why do most gay people tend to blame "the community" for their own failures?

Question

(the guy on the pink cap as an example)

i am gay i have worked in a very famous gay club and i can assure that many people base their own unhappiness on "how superficial gay scene is". they said they couldnt find a boyfriend (that being the summum as regards happiness) because the gay scene was superficial and people just wanted to have a one nigh sexual relationship.

i know it has nothing to do with being gay but since there is a gay scene and not a straight scene (we all know what do we refer to when talking about gay scene)

Answer 1

Why do you care?

Answer 2

I don't think that it's only a problem that gay people have. I read a book once called something like "a nation of victims" which had the premise that modern society (In this case the US) had become a nation of victims...Nobody was responsible for their own actions. Nobody would accept the fact that they were the way they were because of their own decisions in life. People tend to always blame someone/thin g else...my parents made me this way...or if only I had more money I wouldn't behave like this......etc etc etc.

Answer 3

I don't consider myself a failure. I don't blame my local community or the gay community for anything in my life. I don't agree with most of what the guy with the pink cap has to say. He speaks for himself. Do not take what the guy with the pink cap says as a summation of the gay people at large. You'd me grossly mistaken to do so.

Answer 4

just how many gay people do you really know...your use of the words, "most gay people" is preposterous. The gays I know, and I am certainly one of them, blame themselves for failures, not others, AND they learn from their mistakes. Perhaps that is why there are so many successful gays out there! They don't stand around and whine about how wronged they were by the boss. Try saying that about many straights!

Answer 5

you're talking about failure to connect in a lasting, loving relationship (as opposed to one-night stand or casual, short sexual fling)? yea they blame the community too much for this. straight people have an equally hard time finding loving, supportive, long-term exclusive relationships. of course there are less of us per square mile, which obviously means our odds of finding "that someone" are that much lower.

Answer 6

I just think he(Ashley) is asking a lot of questions that gay people don't ask themselves or like to think about or don't really talk about it's all very hush hush.But I don't think he's blaming them he's questioning them.Once and a while I feel offended by him I don't know? he might have a problem with being gay himself

Answer 7

Good question. I blame myself, in alot of ways for what my child is going through with GID. I wasnt there for him/her as a child, i was a drunk, and me and his father divorced, he didnt understand it, and i thought it was a phase. As for blaming the community, its better than taking the responsibility for your actions, you have someone to blame when you dont get what you want. Its something to fall back on. Im not judging anyone, but i try to understand.

Answer 8

why is it so hard to get others to break with their denial. why do shrinks and analysts get paid -- to try and break down all the denial and get some back into the real world and out of fantasy land. then there is disney who worked so hard to attract them back into fantasy land. movies, stage shows, race cars, merry go rounds, people just have to have it. life is too hard to bear reality all the time. for some, none of the time.

Answer 9

I just wrote a very long letter to yahoo corperate about the way they let people go on and on bashing us on this site. hopefully that piece of doo doo die gays and the others will go bye bye.

Answer 10

Because society is usually to blame.

Answer 11

its human nature, has nothing to do with being gay