How do you deal with shift work?

Question

My husband works shift work. He rotates shifts evey week - days, midnights, evenings - and so on. I work straight days, but sometimes it's mon to fri and other weeks it's tues to sat. It feels as though we never see one another, when we do our bodies are on different clocks, we can't get anything done around the house because one or the other is sleeping or watching our daughter. He can't quit his job, and he doesn't want to. He enjoys it, he makes very good money, but it feels as though our relationship is suffering due to it. I would never want him to quit, I do appreciate how hard it is to change your sleeping habits every week. I just want to know how other people have made it work. Sometimes I feel like a single parent and we both get frustrated with our lack of communication due to not seeing each other very often.

It's not about meeting my needs, it's about keeping our relationship alive. I'm not wanting to control what he does at all, and I'd like for our marriage to be the best it can. I'm not asking anything of him, he enjoys his job, and I'm happyhe does. I want ideas on how to keep up communication and a little excitment.

Answer 1

Wow thats alot to figure out in one paragraph! But have no fear it can be done. I am the husband in this situation per say I too work shift work on a rotating schedule. My wife also worked days and her schedule would shift one or two days a week.

Now what I would say is this, there are a few programs out there that infact teach couples how to live like this. Many companies offer it as a training program to there shift workers. There is way to much info in it to even touch the tip of the ice berg here in this answer but i will try.
Eating, sleeping, exercise, behavoral, relationships, family, circadian rythym, amongst 30 other factors all come into play.
i have provided a few links but please explore there are so many good ideas out there.

if you want more help email me [e-mail]

good luck / HR Manager

Answer 2

It's going to take a little time, but you bot hcan do it.

Make dates. On the days you have off together, do things together as a family--go to the zoo, the park, whatever. In the evenings get a babysitter and take a date. In a little while take a family vacation today, or better yet drop your daughter off at Grandma's and go on a second honeymoon.

It's going to be frustrating, but the best thing you can do is to just know that this won't last forever, you're doing the best you can to provide for the family, and you relationship will stay together if you two cherish the time you spend together.

Talk to him. Keep a journal that you both write in. Leave little notes for each other--just do SOMETHING for each other!

Answer 3

I also work shift work 7-3. My girl works 3-11. I stay up late and wait for her to come home. I come home during the day to have lunch with her. Get it? You have to see the angels in your life and make a situation out of nothing

Answer 4

Unfortunately many people let their careers take precedence over their families (relationships).
As you pointed out your husband has made a choice to stay in that job which he enjoys and is successful at.
It's up to him to decide if you and your daughter are more important to him.
All you can do is voice your concerns.
If he doesn't respond well you have the choice to live in a strained relationship or move on.
Good luck
Cheers!
;-)

Answer 5

Hang in there...it's a tough road ahead, but it'll get better. He's working to take care of you guys- just remember that part first. He's doing what he has to right now. I think the only thing to do is to remind him that you appreciate the hard work and the reasons for doing what he's doing, but that you also need to (when you Have the time) make it quality time when you are together........

Answer 6

I worked shift work for several years ,no longer now. I hated it the money was good but your married to the company , no life.
Ask him to consider looking for a day job even if it is less money he will thank you after everything is settled.

Answer 7

http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index;_ylt=AtsRNQJmSHN48dy.d1PJhmzsy6IX?qid=20070318172529AAa3vtg

my point exactly







you aren't in control therefore your needs aren't being met.