I am 16 and have been with my bf for 2 years. We are in a very loving and serious relationship and for some reason I feel like i want a baby sometimes. Please help me to change my mind. Don't worry I am not planning on purposely getting pregnant and I am on the pill.
2007-03-18 19:36:03 · 22 answers · asked by Anonymous in Health ➔ Women's Health
It's totally normal to have the feelings you're having, but you should take them as just that, feelings. Hormones have a huge impact on our feelings... I know that my desire to have a baby came soon after I got my period, and still hasn't gone away!
The difference is that when you get a little bit older you (hopefully) realize that it's important to be emotionally and financially prepared to have a child. It's not fair to make a baby just because you want one (although I completely understand the desire).
Once you have a child, everything changes in your life, and your responsibilites are more than you ever dreamed they would be. You also lose all the freedom that you're used to as a young woman... you've got lots of time to make a family once you get a little bit older and make a stable life for yourself. In the meantime, be happy with your freedom, and thankful that you have a strong maternal instinct that will come in handy some day!
2007-03-18 22:53:12 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
There are several reasons that simply scream to be heard here. First of all, you are only 16. A baby is not a doll, it is a total commitment to a living being, 24 hours a day 7 days a week for a lifetime. Although the baby eventually grows to a mature adult that doesn't require much, that takes a good 18 years. Longer than you have even currently been alive, I might mention. You also have a boyfriend- not a husband. This boy is not the one who will be pregnant 9 months. He will not be the one to go through labor and delivery, and if you are lucky, you might actually get child support. Not enough to support you and the child, mind you. You also risk living at or below the poverty line, both you and this potential baby, for the rest of your natural life. If you get pregnant, teenage years end. Fun for you ends. There is no more going out with your friends on the spur of the moment. There is no more mall walking and shopping. There are diapers, formula, baby sitters, and baby care. Babies may start out cute and small, but they do not stay that way. They cry at all the wrong times, and they are very demanding. They grow into toddlers. The boy is also probably not ready to be a father either, and for him it is very easy to simply disappear when the going gets tough. And then where will you be? Holding on to the baby carriage, that's where. One poor mother, half educated, kissing her dreams goodbye and resenting the baby you thought you wanted so badly. That's where you will be. And then you will watch your "friends" move on with their lives and dreams, and leave you behind. So put that biological clock in the closet under a thick blanket, and ignore the ticking. If you really need to, go hang out with somebody who actually has a baby, and keep up with them for a full day. If your school has one of the robot babies, check it out for a weekend and try out parenthood. If that doesn't stop the clock, I don't know what would. But cut through the romantic thoughts and get with reality. Because babies are real, and you won't be able to put it back where it came from when the new wears off.
2007-03-19 02:49:03 · answer #2 · answered by The mom 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
I got married at 18 and had my son after my 19 birthday. I am very happy with my husband and son but sometimes I think about how much less stressful my life would be without them. Babies put alot of stress on any relationship. Even if its the perfect relationship babies change everything.
I love my son but sometimes I would love to just be able to take a shower or go shopping or even take a nap but I can cuz I have to take care of my son. They are a 24 hr job and most dont start sleeping thru the night til a year old or older.... So if you have a baby say goodbye to sleeping in and getting 8 hrs of sleep.
It also messes up your body. You might get stretch marks. You get a lil pooch that is just loose skin left after the pregnancy. Your breasts even if you dont breastfeed will get less perkier.
This is some of the downsides to having a kid. I love my son and dont regret him at all. Its a rewarding job just overwhelming at times. Just wait is all I can say til your done with school and hopefully married cuz that will make it easier. Also enjoy being that young and carefree it doesnt last forever.
2007-03-19 02:47:32 · answer #3 · answered by Marie C 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Look after someone elses baby for a week with out their assistance.Trust me within the 1st day you will change your mind.
if live in Birmingham,Uk, i can set u up with a baby to look after.
If your so brudy help out at an orphanage.
THE BAD STUFF!!
The down side is that you Vagina may rip during birth and that means you can't have sex with your boyfriend for 3-6months. He won't like that and it will put pressure on you.
Try abstaining from sex for 3months and see how many problem you will go through.
Plus if your not earning minium £15000 a year (after tax robs you) you will find it difficult. employers don't like to employ women with children because children get in the way of your work commitment.
You will get nasty stretch Marks
You will look tired and haggard due to sleepless nights
Saggy Sore Breasts
Your vagina will be stretched out so when you and your man have sex he won't enjoy it as much because it wont be tight and firm any more.It will be too loose.
You will have to get used to constant vormitting
Bat wings on your arms
Swollen ankels
Your gonna get Fat and when the baby is born the fat will hang down
Giving birth is 3times the pain of having a heart attack.People die from that.
PREGNANCY CAN KILL!!
and if you still want a baby after all that then you have got to be sick in the head.
Oh yeh 1 more thing try and get married because if you live in England and your not married if you boyfriend leaves you for a women who has a tighter vagina,breast than you at least the divorce settlement will ensure that he will have to keep up financial responisbility for his child.
hope your put off now
2007-03-19 07:22:05 · answer #4 · answered by Lil CeeCee 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
babies are difficult I had my first son at 19. I wouldn't take it back but I wish I did wait a bit longer. I am married to his father and very happy all together I have 3 sons. You must know these days it is so important to have a child only if 2 people (mother and father) are involved in its life. Without 2 parents then the child is doomed to have a miserable life and you will regret not waiting. For your child will put the blame on you. Children are difficult you need to find a sitter and most important trust in the sitter, you can't just go out when you want to, you have to be involved with the child's school read books to them, teach them are you ready for this? best thing to do is wait until you are happily married you have a steady income and you have a home to raise your family in.
2007-03-19 02:50:29 · answer #5 · answered by ompie 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
its a completely normal and common thing to have the feeling u want to have a baby when you have been in a serious relationship with someone for as long as you have. my girl and i have been together for 2 years also and have both felt the same way that we wanted a baby. what we did and is what you should do also is talk about together and think of all the ups and downs and think about the future and about what would happen between the two of you. think about how you two would be able deal with all the stress.
2007-03-19 03:16:20 · answer #6 · answered by gagnon86 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
I think u r getting "clucky"; you want to be around kids and care for them, nurturing them and spending time with them. Try baby sitting or getting a job in child care. Trust me its too early. Your body hasnt finished growing yet trust me!!!! Wait till ur 20 at least. If you have other interests...travel etc that you want to share with ur bf...do it now so that you wont feel like having a child has held you back when you do have one. a child is a 24/7 commitment for the next 18yrs...and then an on call committment for the rest of your life.
2007-03-19 03:32:49 · answer #7 · answered by . 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
It's normal that you feel that way, come on, your a girl. But I am 16 and have a 6 month old son. You do NOT want a baby this early. Just enjoy what you have with your boyfriend. :-)
2007-03-19 13:51:40 · answer #8 · answered by c0urtn3y 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should be trying to sleep, but let me say this "someday you might be sleeping and getting your rest for work, and you might have a 16 year old daughter on the computer talking about having a baby" so ya better figure out your income first.
2007-03-19 02:45:26 · answer #9 · answered by 5-Stars 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
don't worry ur time'll come 4 u 2've a baby. i wanted 2 have a baby since the year 2000, my problem is i'ven't found the right partner. so i decided not 2 have till i got the right partner.
2007-03-19 06:15:38 · answer #10 · answered by honey bear 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋