sex question?

Question

ok so i am soo confused.. because i am not much of a psysical person... like i can live without it... and well when i am in the mood its like i am up for it and i like somethings that i though my husband is really horny like i think hed think i am wierd... and i feel stupid because once i am done.. though a lto of times i try to last enough for him to get done like if i am accidently done before him.. i find it anoying to be touched in ways that normally you wouldnt be touched... like you can se eits really hard for me to understand how to explain because im confused... but i cant control not liking and getting grumpy to be touched when i am not aroused... i am only open when i am...and for themost part during my normal day if my husband does something or says somethihng i feel embarrased which gets me grumpy because i feel really embarrased.. its wierd.. im confused now.. ok .. can somebody help me understand well not understand but help me not be soo radical

as i said i am very confused so i am sorry if its hard to follow. but even myself i dont know how to explain something i dont understand.

Answer 1

Clearly, you are embarrassed when you get embarrassed.
Like, duh!?

Answer 2

It's fairly hard to determine exactly what you're saying due to the poor punctuation you use and the fact that you are not using sentences and paragraphs, but I think I get the gist of your angst.

It appears you are simply not a sexual person and this causes tension in your marriage because (I assume here) your husband has what you might call a normal male libido.

There really isn't any outside answer that can truly help you. By outside, I mean an answer someone outside of your marriage can give you.

Because of this I don't reccomend online help as your primary source of support. If this is a big problem between you and your spouse or if you fear it will become one, you should seek real professional help. The internet is no true solution for you, and at best can only put a band aid on the problem.

The only question I really have for you would be whether there is an underlying reason for your lack of interest in physical contact with your husband. While you seem to be saying "That's just the way I am" I am skeptical of this statement.

There certainly are men and women who simply don't like intimate physical contact just because of who they are, but in most instances a dislike of intimate physical contact occurs because of unresolved personal issues relating to said contact or in some instances actual physical pain experienced, mainly by women, from the act of coitus.

Previous physical or sexual abuse is most often the cause of the mental health aspect of the problem, but there can be many other reasons as well. As to the physical pain there are several ailments (some are treatable, some are not) that can afflict women, but they are far too complex to be able to go into much detail about here.

If none of this is the case then you two simply have to learn to compromise with each other on this issue, just like any other. By no means does a person's lack of interest in physical contact explicitly mean there is something wrong with them.

Again, this is the internet, to really solve an issue like this you need to be 100% honest (and I'm stressing 100% if you want it solved you can't leave anything out) with someone you can trust, like a mental health professional or a medical doctor if the cause is physical.

Answer 3

I made my best effort to read you posting, but doing so has given me quite a headache.

As nearly as I can tell your problem is that your husband comes to you for sexual touching or activity at times when you are not interested. This annoys, embarreses and angers you? Is that right?

If so then you are not the first woman to run into this issue. ;)
It is a very common problem that you could learn quite a bit about from a marriage counciler. I suggest you both go together.

Answer 4

See a sex therapist. Most women go through that stage and it passess.

Answer 5

I suggest you go to www.allexperts.com and ask your question there. You can get answers that are not as censored as they are here. And there you won't get a bunch of idiots throwing silly stuff at you.

Answer 6

You need to experiment more. Get out of the house.

Answer 7

Try my favorite sex therapist on line...
www.bettydodson.com
Good luck

Answer 8

see a marriage therapist

Answer 9

Like, oh my god!! Like, learn to use periods and capital letters. Like, people will actually be more willing to help you if you do, because like, they will actually be able to comprehend it.