Good MARRIED friend of mine flirting with my brother in law and don't know what to do?

Question

I have a super close friend who I hang out with all the time. And just recently her flirtation with other men (MIND YOU SHE IS MARRIED, HAS BEEN FOR 3 YEARS) has gotten out of control and it is towards my brother in law (who first of all should know better) Well we went out this past Friday and low and behold it was to a place where he was at, it started out as a harmless game of flirtation that quickly turned into a partial strip tease, groping, almost make-out session. It was actually quite stomach turning as her husband is a good friend of mine and my husband. Her husband is the greatest guy in the world BTW. Well at the end of the night I went to take her home and she argued that she wanted him (my BIL) to take her home I told her that wasn't such a good idea to just let me take her home and she refused to I said screw it. Well the next morning when I talked to her to see if she got home ok she was like yeah we (my BIL &her) made-out and had sex in his car. And then quickly

said oh no I am just kidding but brought it up two more times that day. I do feel in my heart that there is something going on because she always refers to them as "secret lovers" and what not even though she claims to be kidding I think she is being serious. The whole thing just makes me sick b/c #1 my BIL should know better and #2 she is married to a WONDERFUL guy. They both have myspaces which he has pictures of her on which I don't think that is right either. I don't know what to do should I have a talk with her or should I just go straight to her husband and let him know because I think that if they haven't slept together yet they will soon if someone doesn't get involved and I don't know what to do. As I look at my BIL like a big brother to me and she is a good friend but I hate that she is doing this to her husband.
WHAT SHOULD I DO????????

I do agree on the whole "staying out of it" deal but the thing is that if my husband was doing this to me I would want someone to tell me. It is a damn shame that her husband who is so sweet and so kind and cherishes the ground she walks on is getting hurt like this. I am seriously caught between a rock and a hard place on this one.

Well, to the one person who said I should let it go it isn't a fact of "might know" I have seen her behave this way with him numerous times and the flirtation is getting worse. Example right in front of me she asked him to give her a kiss like she would her husband if they were out together. I mean I don't know why she would do this in front of me knowing we are such great friends with not only her but her husband as well. Imagine if that was your wife or husband how you would feel if your best friend knew all about it but never told you, I think I would be more mad at my friend for not telling me so that I knew sooner or got a chance to confront them on the allegations but in this situation they aren't allegations I have phsycially seen it happen.

oh no no no I do not have a physical attraction towards her husband as I am madly head over heals in love with the man I am with and would NEVER do anything to get in the way of that. He is my soulmate and I love him with every last breath that I have. My friends husband grew up with mine so they are really close friends and I have known him since I first got with my husband so I look to him like a big brother as well because he looks out for me. There is no physical attraction just a friend who doesn't want to see another friend get hurt by someone who would rather cheat.

Answer 1

I would sit her down and tell her that this has got to stop. Tell her that her behavior is putting you in the middle of things and if she doesn't stop it, you will speak to her husband (you don't know for sure if she slept with your BIL but you do know about the excessive over-the-top flirting). She has made it your business by doing this in front of you with your own family members. How do you stay out of something that is done in your face?

As far as what she said online...I'd believe it too. Unfortunately a friend of mine had an affair with a married man and she told me exactly like your friend told you. When I wigged out, she denied it and said she was just drunk. Three weeks later, she admitted it was the truth. I am of the opinion that when my friend behaves in a manner I object to (especially morally), Iet them know in no uncertain terms.

Good luck. I am sorry that this is happening to you. It is a hard thing confronting someone about something like this.

Answer 2

I think you make things so they tell on themselves. You understand what I mean. Sometimes the love blinders are on for spouses and they can't see what's right in front of them. I'm guessing these two have more then just my space pages find out where and when there making contact. Then make sure one or both the spouses show up. Maybe even plan a double date with your BIL and his wife and your friend and her husband. Then mention about what happened that night after you left them alone and see what tends to surface as an excuse

Answer 3

It s not a surprise. I don t trust anyone anymore , because this happens ALOT . And believe it or not, More Women are cheating now-a-days then men.

Even my ex-wife did, which is why i left her.

I suggest this, if you value your own belief s (which is all we have in this world, if we keep true to them), then staying friends with a woman who would do this, have se x and cheat with others , then you are saying its ok to do this.

Myself, I can not be friend s with those whom do not have the same value s as I have.

Unless you like the husband that you mention is so kind to her. (which i hope im wrong, but it sounds like that).

Personally, I would tell him the truth about his wife. Just tell Everyone the truth.

If all stil stay together, then thats a group of people that will gets Aid s before caring about value s.

This is why I have my shell locked tight. I trusted my ex-wife and i got hurt. She was the only one i ever allowed in my heart, and so now I closed it tight.

I m 25 and she was 13 years older then I , so maybe all she wanted me for was the se x . I don t know. Then that wasn t enough, she went and had more from others.

I always found myself attracted to women older then I , cause I thought they were more mature. I admire and adore mature women.

But now , my trust in people... I don t know.... take a soft aggresive determined touch to get to my heart now.

Answer 4

I'd say her husband should know. Without honesty, their relationship can't be too good. I'd say she should tell him, but if she won't, you or someone else might have to... and it'd be better from someone he knows and trusts like you than from someone he doesn't know so well... but first, try talking to her about the whole thing - tell her what you're going through with this whole thing. If she doesn't listen, she's no real friend and doesn't care about anyone but herself, and she deserves whatever she gets.

Answer 5

With the way she is flaunting her affair all over town, they are hardly "secret" lovers. If I were you, I would give my bro-in-law fair warning that I am going to inform his lover's husband of what is going on. That way bro-in-law has a chance to break it off and save his bacon. If he doesn't, I'd follow through and inform the husband.

Answer 6

She's not only a crap wife, she's a crap friend also, to be behaving like that, in front of you. By keeping quiet about it, she's making you an accomplice in her infidelity. Sounds like she doesnt deserve the lovely husband.

Answer 7

tell your best friend to chill out and if you belive in your heart that she is going all the way with other men tell her husband marraige is a sacred vow and for what you have said she is not faithful to her husband call the show cheaters joey greico will solve this for you and your friends husband

Answer 8

Tell her to leave your brother-in-law alone. She is a married woman, and you do not want to see him hurt. If she continues, then she is not your friend. Ask her how she would like it if her husband did that to her?

Answer 9

Yes "U" stay out of this as they both are adult enough to know betwen right and wrong. You must also understand that the reason she "might" be doing this is because she might not be getting the best or enough with her husband at home, you can never know. So let it be.

Answer 10

tell your friend she need's to stop or your telling his wife whats going on some one has to put a stop to it