I think about getting something horrible happening to me everyday. this is not normal right?

Question

I dont think this is normal..I live in NYC and was raised here, have been the victim of crimes in the past so maybe that has alot to do with it... Everyday i think about something horrible happening. Like when guys sit across from me on the train i wonder if they will masturbate or flash me when im not looking(its happened to me before) When I wait for the train , i walk to the middle of the platform to make sure no one pushes me into the tracks. When i walk home, i wonder if anyone is following me. When the door rings and they say its fedex, i dont believe them and i dont answer(i rather pick up the package than risk being attacked)

Answer 1

I highly, highly agree with MBK. I was going to mention Post Traumatic Stress if she didn't.

If you're not familar with this syndrome it's seen most often in soldiers returning from war. You might have heard it referred to in the past as "Shellshock". Essentially these men, and people such as yourself, have just experienced too much trauma for their minds to handle.

Either way, It is a very good suggetion that you seek professional help in this matter.

As for moving, big city life isn't for everyone and contary to popular belief there are a whole lot of intelligent, cultured folks outside of New York City and whole lot less of the wierdos, gangs, and nutballs.

Answer 2

No, it's not "normal" in the sense that most people are not like that. It's more normal in NYC than in many other places because the risks are more real there. Past experience of crime that you have felt traumatically is very likely to be something to do with it, yes. It's called PTS - Post Traumatic Stress.

There is a very real danger that dwelling on these thoughts and feelings will create the very thing you want to avoid. Fear is like that, it makes what we most fear to happen happen.

I would suggest you develop ways of creating inner peace, such as trust in God, meditation, and a relaxed indifference to things like being flashed at which, if you look at it, is yucky but not dangerous (most flashers are not rapists) ~ while continuing to take the common-sense precuations you do on the subway, with doorbell callers, etc.

And consider how far your happiness might be served in the long run by moving to a less frenetic city.

Answer 3

I can understand your actions but the good thing is that you are still doing things and not staying in your unit like a freak hiding from society. Look at it this way you have your wits about you if someone does something. Deodarant spray is a good legal weapon to carry around.

Answer 4

Normal reaction to an abnormal environment. (We need God's new system SOON).