I do not think he is cheating but he does not crave sex much anymore, but when he does it's on... Is it normal for married couples to have sex once a week. We have been married for 7 years March 27th He is not very affectionate either, but when he is he is. I do not understand this. We are going through alot with our family and I do not know if this is the problem also he stopped drinking a few months ago. Any Ideas what is up with my hubby?
2007-03-18 21:44:31 · 21 answers · asked by Nectory S 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Why don't you try sitting down and talking to him?????? It's good to talk you know............ Before it gets any worse.
2007-03-18 21:48:46 · answer #1 · answered by Margaret 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I now that we say "if there's smoke there's fire" but I don't smell smoke here and after all that time, you owe your husband the benefit of the doubt and more. Even when you do find some type of evidence that he might be having an affair, don't assume 'till you're sure. The X-factor is too prevalent right now to know exactly what is going on if anything at all is going on more than what you admit which you admit the fact that you are going through a lot right now. Talk with him and ask him how he feels and how he feels about your first 7 years together. How does he see the next 7 years and so on. Closeness, tenderness and compassion along with good communication if a thousand times more valuable than just sex in a marriage. Sex is a demonstration of the love you have for each other, but not the only one.
Teri
2007-03-19 05:19:39 · answer #2 · answered by Teri 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe he's going through a lot mentally and emotionally since he no longer has his favorite outlet of drinking. Did the difference in sexual interest coincide with his stopping drinking? Give him some time. Talk to him. Be sensitive and understanding. If it's a problem for you, ask him if he would be interested in counseling. If it doesn't matter, then don't think the worst (that he's cheating). Maybe he just is a little more nervous, or uptight since he stopped drinking and has to find balance again. As for whether it's normal to have sex just once a week, for many couples it is. For some couples, once a month is normal. Don't compare yourself to others. The question is, are you happy? If you both are? Then there's no problem. I'm sure you're happy he's given up drinking.
2007-03-19 04:49:50 · answer #3 · answered by ThatLady 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Maybe because you've been married for 7 yrs. and he think that it's ok not to have sex as much as you guys used to. Or this could be that he works a lot, tired, stressed out. There could be some other reasons beside cheating. Try not to assume things for right now. You can do some investigation yourself if u really suspect something is goin on behind your back. But the fact that he stopped drinking, this should tell you that the chances of him cheating on you is now less. So, think about it first before you put stress on yourself. Or you can also open up to him and ask him and talk about it. Maybe you should initiate it next time, that would even drive him crazy, don't you think? Good luck and don't worry too much.
2007-03-19 04:52:20 · answer #4 · answered by FlyingHi007 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I hate to say it, but I think what you are going through is, well, normal, whatever "normal" may be. On average, I'd say once a week is good for a couple married for 7 years! What you need to ask is, "is it normal for me to have sex once a week?" If you want more, let him know or do other things to increase intimacy in your life. I see a lot of positivity from what you mentioned- he is into you when you are intimate and he also stopped drinking. If there are a lot of life changing events going on, the libido can definitely be affected. The best advice I can give is to stand by his side and make sure that in the twists and turns that life brings us, your passion for each other still remains, even if you have to work a little bit harder.
2007-03-19 04:54:46 · answer #5 · answered by Lisa J 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Not having sex as much as you did when you were first married is normal - once or twice a week after seven years of marriage actually sounds about right. Trust me, I've been there...... It's not always that someone doesn't crave sex anymore as much as the newness and novelty eventually wears off as you settle in to married life. Outside distractions can cut into your time for this activity too. It's harder to find time to be romantic and do all of those silly little things you used to do when you are married and have kids, and other things weighing you down - it's not impossible, but you have to actually make more of a consious effort to keep that "spark" going. I wouldn't consider his behavior on that in and of itself as being a "red flag" that he might be cheating because it's fairly normal behavior for married people. Contrary to what some people have said here, many men are open to talking about this, it's just that they haven't thought about it because it happens in a marriage usually very gradually, sometimes guys just aren't aware of the change, not because they're insensitive, but they don't spend a lot of time looking back to where they were seven years ago, and are busy concentrating on the problems of today. I bet if you mentioned these things to him in a positive way you might be surprised at his reaction - many men are actually romantic at heart, modern life doesn't always give them a outlet to express it.
2007-03-19 05:18:14 · answer #6 · answered by the phantom 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
as you said family would be the reason, why don't you sit him down and talk it out? you two are married and as husband and wife you should make everything clear otherwise your marriage will not be happy. You should be glad that you're luckier than a lot of people, smile. My clothes always on whenever my husband needs it, he wouldn't touch me until he knows I really need it. Guess wat? if I don't start he would ask for it once in every 2 wks. HE wouldn't give me the reason, all he said it happened after I gave birth but I do know he doesn't love me enough. Anway, I beleive ur problem will be solved if you put ur effort to it. Remember, try to have a conversation and everything will work out.
good luck
2007-03-19 05:24:31 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I found out my husband had been cheating last year. I would check his mobile phone bills. My husband phoned + texted his women (yes... there turned out to be 2 of them) a lot. Also check his credit card and bank statements for anything unusual.
Your husband may not be playing away. He may just be unhappy for lots of different reasons so talking is CRUCIAL. Have hope. Hard as it was, we are still together and, bizarrely, happier. Tho I wouldn't recommend infidelity as a cure for a marriage that has sailed off course! I wish u well and truly hope u don't find anything. Either way, you must talk to ur husband about how his behaviour is making u feel. Good Luck xx
2007-03-19 05:04:31 · answer #8 · answered by Swampy 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sorry love I don't agree with Margaret. Everyone knows men aren't great commuicators when it comes to personal stuff. Also there can't be many men who will own up to having an affair if asked. If I were you I would watch him closely. You will know. As the for sex once a week this is normal for married couples. I know.
2007-03-19 04:53:11 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sex once a week is not rare for married couples. When your married 20 years it could be once a month or less I hear.
2007-03-19 04:50:17 · answer #10 · answered by Barbara Doll to you 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is written in the Hebrew Talmud, the book
where all of the sayings and preaching of
Rabbis are conserved over time.
It says: "Be very careful if you make a woman
cry, because God counts her tears. The woman
came out of a man's rib. Not from his feet to be
walked on. Not from his head to be superior, but
from the side to be equal. Under the arm to be
protected, and next to the heart to be loved."
2007-03-19 06:49:28 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋