My daughter is one of the top three students in track & field events. But she refuses to participate in this after school activity because of the persistant behavior portrayed by the gay/lesbian athletes in the girl locker room & on the bus trips. These gay/lesbian students have a reputation of trying to recruit other young ladies. This really disturbs me!!! I'm so angry that if my daughter tells me that one of the gay girls made an inappropriate comment to her, I know I'll just get extremely angry and yell or lash out at them!!! I need to know what to do!!! Please advise!!!!
2007-03-18 18:27:24 · 51 answers · asked by barbara w 1 in Society & Culture ➔ Cultures & Groups ➔ Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender
the behavior you describe is called bullying and it transcends race, gender, and sexual preference. contact the coach and school administrators. in most schools, it is illegal.
2007-03-18 18:34:01 · answer #1 · answered by siobahn_85 2 · 11⤊ 1⤋
What do you mean you are totally against gay behaviour? I am a lesbian & I find that statement quite offensive. I don't behave in an inapropriate way just because I happen to be gay. If your daughter is being bullied then have a word with the school about it, but it sounds to me like it's probably just normal teenage stuff. They may be saying things deliberately as a result of you & your daughter being so anti-gay. I was bullied at school (by heterosexual girls) & it was very unpleasant. By the way, you can't recruit someone into being gay. It isn't a club. You are born that way, just as you were born heterosexual. There is nothing wrong with being gay or lesbian, you really should read up on this subject & learn some true facts if it concerns you so much. Are you sure you aren't angry because you are worried your daughter may be a lesbian so you have to put the blame elsewhere?
2007-03-19 21:38:21 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
People cant be recruited into gay/lesbian behaviour - you are born gay just the same way you are born straight.
Are you sure it isnt just because you are totally bigoted against gays that you are imagining this kind of stuff going on. Do you live in a small town where people are shunned for being gay? If so dont you think this is just the rumour mill working over time?
Has anyone actually approached your daughter or made a pass at her? Because from what you have said I dont think they have. This is just small mindedness and you need to grow up. Would you be asking this if it was some male athlete trying it on with your daughter?
2007-03-18 21:46:10 · answer #3 · answered by Lady Claire - Hates Bigotry 6 · 3⤊ 0⤋
What I advise is a reality check. What do you mean by 'recruit'? What do you mean by 'inappropriate comment'? If your daughter is that sensitive maybe it is down you the way you brought her up. The point is if she is such a brilliant athlete then maybe she should concentrate on the athletics rather than side issues. If she really is being harassed you need to be clearer with how and make sure it is reported to the relevant authorities. However you need to get away from looking at it purely as a 'lesbian/gay' issue and getting it confused with your own clear prejudices and think about what is really going on.
You have posted this in a LGBT section so you are clearly looking for some kind of reaction from people, which again leads me to the conclusion you don't necessarily have your daughter's best interests at heart, but you are allowing your own prejudices and assumptions to get in the way.
2007-03-18 20:14:43 · answer #4 · answered by waggy 6 · 4⤊ 2⤋
Any bullying needs to be reported to authorities. If they take no action report it to someone further up. Bullying of ANY kind is not acceptable. Gay or straight! Whatever happens YOU need to remain calm or you make it worse for your daughter. You need to be all business about reporting it and making certain it does not continue.
Gays cannot "recruit" others to be gay any more than the other way around. Kids are kids and they take perverse pleasure in making each others lives difficult. It's part of growing up which is why you need to be the grown up. Try to remain detached as much as possible because your anger or desire to protect your daughter can complicate the issue. Lashing out at children won't get you or your daughter anywhere. If there's anyone to lash out at it's the coach that doesn't stop it. The COACH is supposed to be the responsible adult and they should be held accountable. The student's safety is their job and they are being paid for it so go to their boss, the school, if nothing meets with your satisfaction.
2007-03-18 18:54:13 · answer #5 · answered by MissWong 7 · 4⤊ 0⤋
Right.. rant on (sorry but...)
If they are obviously forcing her to do things sexually that IS harrassment and should be reported etc etc.... This shouldnt happen and it is the same if a boy was trying to force her into doing things.
What I disagree and can't understand is the term you use 'recruit' I hear many homophobes use this saying. You can't recruit people to be gay love!! I found out I was gay when I was 14/15 ish, I couldn't help the feelings anymore than heterosexuals have feelings for the opposite sex like you do. You don't have people going up to you 'join the society!!' Just to reinforce yourself if you are a homophobe YOU CANNOT CHOOSE TO BE GAY please do not tar us all with a negative brush because some girls are forcing your daughter to take part in sexual acts (which if they are I agree is wrong but is not representative of 'gay behaviour' as you call it) :rolleyes:
Sorry if I have misunderstood, obviously if they are trying to get her to do things and she says no and they still persit thats wrong but I would say the same had a boy do it to her. Report it, but please dont be against gay people, gay people dont recruit!!
Rant off!!!
2007-03-19 04:11:16 · answer #6 · answered by spikey_dan 1 · 2⤊ 1⤋
I think your too hung up on the gay thing. Sexual harassment coming from someone of any gender or sexual orientation is a real cause for concern, as is inappropriate sexual activity in public from anyone gay or straight. If these girls are actually doing those things then speak with the head master. If on the other hand the real issue is that homosexuality offends you then that is your problem.
2007-03-18 22:55:57 · answer #7 · answered by Jordan G 3 · 4⤊ 0⤋
OK Mom I hate to break it to ya, but your daughter might be in the closet. I mean c'mon, she IS in track and field, hello? What might be happening is that she cant handle that about herself so she is pointing the finger at all the other girls to keep any suspicions off of herself.
Another thing, "gay behavior"? It's not a behavior Mom, it's a fact of life. You find it in nature as well as humans. You gotta face the fact that some people are born different. If you didn't spout off all the time to your daughter about how evil and nasty "those people" are, maybe she could trust you with the truth about herself, if indeed that is the case.
Try a little acceptance of other people and all of their differences. If your daughter is TRULY, TRULY totally and completely straight, there is NO girl in the entire world who can "turn" her gay. That is a total myth.
2007-03-18 21:03:35 · answer #8 · answered by Alias400 4 · 6⤊ 1⤋
Ok, look... If your daughter is being harassed, seriously harassed, then you have a legal leg to stand on. If they are making passes at her, or looking at her, or making her uncomfortable (not just because they are gay), then bring it up to the coach, and/or principal. If she is just uncomfortable because they are openly gay, then I say shame on you for raising someone so unaccepting. It is obvious where she would get this close-minded opinion from. And on the subject of "recruiting" it doesn't happen. You are just so afraid of them because they are different that you feel as if they are trying to "change" you. You are either born gay or you're not, we can't "recruit" you over to our "side".
2007-03-19 08:09:54 · answer #9 · answered by jjspike 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
maximum religous people evaluate gay habit a sin, for this reason the controversy. i might say that the final public of the rustic would not have confidence that consensual homosexuality would desire to be against the regulation, so the only reason they stay against decriminalizing homosexuality is that devoid of regulations making gay activities unlawful, there incredibly are no longer any logical criminal limitations to gay marriage. gay marriage for those people is the subsequent step on the line to the destruction of our society, so which you will think of how strongly they're against it. on a similar time as your good judgment is right, the religous majority factor to the bible and say "Gods notice publicizes your interest a sin, and the punishment for that sin interior the bible is dying. you will desire to experience fortunate that we've compromised on in basic terms sending you people to penitentiary." Logical arguments do no longer mean something to those religous persons besides.
2016-10-01 03:54:56 · answer #10 · answered by guyden 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There is no such thing as gay behaviour such as you are describing, it is simply one person's (or bully's) behaviour and you can not judge all gays against that.
As for the recruiting - you can not be recruited to be gay or heterosexual, you are or not.
Your daughter need to learn to deal with life or she won't be able to cope later in life. What do you think will happen if a boy made the same comment to her, would that be acceptable because he is not gay ?
Help her and give her guidance how to deal with the issue, you wont be able to shield her forever.
2007-03-18 19:22:08 · answer #11 · answered by stoutseun69 4 · 6⤊ 0⤋