Was it wrong to do this?

Question

An ex and I ended things very badly. We we were very close. it was special. However, something happened and he became very cold and hrtful to me. Much was involved including a child he had with someone else, before we met. I helped him thru much of this. Anyhow, we exchanged hurtful words and have not spoken in over a month or so. I didn't expect him to call me, although I hoped he would. But everyday, it ate at me, the things I said to him and the way I behaved. So tonight, I called him and I got his voice mail. I left him a message and told him that I was sorry, and that no matter what, as a friend, I only wanted him to be happy and I should have backed away, knowing a child was involved. I will admit he was wrong about much, but there was much confusion involved. I dont know what he thinks, but I feel a sense of relief. Was I stupid? Should I not have called? I also said that I don't expect to hear from him and its ok. And I think I will be, if I never hear from him again. I just

wanted him to know this. After all, I am human.

Thnaks Tary for your response...but do I have to wait for someone to tell me that they are sorry first? Will that make it better? Would it make my life better?

Answer 1

i think that you did absolutely the right thing. if you really said what was written here, then i respect you for admitting your wrongs and telling him that you're sorry. you didn't call begging for another chance, you just wanted to set things right. after this, wait on a response from him. it would only be stupid if you kept on calling him. remember that you apologized...you did the right thing. when you apologize to someone, you have to be prepared for them to not accept your apology. if he doesn't, that's on him.

Answer 2

You did what you felt was necessary to let go of your anger and move on. Nothing wrong with that, at least it shows you do have a conscience and want to make things right. Now that is done don't call back again. He may sooner or later call you to say the same thing. You probably should let your feeling settle before looking for someone else to date. Don't want to rush into anything now. And right now your feeling are still with him. Take your time and let your wounds heal.

Answer 3

Maria - "something happened" leaves the door wide open for a variety of questions. However, calling and attempting to make peace is always a good thing. Perhaps you are learning the lesson that you have no control over the behavior of others - that you always have control over your reaction. If you feel you did the right thing - you did. Go on without regrets, but don't expect him to call. He may just be the stubborn person you can happily live without.

Answer 4

It wasn't wrong plus if a child is involved you have to make things civil for the child's sake!

Answer 5

I guess I have to say I don't think you needed to get that off your chest. It reads to me as if your life has not moved on. I understand that you say you don't feel he has to call back, but I think you would love it if he would. call you back. You both said bad things when you parted, did he call you to say he's sorry.

Answer 6

At least you got what you needed to off your chest so now it won't eat at you anymore. Good for you, this is apart of self healing and now you can move on.

Answer 7

Nope i dont think you were wrong to do it. I think its actually a good thing. It helped get that off your chest and let him know how sorry you were.

Answer 8

you called, that's good, now do not do it again.

Answer 9

No