I know other people have asked this. I know the best thing would be to leave him alone, but as I said I can't exactly do that. I have to deal with him all the time. He doesn't pay child support and never had a consistant job. We recently started talking again-I really wanted to forgive him and try to be friends-nothing more! Then he lies to me about losing his job-then procedes to tell me he got another one that he didn't. I really had a hard time trusting anything he said before-but now I'm infuriated that after I exuasted myself trying to be his friend for my daughters sake he lies to me. I told him I would appreciate him appologizing to me but he got defensive and started yelling. I want to set a good example since I'm a Christain but I really just want to yell at him. I know this does no good because he doesn't feel any remorse. How do I deal with the constant lying. I really want to call him out on it-when I try to he says well you know everything you tell me!
2007-03-18 15:05:46 · 14 answers · asked by Rachel 2 in Social Science ➔ Psychology
Thank you all for your answers. To those who think he has no rights he does in the state of pennsylvania support and visitation have no effect on each other-two separate things.
2007-03-19 12:32:15 · update #1
~Oh my gosh, it sounds like you're talking about my ex! Seriously, don't have a relationship with him outside of conversation concerning your daughter. Anything more than that is personal and you will more than likely get angry. You already know you can't trust him, don't expect him to change.
Good luck.~
2007-03-18 15:17:12 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think you have some of the answers that you are searching for. However if you continue to stay in this relationship; I will try to confirm some of what you may have already considered.
What level does caring for your daughter in a relationship with dad's lies are you working with in principals that build your daughter's future. Children are much smarter today. She may pick up the cover up my wrong act. You owe her and he owes you the respect of honesty. This child is picking up on everything that has to do with dad , including your disagreements and conversation. My advice is to pray and keep your daughter away from the conversation as much as possible of dad's lack of telling the truth The fruit does not fall far from the tree. GIVE HER MORE THAN WHAT DAD GOT.
2007-03-26 10:48:34 · answer #2 · answered by Marcie 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your "ex?" is very immature. He has serious
issues so he lies to cover up and avoid dealing
with them. If it were me I would avoid any kind
of conversations with him beyond the weather.
There isn't a law that says you have to talk with him. Let him initiate the conversation. Keep your
answers brief and then cut him off. If he becomes
moody just turn your back and walk away. You
don't have to listen either. I would make sure your daughter understands that daddy loves her but he
just has trouble with reality and to not believe anything he says. Get some therapy for the both
yourself and your daughter. Good luck.
2007-03-18 15:22:05 · answer #3 · answered by Precious Gem 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Be civil but that's it. He is still her father and let her know you want the best for her but you are not always happy b/c daddy doesn't always tell you the truth. As long as you feel she is safe with him then you just need to make sure he follows your agreement about times and places to meet with her... other than that, trust is something that is built up over time. He sounds like he is incapable of this.
Be ready for his nonsense and you will probably have to overlook a lot of what he says unless he is promising your daughter things he cannot follow through with. Then you might have to educate her if she is old enough about this matter and let her decide for herself.
Good luck
2007-03-18 15:18:01 · answer #4 · answered by smilingmick 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Some people just have problems with telling the truth, I think its psychological.My childrens father is the same way and is the top reason we are divorcing. It is hard to be safe and secure with a person who lies about small things they will lie about bigs things as well. Deal with him legally as much as possible, he cant really lie to the courts and if so they want him to provide proof. Its unfortunate for all parties involved so I wish you well.
2007-03-18 15:19:12 · answer #5 · answered by ChezNSamMom 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Because he is not paying child support i would say his rights are minimal, and if he is a liar all u have to do is explain your self once and thats it. Being a chrisitain does not mean being a push over..........its about standing up when its necessary. You say you want to be a good example but think about what kind of an example he is making towards his daughter.
2007-03-18 15:24:36 · answer #6 · answered by exceptionallyexceptional 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You will never be his friend. Accept that and move on. What I'd do is deal with him as little as possible but still be "friendly" There is a difference between being "friendly" and being "a friend". Never believe him he won't change. It has nothing to do with you being a Christian. The Christian thing to do is pray for him.
2007-03-18 15:28:02 · answer #7 · answered by SheRa 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
As a Christian you need to pray for him. Let God deal with him. You cannot change him. Therefore, you cannot deal with him. Have as little contact with him as possible.Sounds like you still love him which is why you are having problems letting go. You will have to either accept him as he is and have a
miserable life or let go and move on with your children and have a better life. He is manipulating you. A real man would
step up to his responsibilities .
2007-03-18 15:18:32 · answer #8 · answered by Morningstar 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
"Study" the bible, it seems quite obvious to me as if that you may have looked over a page or two.
His pathological state is only a response to his current state of mind which is in my opinion being currently governed by a fear of rejection. "his situation, you can not identify with it, this is quite normal fore you are not a man"
The concept of what it means to be a father is deep seeded in his mind, he most likely realizes that he can not full fill your expectations and chooses to defend this with his ego.
Whats the case concerning your own honesty regarding your own belief's? Your rejection to him only feeds the scenario. Love him, accept him, pray for him, forgive him, and above all "bring him back home where he belongs!"
Could it be that I just made you angry? "is that really so?" or is it you making yourself angry?
My prayer to you: "may the peace and love of god come to you and your family"
2007-03-26 04:49:51 · answer #9 · answered by Herbert Weigelt 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
sometimes you just have to remove the problems from your life and in this case its this guy. move on with your life until such time he wants to own up to his obligations then you can negotiate visitation of the child. He has no rights until he does.
The best thing you can do for your daughter's sake is to kick this yuk to the curb.
2007-03-18 15:48:47 · answer #10 · answered by Mon-chu' 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋