. Thanks.
2007-03-18 22:04:03 · 11 answers · asked by xandik_abesamis 1 in Society & Culture ➔ Cultures & Groups ➔ Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender
Hmmm....I am going to try not to judge here......bear with me. I believe we are always making choices, some help and some hurt, and most can manage both.
Firstly, why do you want to hide any part of yourself? Is it to maintain a safe lifestyle? Is it to protect someone? Would coming out really be that difficult? Only you can answer these questions, so I had to throw them out there.
Secondly, I want you to know that while you can change your mannerisms....(find them and train out of them)......you can't change you. Not completely, and not without alot of hurt.
To answer the more hurtful question, though, try this. I can provide a note of hope. Mannerisms can be unlearned and remade....like to keep from biting your nails, recognize you do, and then paint your nails ( a clear coat). To stop yourself from lisping, speech therapy says listen to yourself and others and firm up and clip your words and sentences. Avoid alternate forms of title....for Instance, adding honey, darling, or gir-r-l-l at the end of your sentences. Look everyone you speak to in the eye, address them in a conversation directly, stand straight, walk with.....oh, I can keep this up, but won't.
Talk to your friend. Love yourself. Live Well, and Good Luck.
I hope this helps.
2007-03-18 22:25:58 · answer #1 · answered by earthcaress 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Oh yes, you can act, or at least try acting as other than you really are. But it won't MAKE you other than you really are, and at the end of the day it's only going to hurt you by pretending you're some macho hetero guy when you're an effemiante gay guy. There's nothing wrong with your sexuality okay, learn to accept it and yourself.
2007-03-19 03:47:35 · answer #2 · answered by TFR 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
coming out isnt that hard really, im gay, i told a friend, then i told another, then the troubles started, he told someone, which spread, and basically the whole school knows now. i was really mad at him for doing it, but i thought (after about 3 months not talking to him) i might not forgive him of what he did, but i cant hate him for the rest of my life. i havnt told my parents yet though. i dont want to and i dont plan to yet. it is really hard to tell ppl.
but after telling my friends, i felt much much more free, i cant talk to them how i really feel and like. dont try to act different, you are who you are and you arent going to change that. im sure many of your other friends wont mind you being gay, but youll occasionally hit a snag and one of them wont accept it. like one of my friends i am fighting with now becoz i think hes against it. he was annoyed that i didnt tell him earlier too, which has got me even annoyed
think about it a lot, when you are ready youll have the will power to tell everyone. but take as long as you want. i did get hurt a lot through my travels but it all is slowly working out ok
2007-03-18 22:16:23 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
That is actually sad!!!the only honest advice i can give you is to be yourself!!!dont hide what and who you are rather embrace it!!!
im not saying you should walk with a t-shirt that says ''im gay'' but if you hide it it just makes life difficult and you might not ever be really happy!!!
2007-03-19 02:20:41 · answer #4 · answered by (,'')Sweet guy 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
ummm.. you got to know that it is normal to talk to the people of opposite sex. it is healthy n makes a guy confident about himself. So, to stop being jealous, you need to know what it feels like to be in his place. i bet you don't have many guy friends, do you? i suggest you go out there n talk to guys, chat up, live it up. i'm not asking you to flirt around, just be in their company, slowly you will be okay with your guy talking to girls.
2016-03-29 06:00:37 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
being gay isnt a problem to most people. i was once there where i didnt know if i should let myself out or should i keep it all in. but fortunately there are people out there who support others choice of sexuality. and im one of them!
2007-03-18 22:09:03 · answer #6 · answered by clueless_07 1 · 3⤊ 1⤋
most people become gay as a rebellion to their family or some family member harassed them when younger.
Get some psychological help and councelling, it might help.
maybe if you're not xtian, you should read about it.
2007-03-18 22:15:00 · answer #7 · answered by AntiOccult 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
always act like a strong man.
makes life less complicated.
2007-03-18 22:38:35 · answer #8 · answered by john john 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Don't ever stop being yourself. Let people acknowledge your for you....good luck to you.
2007-03-19 11:20:05 · answer #9 · answered by S.F. Girl 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
its hard, REALLY HARD but i think the best thing for you and everyone is for you to just tell your family....start with your parents if you want then whether you want it to or not....you can just tell them to spread it ....
2007-03-18 22:23:49 · answer #10 · answered by elmarroafamado 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋