An ex and I ended things very badly. We we were very close. it was special. However, something happened and he became very cold and hrtful to me. Much was involved including a child he had with someone else, before we met. I helped him thru much of this. Anyhow, we exchanged hurtful words and have not spoken in over a month or so. I didn't expect him to call me, although I hoped he would. But everyday, it ate at me, the things I said to him and the way I behaved. So tonight, I called him and I got his voice mail. I left him a message and told him that I was sorry, and that no matter what, as a friend, I only wanted him to be happy and I should have backed away, knowing a child was involved. I will admit he was wrong about much, but there was much confusion involved. I dont know what he thinks, but I feel a sense of relief. Was I stupid? Should I not have called? I also said that I don't expect to hear from him and its ok. And I think I will be, if I never hear from him again. I just
2007-03-18 17:20:24 · 11 answers · asked by maria s 2 in Social Science ➔ Psychology
wanted him to know and understand where I was coming from. After all, I am human.
2007-03-18 17:21:03 · update #1
If I could use a "highlight" pen, it would be on this: "...but I feel a sense of relief." It wasn't stupid, & very important--is the message you left. It was so very clear & really asked for nothing, & it tied up YOUR loose ends, didn't it? At this point, it doesn't really matter what he thinks, it's what you think of yourself. Isn't it interesting; he was hurtful to you, but he hasn't said he was sorry. From the little you've really revealed, I suspect it would be best for YOU if he didn't call back, & you seem fine with that. Book closed. It's very easy to "behave" badly in an emotional issue, but not as easy to say you're sorry. If what you wrote is all you said, there are NO implications that you want him back & you left it with good feelings. Proud of you!
2007-03-18 17:53:11 · answer #1 · answered by Psychic Cat 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If it made you feel better and get some things of your chest it was not stupid. Even if he doesn't call and you feel better for having done so, then that is good. It is always better to be open, communicative and thoughtful. Even after you weren't in the first place.
2007-03-19 00:31:34 · answer #2 · answered by opinionator 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Love and friendship can have their pains and are very tough. When ex-lovers try to be friends, Its even harder. You just have to do what you feel is right and accept the results. I hope it is painless as possible. Good luck! But do what makes you happy. It is not your job to make anyone happy but yourself. But with friends and lovers, the only one that makes a person happy is you , but you can be happy with another person.
2007-03-19 00:33:51 · answer #3 · answered by Psycmixer 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You were right. Hoped you learned from this lesson. We can always be forgiven for hurtful words, but most of the time if it involves a child,it won't be forgotten.
2007-03-19 00:32:35 · answer #4 · answered by Morningstar 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds good. The only warning I'd give is don't expect anything of him one way or the other. If you expect him to forgive, or make up, or anything you may be disappointed. This sort of thing is about clearing your own conscious, and it should not matter what his reaction is.
2007-03-19 00:26:33 · answer #5 · answered by Julian A 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I think the fact that you feel better is a good sign that you did the right thing. Whatever the outcome, you will know that you did what was right and good, and that is worth a lot.
2007-03-19 00:28:19 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
You did the right thing! If he chooses to call you back and talk things through that's great! If he chooses to hold a grudge, then pray for him. As long as he holds the grude it will eat away at him. Unforgiveness holds you captive...
2007-03-19 00:27:53 · answer #7 · answered by btrfli1172 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think it ws a very good idea and mature things to do.
Now the ball is in his court whether or not he also wants to make his amends.
2007-03-19 00:23:49 · answer #8 · answered by Dawn H 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Next! He apparently did not appreciate you and that is probably what went wrong in his previous relationship. He sounds self entered and childish..find someone who appreciates you and that is more mature...Good luck.
2007-03-19 01:53:47 · answer #9 · answered by ShadowCat 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I understand how you felt and no I dont think that you were wrong. Did it make you feel better about your self? I hope it did.
2007-03-19 00:24:28 · answer #10 · answered by karen v 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋