My partner of 6 years broke up with me. I have relocated states to be with him (after he initially did it for me) and he had been snappy for a while, then he said i wasnt making him happy anymore! I am intotal shock. I asked him if he was still in love with me, and he shook his head. We were building a house, so i dont know if that threw him off, scared him about the future, and i know there is not someone else, but its so hard for me now I have to pack up, split our assets and move home. Every single person I talk to including his family reckon he is making a huge mistake, and he left me for 5 days to try and work things out, but he had already made up his mind, and NOW he tells me it was selfish. We have been through so much, you wouldnt believe. Im completly shattered and heartbroken. Can anyone help me?!
2007-03-18 13:26:33 · 6 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
Is it really true that absence makes the heart grow fonder? Why is he mad at me for wanting to talk about stuff now that we are over. He said he will get angry if i continue to think that he still loves me, and that he has not thought it through. What does that mean? please be honest.
2007-03-18 13:31:19 · update #1
You won't want to hear this, but I've learned it the hard way: If he tells you he doesn't love you, believe him. If he tells you he doesn't want to stay together, believe him. If he tells you he has made up his mind, believe him. A lot of women, myself included, think a man is "scared" to commit, when in reality, they just don't want to. Please don't waste years of your life trying to convince someone to love you back. It isn't worth it, and doesn't work. It doesn't matter that you've already invested 6 years with this guy -- he has made up his mind. Women need to learn when to give up and move on. I wasted 7 years of my life on someone, waiting for him to "realize that I was the one". It has taken me this long to see what a fool I am. Please don't let that happen to you too.
2007-03-18 13:50:26 · answer #1 · answered by jenn_x_1 2 · 2⤊ 1⤋
I'm sorry for your heart ache
but really you have to move on
you can't talk him into loving you
if he loved you he would not have left you
just split all the stuff & end it (the relationship )
don't phone him ever again
don't make a fool out of yourself
husbands/wifes etc leave each other after 30 or 40 years of marriage!!
humans are very selfish people at times & if you aren't fussing over them making out they are the most precious thing in the universe etc & making them feel terrific
they may leave you
& that is so sad
but move on honey you will get over the pain in a few years
do some volunteer work it will help you through your grieving
take care
2007-03-18 14:24:39 · answer #2 · answered by ausblue 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
As sad as this seems, consider yourself lucky. He could have strung you along, and then told you this after you had given up much more. Be thankful that he was honest with you. If he told you that he does not love you anymore, believe him. Maybe he has his own growing pains, but it takes a lot for him to be so brutally honest with you. Moving in together, building a house, probably snapped him to reality and he realized that he is not ready for this commitment. You also cannot definitively say that he has no one else. At least you have your family to take you in. Many others before you have done the same. You are in pain right now but in time you will grow stronger and you will even be able to look back and laugh at yourself for allowing him to hurt you so much. Give yourself time to regroup and don't close your heart to love. One day, someone else will give you all the love you deserve.
2007-03-18 13:50:25 · answer #3 · answered by bombastic 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
8 months ago the same thing happened to me. For a while we were not getting along, everything I did was wrong, everything I said I was wrong, it was like I couldn't please him. He finally told me that he wanted someone else, but he told me that he wasn't seeing anyone else. We had broke up a couple of times before but it never really last more than a week, but this time I found out a month after we split he was seeing someone else, but now they have split and he wants to be friends. Well I get over things really quick but I still have feelings for him. I can be friends with him but I don't think I can be anymore than that. He had been with someone else and that just finished it for me. Breaking up hurts really bad but try to keep busy and have your family and friends with you. It will help a lot.
2007-03-18 13:38:00 · answer #4 · answered by Nan of Many 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I can't help you feel better, only time can do that and possibly meeting someone that really loves you, but I don't understand so many people moving in with somebody without a commitment. If you are building a house together or buying a house, get married first; if he won't do that, it's not a good gamble that he will stay with you.
2007-03-18 13:30:31 · answer #5 · answered by supertop 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
he mean's that if you haven't gottne it then let me tell you that he DOESNOT WANT TO BE WITH YOU ANY LONGER so it best that you move on and ut your lostes now befor you mess up and had a child with this JERK. so just get over him any way you can and i wish you all the luck. and on the by to by DON'T EVER RELOCATE FOR A PIECE OF D*** stay on your TURFF and let the D*** come to you ..
2007-03-18 13:42:34 · answer #6 · answered by nikki 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋