They do not APPROVE?

Question

Hi! I am 20 years old and my boyfriend is 25. We've been best friends for a year and we have been dating seriously for a little over a month. He is the most amazing person to me, and we spend almost every day together. The only problem? He moved to the US from Mexico and doesn't speak English. I speak Spanish and English so we can communicate. The only thing is my family and friends can't communicate with him and they do not like him with me at all. They throw a fit every time I go out with him, and they like to play 20 questions every time. My friends are always very rude to him and my family doesn't like that he has a child and that he doesn't speak English. I understand that these are huge factors, but I love him with all my heart. I am lost and miserable without him and they act like it's no big deal if I just stopped seeing him. He always treats me really well, respects my decision to wait for sex, yet they still despise him. They try to make me feel guilty.

Saying that I don't care how they feel or what they think and that they feel "betrayed." I told them that I can't stop loving him even if there are a lot of obstacles. They told me they are disappointed in me and that just crushes me. They say "you are too good for him" and they make jokes and poke fun at our relationship and that really hurts me. He makes me so happy and I can't imagine being without him. What should I do? I've already tried talking to my family, they have already told me, they will NOT ever accept him as anything more than my friend. :(

Thanks for any advice.

Saying that I don't care how they feel or what they think and that they feel "betrayed." I told them that I can't stop loving him even if there are a lot of obstacles. They told me they are disappointed in me and that just crushes me. They say "you are too good for him" and they make jokes and poke fun at our relationship and that really hurts me. He makes me so happy and I can't imagine being without him. What should I do? I've already tried talking to my family, they have already told me, they will NOT ever accept him as anything more than my friend. :(

Thanks for any advice.

Answer 1

Girlfriend, they probably don't like him because they are "racists". They might be afraid that he could be using you to get papers to stay here.

Maybe alleviate their worries, and tell them that you are planning on using his citizenship and your US money to buy a house in Acapulco.

Seriously, I know it sucks to be outcasted like that. But you know what is right and what is not right.

Also my sister went through the same thing as you are going through. This "illiterate mexican artist" happened to earn around 80 grand a year. My boyfriend at the time was white and had an MA and was such jerk that looking at him would bring tears to even Jesus' eyes.

Her next boyfriend, by the way, met all the social approval standards, white, tall, big deep voice... but rude, loud, drinking, cared mainly about himself.

So stay with the mexican who has some character. Cut your losses.

Best to you.

Answer 2

I think you should tell your friends and family to back off. It's your life and if they don't like it oh well. If he loves you and you love him and he treats you well, that's all that matters, not anyone else's opinion. If your friends can't accept him for who he is then they really aren't your friends to begin with. Because true friends accept you and whoever you are with. Just because he doesn't speak english doesn't mean he's a bad person. So what if he's spanish. Live your life for you and not other people. You can never make everyone happy so why try just make your self happy, after all life is too short to worry about every one else!

Answer 3

There is very little you can do to change their minds. Most people who feel that way do so out of fear and ignorance of other races and cultures. It would probably help if he spoke English but it won't solve the problem. I guess at this point you have to decide if he's important enough to you to alienate your family. If the community the live in is generally in agreement with them it will be an uphill battle all the way.