ive been married 4 3 1/2 yrs and n the beginning things were good but it changed n my eyes when i had my son...my husband wants me 2 b that woman i was b4 the baby and i told him that's not going 2 change bc having a baby changes everything...so i have the slightest idea how 2 actually turn him on like i used 2 b4 the baby came bc what im doing now is apparently not working...so can any1 help me out here????
2007-03-18 17:32:09 · 12 answers · asked by febriana 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
watch some porn and do what you never seen
2007-03-18 17:35:54 · answer #1 · answered by TEBOE7 3 · 0⤊ 2⤋
Firstly, I just want to say I think it is awesome you are asking about your concerns, many women do not ask these things till years later.
I agree baby comes first...and it's awesome you recognize baby needs mum. Do not forget to take care of yourself as a woman and a wife. Don't stop going on dates, and doing sweet things for one another, of course this goes both ways.
If it has been that long,and you feel nervous or uncomfortable having a weekend getaway to yourselves might be your best bet to kick things off in the romance dept; :D Have a glass of wine, relax and take things slow. Don't rush into it, take that time to relearn your man's turn on's, and discover new ones. ;) Sometimes it's hard to juggle being mum, and a woman, I've been there, and am still, lol Hope these suggestions help!
I really hope he isn't being overly pushy about sex, like some men are. That I find to be so inconsiderate, considering you have just made, and birthed a baby. Silly me..I always thought a man should be the one making an honest effort to be more attentive to the new mum's needs,reassuring her, and making her feel sensual and beautiful. On a slightly humorous note:
Don't take heed to any of the asshat immature boys who are giving thoughtless selfish opinions. Most of them should be asleep at this hour school is tomorrow!!
2007-03-18 17:44:06 · answer #2 · answered by Dalmatica Z 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
He needs to be more patient. It is not always about them. Having a baby changes you hormonally and you get tired more easily. You have to make him feel special though, not give all attention to the baby. Set some time aside when you are not exhausted and the baby is asleep or at a relative's house and set the mood. Greet him at the door wearing a smile, make him a fantastic dinner, play some soft romantic music, light some candles and take a nice hot soapy bath together. Men love sexy clothing, so buy something just for him to see. Give him a nice back rub and extend it to other areas and just be creative. Tell him how much you love and appreciate him. Make him feel like a real he man.
2007-03-18 17:38:26 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
Try remembering the "little stuff" you used to do for each other Like, maybe you would get up and make him breakfast before work, or give him back rubs after a long day. Then, try really hard to do some of those things again, and maybe if you do it for him, he will do little things for you again also. Then, the other things will come back into your marriage also. My husband and I went through this also, and I asked him "Why don't you ever do anything sweet for me anymore?" and he asked me "Why don't you?" which made me realize that I was expecting so much from him, yet I was pushing him away from me... So, when I did things for him again, he helped me more... Then, the romance began coming back, and we're still working on that part more...
2007-03-18 18:04:00 · answer #4 · answered by It's Just My Opinion 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
My last baby was when I was 35 yrs. old. I was diagnosed finally with post partum depression. (after 4 yrs ) I blamed my husband for everything. Now things are great-after 23 yrs. of marriage. My first baby, at 32, put me in a world of just me and my baby. He was my world. I loved all of it. I had the baby fat for a year. I shared my world as a mother to my hubby. It was only when he wanted me, is when I gave myself to him. That all became boring to him after some time-of course. I had to share my love to both, which at first, I communicated all this and that helped a great deal. Now he understood my position-as a new mother! Yes, life changes. But hubby's don't get this for one. So what I did, was go out with the girls, or family and left the baby with him, for a few hours. He caught on. I continued to this. And he understood why I didn't have the feelings or that life before motherhood arrived. And the hubby didn't like that responsibility of being by himself with a baby. But he caught on real fast. Once he understood, our sex life improved because he now understood my world. hope this helps.
2007-03-18 17:48:27 · answer #5 · answered by uniquelyours19 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
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2016-10-02 09:01:36 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Try mixing it up. Get a sitter go out to dinner and jump him in the car in the parking lot. While the little one is in bed flash him and see what happens. Get a hotel room and tell him to meet you there. Greet him with his favorite drink, his favorite lingerie on you, and give him a special "massage" Just use your imagination a little. Most of all, enjoy it! Good luck!
2007-03-18 17:38:45 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
If I were him, I'd want to have sex often. Most men I know don't care a lot about all the other things, the romance, etc., it's more about just having sex. Middle of the night, in the morning, at night, whatever, and him not always initiating the idea.
It's very in style at the moment, in porn and otherwise, to be completely shaved. That would be interesting to most guys.
2007-03-18 17:37:20 · answer #8 · answered by LD 4 · 0⤊ 2⤋
Just keep on dressing nicely and give him plenty of kisses..who knows, you may need to be the woman he met before the second baby!
2007-03-18 17:37:27 · answer #9 · answered by ♫ Melody 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Introduce some tropical fruit to the bedroom, it tastes great and the juice creates a really nice fizz on your bits
2007-03-18 17:35:15 · answer #10 · answered by Modus Operandi 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
you need to get away for a weekend if you can just the two of you get a hotel room with a whirlpool and go to town that has worked for me in the past
2007-03-18 17:36:36 · answer #11 · answered by tenthirty_two 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋