my thirteen year old daughter went to the "movies" with her boyfriend, but apparently she had sex with him and now she is 3 months pregnant and I was going to kick her out but now she is pregnant with twins non-the-less and i don't know what to do! HELP!?!?!?!?
2007-03-18 14:20:21 · 31 answers · asked by Anonymous in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Adolescent
You shouldn't kick her out because they will be your grandchildren...maybe take her to some counseling.
2007-03-18 14:24:27 · answer #1 · answered by gEt In ThE cAr [DaRnIt] 5 · 2⤊ 1⤋
This is obviously not a situation you or your daughter wanted to be in. The best thing you can do is support your daughter, make sure she knows that what she did was wrong but in a kind way (she has probably already realized this). If you kick her out than she and her twins will be in danger. She is only 13 years old (not old enough to work). I think you should set certain rules with her now. What she needs to pay for... her schooling...adaption options... etc.
I think the most important thing you can do right now is support your daughter and make sure she knows that you love her.
Good Luck!!!
2007-03-18 21:46:50 · answer #2 · answered by sportsfreak4732@sbcglobal.net 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hmmm...assuming she is not going to be aborting the children.
Step one...she cares for the child(ren). You and her mother are not built-in babysitters. She is also going to be attending school, and will be expected to keep her grades up.
Step two...the father is facing criminal and civil complaints if you want to be a anally retentive pr-head about it and go that route...the criminal being statutory rape (at a minimum), facing a sentence of a couple years if he is of comparable age, to 10+ if he's more than a few years older. The civil complaint is the child support he's going to be paying for the next 18+ years. Incidentally...where are he and HIS parents going to find the minimum $5,000 (half of the $10k for twins) a year for child rearing that children under 5 and over 12 cost per year?
If you want to kick her out...do it. Pack a bag and ring the bell at the home of the father's parent's home, and drop her off on their door step, telling them that she is THEIR problem now. It's happened before...some parents have doe this with their daughters, but one thing to keep in mind - she's 13...it COULD be stretched to criminal child abandonment. Once she's 16 now...she's fair game. If you're still seriously considering this option...sit down with a lawyer and talk to him about how you can legally do it. It would likely have something to do with disowning her, and giving her up to the state. That would, however, permanently cut you off from her and the children.
In any case...SEE A LAWYER!
In today's world, I can *almost* guarantee that the parents will NOT want to pay "your little $lut one red cent!" It's HER fault she got pregnant, because she seduced their "innocent little angel."
And some people wonder why I think Sex Ed should be manditory in grade 6, with additional detail in 7, 8, and 9.
2007-03-18 22:05:53 · answer #3 · answered by jcurrieii 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
honestly, I really doubt your ability to parent in the first place if you are asking this sort of question on a website like this.
This sort of situation should be instinctual. She is your child, still a minor, YOU TAKE CARE OF HER, perhaps better than you were taking care of her before since she managed to get pregnant while under your watch.
I am sorry to be so black and white and to the point, but there are two babies on the way, in less than 6 months.
Just do the right thing and care for these THREE CHILDREN and stop asking questions about it on a website like this.
PS Abortion is very traumatic, particularly late term abortion. It is far more traumatic than actually carrying the children to term and allowing them to enter into the world.
So I really hope that you will encourage her to, at the very least, continue to care for the babies inside of her, who currently have no voice of their own, but are depending on her to help them continue growing.
Then she can, if you both still feel ill-equipped, gift the children to a better equipped mom and dad who have been crying rivers for years over the fact that they could not have children of their very own.
When your daughter is older, and has to face, from an adult perspective what it is that she has done, she can be at peace with herself, knowing that she didn't kill her babies, but instead did a far more noble and courageous thing by gifting them to another mommy and daddy.
2007-03-18 21:32:57 · answer #4 · answered by NONAME 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Do not kick your child out. She is just as confused and hurting as you are. She needs your love and support now more than anything.
Where would she live? No place I know of would rent to a thirteen year old, even if she is pregnant.
2007-03-18 22:46:43 · answer #5 · answered by thereligiousrightisneither 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
She needs your support now more than ever. The best thing she can do for herself and for her babies is to put them up for adoption. There are so many wonderful couples/families that can give those babies everything that she can't. She can't even legally work, how will she raise them? Oh wait, she has us to buy their diapers and formula and pay their doctors bill. Statistics say that if your daughter keeps these babies she will not graduate high school, much less go to college, she will spend the rest of her life relying on the government to support her, therefore her children will learn the same thing and the cycle will continue. I'm sure as a mother you want more for your daughter and grandchildren. Please do whats best and help her understand whats best for her and her babies.
2007-03-18 21:34:53 · answer #6 · answered by nursejen 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why the h*ll would you have even considered kicking her out? What kind of a mother are you? You should support her. She made a mistake, now she has to deal with it. She needs your love and guidance, not your hate and critisism. The road ahead is long and winding. Be patient and LOVING.
PS you can't MAKE her get an abortion as someone so kindly suggested. However, let her know that that is an option as well. BE KIND LOVING AND SUPPORTIVE.
2007-03-19 00:23:50 · answer #7 · answered by Samantha 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well kicking her out is a horrible idea. first you need to decide if you want her to have the babies. shes only 3 months so abortion is still an option if you are ok with that. if you want her to have the babies then looking into adoption would more than likely be the way to go. if you are going to keep the twins for her (you) to raise you need to get a hold of the boy, take him and his parents to court and order them to make him pay child support. id also get your daughter on birth control immediately after she has the babies. good luck, i dont envy you.
2007-03-18 21:49:04 · answer #8 · answered by beautifulbunny0286 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well you need to be open minded about all of this. do not jump the gun and kick her out she is only 13 years old where will she go. she needs her mom especially right now(she might tell you otherwise but she does)Everyone makes mistakes some of those mistakes we can not change nor take back and we have to live with them. i understand this might be a stressful time for you but think about her and her feelings. she is 13 going to have not 1 but 2 babies and she is just a baby herself. it might be a different story if she was older but she is still a baby herself. God would not have put you in this situation if he did not have plans for you. Please be there for her as hard as it might be and help her out. she is your little girl and you want her to be safe and if she is not home with you you will have to worry about her and where she is and that will be harder on you then you think. take it easy and take it day by day. times will be hard that is no lie but stick through it you will be OK.
2007-03-18 21:31:01 · answer #9 · answered by tammy_martin22 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You cannot kick a thirteen year old girl out. She is your daughter and you cannot give up on her.Thats the easy way out. Whats done is done and now you have to help her decide if she wants to keep her babies or give them to a family that would love, take care and is finacially stable. I do not believe abortion should be an option.
2007-03-18 23:20:59 · answer #10 · answered by princess 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
no matter what ur her mother, and a 13 year old girl should not be kicked out of the house, let alone kicked out by you her mother......i know from experiance, i was 17 when i ran away from home, and it was NOT easy trying to figure out where i was going to stay or what i was going to do next a week past and i came home....... its way to hard... and for a 13 year old i know that it would be even worse... as her mother u are suspose to be there for her no matter what, love her no matter what, and take care of her.......... it would be wrong of u to kick her out, and as soon as those children come into her life she will have to grown up VERY quickly and alls that u can do is be there to help her, show her the way.........
2007-03-18 21:30:21 · answer #11 · answered by fAtBoYz BaByGuRl 4 life 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋