If we still love each other does it make sense not to be able to make it work?

Question

I am 35, he is 45. We have been together for almost 4 years. No children - no need for them. We have gone through quite a lot together.We have been there for each other.Sex was always good. Different cultures,social and economic status and backgrounds. We found a way to survive differences.The basic staff was there: love and understanding when it came to really difficult staff, we could talk and resolve problems with no fuss. THE PROBLEM WAS that we could not survive daily childish problems.Sometimes I would feel that I am his mother, not his companion.Sometimes went on to be many times and then on to be most of the times. Then fights took over, sex bent over, we broke up. We tried so many times to make peace.Now it's been months we are away.Today I called him, we dine out, he told me how resentful he feels towards me,said:"we both made errors, but I paid for both of us".I asked if it is ok to stay in touch.First he says yes,then no,then he leaves crying.We both did.End of story?Is it?

Answer 1

I think if you are both willing to give therapy a shot you stand a great chance of making a 14 year relationship grow.
The little things you discussed are things that you grow to miss when you are away. You should re-evaluate how you miss him and he you and if the petty things you fought about everyday still make you resentful or if they were just that... "petty"
Good Luck!

Answer 2

hi.. be strong!!! life is not perfect.. there is always ups n downs. You clearly can see what hold both of you together.. but cannot figure out or know how to handle the things which divides both of you.
I suggest both of you or you alone visit a marriage counsellor. Figure things out.All of us do not have all the experience to sort out all of our life problems.Do not give up because of that.You need closure also to move on. So best ask for guidance.They can help both of you think differently.help you figure out yourself what drive both of you apart.
You both need to do this for the lovely four years you spent together.Life is too short! Sort things out for closure n to prevent history from repeating itself.
I feel bad for both of you... both of you are hurting so much..both of you must have something so deep to have emotion like that.. I wish both of you happiness.. n peace within...

Answer 3

I think you should both move on. Sounds very childish and if no children are involved, cut your losses and find someone you can get along with and love. Life is too short to be wasted.

Answer 4

i rarely think anything is ever to broke to fix in a relationship. but if you have already gotten to this point you gotta ask yourself is it worth the trouble to fix. either walk away or figure out a solution like counseling or some compromises. good luck and yes it does make sense to feel that way

Answer 5

ony you know how the story will end.but if you truly want to
be with this man. then both of you need to be honest with
each other once and for all about the problems that you
are having. then you can truly know the best thing to do
but this back and forth is not good for anyone.

Answer 6

You can definitely love someone that is not the right person for you.

Answer 7

Personally, I would move on.

Answer 8

it's easy to love someone, but not be able to make your situation work. it sounds like you guys love each other, but you guys aren't in love. if it's not working between you guys, there's not much you can do. i say you guys should just be friends. it's ok to love him.

Answer 9

Yes Im afraid you have reached the end. Please try to forget and move on for your own good.