My husband was very sick this week, he missed work starting Wednesday, and he never calls in. By Thurs night my daughter started getting a fever and I knew she was getting what he has. His mom offered to watch her during the day so I could still go to work, which I really appreciated. I knew my husband was staying home again but completely understood that he had no energy to watch our daughter.
His mom asked where he wanted her to watch my daughter, and he told her to take her to their house. Poor girl was so sick, all she wanted was to sleep and cuddle with mommy (who felt terrible about leaving her, but hubby doesn't have paid sick time, so one of us had to work), and be around her toys and bed and everything. He didn't even consider she would feel better at home his concern was him getting enough "rest" and that she'd want to see him if she was home with him. Is it wrong of me to feel as though he put himself before her needs?
2007-03-18 13:52:14 · 25 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Maybe I should elaborate. My mother-in-law was watching her, no question, not my husband. We have a 2 storey house, he didn't leave his bed - on the 2nd floor. If his mom had watched her a our house, she wouldn't have been around him, all he had to do was close the door and she wouldn't ever have known he was home (she's not quite 2)
2007-03-18 14:03:21 · update #1
And, yes, I asked him to let her stay at home, he got angry with me. Yes, I know he was sick, yes he's a huge baby when he's sick, but even if I was sick I would put my daughter before how was feeling. He would have gotten enough rest, and he had the whole weekend to recover, too.
2007-03-18 14:05:31 · update #2
I don't know if you agree with this, but I think, being a mother myself...when I am sick - I have to tough it up and take care of the kids, the house, the cleaning, and still go to work. Somehow us moms see it through - sounds to me like there are underlying issues here.....if he was extremely sick - there would be no question to have your daughter stay at her grandma's house. But you mention he was being a big baby. We have something in common here....when the dad gets sick - the whole world is coming to an end and all of a sudden they lose the ability to talk,walk, or lift a finger. I'm not sure what to tell you on this one.......just be there for your daughter and compensate for the lost time as best you can...
2007-03-18 14:37:27 · answer #1 · answered by Virgo 4 · 2⤊ 1⤋
O.K. I can see both points of view. But give the guy a break, your Mom's there, he's sick. I admit it I'm a baby when I'm sick. Those days are very few and very far between. It's nice to have at least one day to stay in bed when you don't feel good. I'd wouldn't get upset with him so much.
2007-03-18 15:34:02 · answer #2 · answered by bigdaddy 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Actually I think your husband acted in the best interests of your baby he is sick the house is o\full of sickness. By him asking Grandma to take her to there house she is in a better germ free environment. With your baby's age when sick they can be cranky,whiny and crying alot so Dad wanted some rest to get over his cold. I would not be surprised that your child liked spending time with Grandma and he was able to get the rest to recuperate and get back to work. Be thankful that he was also thinking of his mom and he would have felt
awful if he had given her his cold. Do not be angry at your hubby he is at no fault your child was safe and sound and he is probably feeling better.
God Bless and think this is just something to stupid to get stressed out over.
2007-03-18 14:12:47 · answer #3 · answered by Livinrawguy 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Protective mama bear, it's only natural to feel that way, but sometimes men have a more rational way of looking at things. He may have felt that he wasn't in any condition to care for her properly, and knew he needed rest to to get better and get back to work since he knows he doesn't have sick time, and knew you were doing it on your own. When it comes down to it, as a mother you are on your baby's side irregardless of anything, and men sometimes aren't capable of understanding that. And besides when men are sick some of them can be huge babies themselves.
2007-03-18 14:05:14 · answer #4 · answered by Vegas 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have a husband and a son, they are both pathetic when they're sick (they sleep, whine, totally useless,think they're dying and want to be left alone).
I'm not surprised by his lack of caring and I'm sure if it was at all possible, he'd have his Mom look after him too. Some men are just pathetic when they're sick so I wouldn't be too angry with him. Men just don't have that nurturing quality and would rather just be left alone.
If anything, she would probably be looked after better at Grandma's than left with Dad. Men, are truly pathetic when they're sick themselves.
2007-03-18 14:07:46 · answer #5 · answered by trojan 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I wouldn't make a big deal about it. If he was really sick and wasn't being paid while he was off it was important that he recover so that he could get back to work. Your MIL was gracious in saying she would keep your daughter. I understand where you are coming from that she would have been more comfortable in her own surroundings but sometimes we have to make sacrafices in life. This one was one of those. In order to keep money coming in the door you had to go to work, you also had to get your husband well, and your daughter needed to be cared for. Everything was in its place for this to happen. Apologize to your husband for making a stink about it and thank your MIL for stepping in to help out.
Good luck!
2007-03-18 14:30:25 · answer #6 · answered by Raspberry 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Honey this has gone on for years. It's right up there with if men could have children there would be far few babies born in the world. Men just can't hack it. However trust your gut and tell him to suck it up. If your daughter is sick she should be able to stay in her own home and bed.
2007-03-18 14:11:17 · answer #7 · answered by Lisa D 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
yes I would be a bit upset.....but more at him getting angry because she wanted to stay home....I think your mother-in-law could have handled the situation if she wanted to upstairs to see daddy.....and if it got too bad....then she could have taken the child to her house.....you husband needs to grow up and understand that there is a little one that is more important than either of you.whether you are sick or not. I am sure that he really didn't feel good at all......but the point is ..... is that he should not have gotten angry at you because the little girl wanted to stay home.
2007-03-18 14:17:42 · answer #8 · answered by mrs_endless 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I'm sorry for judging, but as a parent myself, my wife or I when sick still took care of our own kids when they were sick at the same time. I grew up in a different generation where your kids were your own responsibility not something handed off to grandparents. A parents job is always tough, but when you make children it's your responsibility to take care of them. Your husband should have kept her at home and cared for her himself.
2007-03-18 14:04:57 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, he was sick, he wants to get some rest! When you have a sick child and your husband is sick, he's not going to get better because he doesn't have time to relax. It was nice that his mom offered, and he took up the opportunity. I wouldn't even think about being mad.
2007-03-18 14:00:53 · answer #10 · answered by SillyKimmie 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋