I would like only Christians to answer this. Qhat should I do because my husband is committing adultery online

Question

I found out last week that my husband is cheating online!! I have been a FAITHFUL WIFE. I DO NOT BELIEVE IN CHEATING FOR ANY REASON AT ALL!! I didn't think my hubby would ever do this. I was SHOCKED!!! Also, he's supposed to be a Preacher, too. Anyway, Preacher or not, he is supposed to cheat!! So, now I ask, what should I do? I want to do what God would want me to do. But, I CAN NOT & WILL NOT PUT UP WITH CHEATING. I would ALWAYS wonder if he's cheating on me if I stay & we try to work things out. It would be hard to trust him!!! I am confused & hurt by this!!!! I am a good wife, too!!!! I have a Biblical right to divorce him. It is adultery. So, I need Christian advice. I know it's up to me as to what to do. But, a little Christian advice wouldn't hurt.

Answer 1

Sweetie, I'm in the same boat as you. It's been 8 months since I found out my husband has been having an online-phone affair with a woman in another state whom he's never met. Does your husband know that you know he's cheating? If not, you first need to confront him and insist that the two of you go into Christian counseling. If he refuses, then you need to separate from him and get counseling for yourself. I can tell you that it's going to be almost impossible for him to stop this on his own - he needs professional help. What he's doing is committing adultery and you now have the biblical right to divorce him. If you want to try to save the marriage then get counseling, if not, then you have the right to leave. Whether you leave or not according to the bible the elders or deacons of your church need to know what their pastor, your husband, has been doing and he is going to need to be disciplined for what he has done. But, I think the bottom line for you is to find a good Christian counselor for yourself and your husband if he wants to save the marriage.

Answer 2

Its my understanding that adultry would actually be physical contact with another woman or man. You say online so I'm assuming there hasn't been physical contact. However, I do believe what he is doing is wrong and it demeans your marriage and your vows to eachother. More importantly it completely disrespects the woman he loves and vowed to love in front of God. Just as you vowed to love him. Should you divorce over it or whether it is a good enough reason to get a divorce....I don't think so. Your vows are for better or worse.....well this is the worse part. Unless he has physically layed with another person, you should probably work this out. You said your husband is a Preacher, well, he is also a man. Men are sexual creatures and are more sexually aggressive and more visually stimulated. Yes he was wrong, but before you get rid of the husband I would get rid of the computer and find out why he had the need to do it. He obviously feels he is missing something or something is lacking for him. There is a great lack of communication in your marriage that you need to mend....he is stepping out and your are ready to run...something is wrong in this marriage. This may turn out to be a blessing in disguise and may be something that will make your marriage stronger and more satisfying for the both of you. I would definitely seek some Christian Marriage Counseling. I hope this has helped and wish you the best.

Answer 3

He is not supposed to be cheating at all and this is wrong and sinful no matter what way you look at it. Is he sorry for what he has done and is remorseful or not? Has he stopped the cheating or is he still doing so? If he is continuing then in God's eyes you have every right to file for divorce in this case according to the Bible as the Bible does say though shalt not commit adultery. If he is sorry however you have to learn to forgive him and give him another chance and try to make it work if at all possible. I recommend the book The Power of a Praying Wife by Stormie Ormartin for you to read and you can buy this book most anywhere including Walmart and Target i believe. Read it it is really good and helped me alot early on in my marriage when my husband did this same thing to me. Pray to God to help you in this and in your marriage. i also recommend you go to http://www.marriagetoday.org and email them for help in this matter as well. you are in my thoughts and prayers today and my heart goes out to you. I am here to talk if need be as well.

Answer 4

There is no Christan advice because Its not about christians, Its about a person.Life is about oneself. if you belive in christian its good for you but you cant expect your husband to think from your mind. your husband have cheated on you because he dont see what you see. He is only thinking about himself, Hes life and enjoyment. Do you both go to church. Is kids involved. How many women did he cheat on you. You can only make that choose because you can only know if you forgive him will he promise not to do that. Is he relay sorry. Is it worth saving your marriage. If he keeps doing it then is it time for you to move on or save your marriage. Is is abuse. Is he mean, fighter, hits you.See all this you can only answer. If he is nice to you, pays attention to you, take care of the kids, if any if there is a lot of good things and you can balance more good then bad, then save your marriage. Both have to be 100% committed to each other.Ask him what does he see in other women that he don't see in you. I thik people need second chance that doent mean he will not do again. He may be sick in mind too. Pray for him and and dont hurt him other wise you will be no difference from him. If people dont change then change yourself. It doesnt matter if a person is a preacher, doctor, king, lawyer or whaterver, If there put their mind into women or men, Their will do No question about it.

Answer 5

I am a Christian, yes God hates divorce, but for the hardness of our hearts He allows it, only for adultery i believe. What is cheating online? how can it be physical sex? with sex he could give you aids, and that would be like murder. I know you have already prayed, sister; Jesus loves you. As pastor; he needs to step down. We love you. if your husband truely repents, [you would know if he did] i would advise forgive and work at it, but unrepentent continual [true] adultery, no, i would have to leave also or tell him to go, very sorry for this. I knew a Christain woman, her husband would not stop cheating, after many tears and even losing weight from no appetite, she let him file for divorce. She really suffered, but God gave her a peace, now she lives in her small apt. with their child but she is at peace and can smile again.

Answer 6

What sort of "Christian" are you? The really dense kind?

Here's what you said: [a] My husband is cheating. [b] The Bible clearly states that is grounds or divorce. [c] I will not tolerate it. [d] Oh what ever should poor little confused me do?

Either you believe your religious book contains directions for you that you can clearly understand, or it doesn't. If it does, then do what it says!

But no, you want MORE. Imagine your god's frustration with people like you even when you put together a bicycle: "well it says right here in the directions to tighten the screw or else the seat falls off. Oh God, should I tighten the screw? Send me an angel or a sign or a warm burning in my bosom."

blecccch.

Answer 7

There is this book written by James Dobson called "Love must be tough." It talks specifically about that and what to do in those circumstances.
Divorce shouldn't be your first choice, I know it's easier said than done though.
I hope this helps and I pray that God will give you the wisdom to make the right decisions.

Answer 8

If he is having physical contact with these people, I would definatley divorce him. If he is chatting with him, I would give him a chance to go to counseling. Cheating on line is very wrong because your spouse is putting all his sexual energy into something else besides you. Especially if you are alone in bed while he is doing this. There is a chance this can be repaired if he is not meeting anyone.

Answer 9

Pray, think, look into yourself and decide if you can stay with him. "Thou shalt not covet thy neighbor's wife." Some say that their husband's affair is the best thing that ever happened to their marriage... I, on the other hand, would never look at him the same way again and if you can't trust him or respect him... what are you building your marriage on?
Nobody can answer these questions but you.

Answer 10

First of all---was he just looking at naked chicks or did he actually meet up or plan to?
Second---this will always be an issue that comes up if you can't trust him 100%. So, on that note, you have to be honest with yourself: Is it really worth it to stay mrried for the sake of marriage? Only you can answer that.
Is he willing to change? Is he sorry? Do you truly believe he will change?