My husband is very selfish, we've been married for almost a year, but it seems that he hardly ever puts me before himself. I don't know what I should do. I have talked to him about it many times and he won't change a thing.
2007-03-18 15:27:15 · 20 answers · asked by Courtney T 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I have told him that I will leave before. He didn't seem too threatened by it. I would like to wait for 5 years at least or something before giving in to divorce but I'm so unhappy.
2007-03-18 15:33:59 · update #1
I had the same problem. I had gotten very selfish and was only thinking about myself, and thought everything was going well, my wife said she was leaving, and she did, took the kids with her. We seperated for about a month. And it worked, it really was the slap in the face that I needed to wake me up. After we got back together, we started going to marriage counceling. It helped alot.
I would suggest if you can, get him into marriage counceling with you. Because there's something that's causing his selfishness and you need to get to the bottom of this if there is any chance of saving your marriage.
2007-03-18 16:00:10 · answer #1 · answered by Bryan M 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
A lot of men are selfish especially during their 20's-40's. For some reason they take a lot of things for granted. It's good to recognize what problems are within a marriage, however, 1 person can't work on this problem. You need to establish what your own needs are, tell him again, and if that's not satisfactory, you need to find other ways for self gratification. The number of years you are with someone doesn't always matter. Are you content to be unhappy for next 5 years?
2007-03-18 15:38:49 · answer #2 · answered by cynthia2817@sbcglobal.net 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sometimes thats just the way it is in the beginning with Men.Dont annoy him more by complaining his ear off! Just calmly and briefly get to the point that you would feel more loved and cherished if he would think of you first in some things even if there small things. Men tend not to like long explanations on every emotions you feel so you might have to tell him several times like this but he'll get it. It takes time to mold to each other.
2007-03-18 15:35:33 · answer #3 · answered by gchic 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Relax. The first year of marriage is the hardest to go. Don't start talking leaving on the first lap of 50 lap race. You're just going through what everybody goes through which is learning how to live together and put each other first b/f yourself. You gotta know what battles to fight and what battles to not fight. Don't sweat the small stuff. Need some details on what's going on to make any firm suggestions other that talk to him and help him understand that you're hurt. Don't start talking walking out, do you want to contribute to the statistics?
2007-03-18 15:58:01 · answer #4 · answered by bigdaddy 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Unless you are going to stand by your words threatening him does no good because he knows you are not going to do anything.Most of us wives are guilty of that.Welcome to the real world of marriage.A husband brings in most of the money and lets not forget he is a man so he thinks that gives him the right to do what he wants with no consequences so unless you are really going to leave him it is something you are going to put up with like the rest of us.
2007-03-18 16:07:04 · answer #5 · answered by Teenie 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
So you married a man you really didn't know...SURPRISE! You should have found out this little tidbit about him before you CHOSE to marry him. Marriage isn't about changing someone. It is about wanting to spend the rest of your life with the person you love as they are...Nope he's not going to change because he was always like this...you just didn't look close enough.
2007-03-18 16:45:31 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you're expecting too much. A year isn't long enough to give up a marriage because he doesn't meet any of your expectations.
Our character doesn't change overnight. It takes time. The best thing for now is to be patient with your man. Learn to understand him. As long as his choices aren't hurting or harming you and your relationship, let him be for what he is.
2007-03-18 15:38:30 · answer #7 · answered by shekinahjireh 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
My 1st husband was like this and I was out of there. I would give him a chance to try counceling first, but if he isn't willing, get the heck out of there! Life is too short! There are many, many wonderful, giving men out there-I happend to marry one and I am very happy!
2007-03-18 18:38:11 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sit him down and tell him that the marriage is 50/50.If he can't do his part and consider you once in a while then it's time to move on.Also why put a time frame on it like five years.Both of you are in it now so try to make the best of it.
2007-03-18 15:38:08 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Divorce.
2007-03-18 15:29:46 · answer #10 · answered by Apollo 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋