are you willing to live with your in laws forever? i'm living wit my hus's parents and 20 yr old sister. I understand he wanna help them out, he bought this mobile home, cars, take his parents and sis. to shopping. I spend my own money bcus i want him to save money. I really want to move out but he rejected. I can get any privacy here, his family involve in almost everything. I do love them and I told my husband you can help them in any way you want but as long we have our own family. Just leave everything for ur family and we rent a small apartment near them but he still said no. I do know he put his family on top. He still got hundreds buck in his wallet but still ask my money. All my financial comes from cash aid and foodstamps. He just spend $250 on his parents clothes but all i care is my own family.
thanx
2007-03-18 14:27:10 · 8 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
his sis doesn't make lots of money but she spends a lot and always ask my hus to help their parents. He's paying their car insurance and paid off his dad's car too.
2007-03-18 14:51:28 · update #1
he needs to consider your feelings if he wants you to consider his. tell him exactly how you feel and make sure he's paying attention. and i think finding a place near them is a good idea!
2007-03-18 14:31:47 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Was this the situation before you married him? If so, by saying "I do", it was like saying that you are "okay" with this living situation and should have very little to say about it now. If he had promised before you got married that this would only be temporary, then he has some explaining to do.
(IMHO, he has every right to help out his family if he wants but it sounds as if he is a little co-dependent to me. I have this situation in my family right now. My mom and my 36 year old sister, her husband and 4 kids, and my 33 year old brother all live together. Mom is absolutely miserable right now but I told her that she's an adult and doesn't have to put up with this situation. She feels very guilty when she considers having the family move out, even though she works as hard as a dog to support them. They stopped asking me for money when I told them that my mom should only have to support herself and that my able-bodied brother and brother-in-law should be making enough money for everyone.)
Unless he suggests it, he is not leaving and if you're tired of it, then I would give him an ultimatum: it's either them or me. I hate saying it but you will probably lose that fight.
But before that, I suggest that you all need to sit down, as a family, and maybe come up with some workable solutions. Everyone cannot have their own way but everyone can have some of what they want. I'll keep you all in my thoughts!
Mon :-)
2007-03-18 21:57:08 · answer #2 · answered by santan_cat 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you need to take your money and get an apartment for yourself. He obviously doesn't want to grow up and he's holding you back as well. He might even get the picture once you have moved out and come with you (if he was smart) I don't think you need to keep staying in that situation. it's not healthy for you. Move out, with or without him.
2007-03-18 21:32:53 · answer #3 · answered by engineer46526 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Speak to him again about your thoughts and share with him your ideas. Try to convince him that you need to be "a family" to your own and there is no privacy. Hope he gets the message.
2007-03-18 21:34:18 · answer #4 · answered by Ashley 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why don't people talk about this stuff before they get married? You should have your own house but he isn't planning on doing that. If you really want out, leave, he may come to you but don't count on it
2007-03-18 21:33:03 · answer #5 · answered by greenfrogs 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
he has to choose - he simply has to choose.....to continue to do what his own father should be doing - or begin to take care of his own family. his 20 yr old sister should be out trying to take care of things for her parents as well. let her handle some of this....
2007-03-18 21:48:49 · answer #6 · answered by Virgo 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Jesus says to leave your parents, and cleave to your spouse and become one ,pray he will help you and have faith in min, he loves you!
2007-03-18 21:54:36 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to get your own place to live. And do me a favor.............................................................. GET OFF OF PUBLIC ASSISTANCE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
2007-03-18 22:27:55 · answer #8 · answered by elnino4 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋