my little girl made my day but its my 34th birthday 2 and my bf is being really horrible to me we av bin 2gethar 4 11yrs and e just sed e wan me to go we av ad few probs with him cheating in past but e takes drugs and es being horrid and hurtfull and im really upset i must be bloody stupid to put up with him. but i need cheering up coz im feeling really low.
2007-03-18 14:22:14 · 5 answers · asked by haze 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
sweetheart, throw him out. then go find the nearest sexiest guy you can find and give him a snog.
that will put a smile on your face.
failing that how about a little retail therapy?
you have the best gift in life you can ever have your daughter.
remember this, there are better guys out on the market than your current one. so if he has been like this for a while it is time you got rid of him.
how about taking your daughter on a holiday, say to somewhere on the UK coast (at least if money is tight, you do not have to spend a fortune).
if your parents are still around how about making arrangements with your mom to babysit while you go out for a night and have some fun and may be meet someone new.
i wish i knew a way to cheer you up, because it sounds like you have been through hell and are still trapped in it. you need help to get out of hell.
i pressume your drug addict is your daughters father? if so then i guess at the back of your mind you have been telling yourself that you are staying with him for her benefit at the neglict of your own sanity.
sorry i know this may not be cheering you up and i appologise for that. but you have to get him out of your life and your daughters before she is old enough to figure out how to copy her dads bad drug habit. to be frank if he is the kids father then how can he do drugs and risk overdosing when he has a partner who loves him and a daughter.
this is not your fault, it is the conditioning of our social upbringing that we stick around even when the chips are down as they say.
as for cheering you up i would not know where to begin, i do not know you and so anything i suggest could make you feel better or worse. i could try telling a joke or two, but i'm no comedian and i'd have to look up a few.
happy birthday and mothers day to you!! may this be the only one that is as bad as it has been so far.
if you want to talk my email in box is always open either by my profile or on my own home mail server: y!answers@
garylsmith1973.homeip.net (no space after the @ symbol in the actual address).
if the home is in your name and not his you can have the police eject him and his belongings from the home. they will help you but you will have to go to your nearest police station and ask for help. and to arrange a date and time when they can call to assist you in removing him.
remember this not all guys are as selfish and as mean as he is. so get rid of him and move on to someone who will love and treat you and your daughter how you want, need and deserve to be treated.
in the mean time, go to the video rental and get your favourite movie now put it in and be selfish for the duration of the film and relax. after kicking the guy out and locking the door so even with his key he can not get back in. and make sure you tell your daughter that for the duration of the film the door and phone should not be answered. unplug the phone and the computer.
good luck.
2007-03-18 14:49:46 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Don't stay with him just because it's become a habit and after 11 years you can't quite remember how to pick people up (if that's why you're with him), because that's a REALLY big mistake. Just because you've been going out for longer is no excuse for him to become nastier or horrid. If you would have dumped him for behaving this way after you'd been going out one year, dump him now. If you wouldn't, get help on co-dependency problems.
2007-03-22 06:13:15 · answer #2 · answered by Insomnia 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
hiya
sorry i didnt see this on mothers day
my ex and father of my 2 eldest girls was a drug&booze addict who was a mind control freak, horrid to me, a bully, mentally emotionally and occasionally physically abusive.
when my eldest was 5 she started running in the middle of us when he shouted at me to try and distract him.
at this point i realised it was NOT better for them to be around their father when he is NOT a positive role model.
we left.
BEST decision i ever made! my girls cheered up and gradually their cowed, scared expressions disappeared, tho they stil have self exteem issues even 7 years on, and they have a step dad and a 2 year old sister now which is lovely for us all!
when you are under their 'control' its so hard to see how it can change or what they might say or do.
but you are a mother now and you must be strong for her sake.
call womens refuge, call the police, call your family. they will all help you , and be happy to do so.
i was embarrassed at 1st with my family, but i needn't have been as they were so relieved for my sake and my kiddies that they were the most supportive and helpful ever!!
with their help we have moved on. i retrained and got a new job, mum looked after kiddies when i was at college. but there are loads of colleges etc with a creche or free childcare, either attached to college or nearby to help you move on.
you need to give your daughter positive images and events so her memories are happy.
i'm so sorry you had a shitty day, but if you need any help or advice, please email me.
i hope you ok and can summon the strength to move away from this spiteful; bully, who prob makes you feel like its all your fault..theyre good at that...but it isnt and you CAN leave him.
he may change and get a grip and transform himself, but that WONT happen til you've left and i doubt it will happen at all.
dont let him ruin your lives, let him ruin his own.
my ex said he loved the girls very much, but guess what?
he visited once and once gave me £50 quid for them.
not seen him since.
some dad eh?
be brave and strong, youre a beautiful person with lots of love to share and a happy life ahead of you and a lot to give others.
once you've moved on, get counselling, it really helps. that way you can shed old habits and negativity so that when you're ready, you'll meet a decent caring man.
i wish you lots of luck. email me if need to
big huge hugs to you and your daughter.
xxx
2007-03-21 20:28:48 · answer #3 · answered by hedgewitch 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
hi haze!
throw him out! or drag him to the doctors to get them to sort it out, confront him and mean what you say, at the end of the day you deserve better!!
and if its any consolation im not having the best of days either! my kids have been BRATS all day!
2007-03-18 14:27:09 · answer #4 · answered by alaniss2 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hey you, don't be blue.
Thats my job, lol
Happy mothers day wishes to you. Sending ya posative mental vibes hun.
Big ups, its your day so don't let anything spoil that.
2007-03-18 14:36:00 · answer #5 · answered by Whatever. 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
leave him dont let him treat you like this plus its not a good enviroment for your little 1 if he takes drugs he might get nasty with her,LEAVE HIM U CAN DO BETTER
2007-03-18 22:42:39 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋