Should I go or stay?

Question

My husband of 5 years keeps on physically, verbally and emotionally abusing me from time to time for every small reason he gets. He has no respect for me and the only reason I stayed this long is for my 2 year kid. But now it is getting intolerable and I just want to leave. He says that he may beat me but I should always come back to him , and start staying normally again. He says he will never say sorry or make the effort of patch up, that is what I have to do if I have to stay in his house. Kindly advise should I put up with this behaviour for the sake of marriage?

Answer 1

NO WAY! You needed to have left him yesterday! LEAVE!

Answer 2

Being an Abuse Survivor I totally understand where you are comming from, he has probably threatened if you leave he will do this or that, Believe me they NEVER stop hitting you once they start, I know he has drug your self confidence down so low you probably think you cant make it without him, or no other man will have you..But hes WRONG.. Ok there is someone out there for everyone, and in the long run he will be the one alone, You cant put up with it anymore. He is mentally damaging YOU and your child. The physical abuse and the mental abuse no one should ever put up with it for the sake of their child or anything else, I dont care if you only have a dime to your name there are places you can get help and there are people that WILL help. If your serious and have had enough of his ways then you need to get out, Id hate to read in tomorrows paper that you were killed because of a man that cant control his temper, You can call the Police to have him escorted off the property with a suitcase of his belongings, of course they wont get involved if he has not just hit you..BUT there are domestic violence shelters that will help you and you dont have to of been just beat up..They will help you out of the situation and they will give you a tempory place to live and child care so you can get a job to make money to be on your own, they will help you with clothing, food, shelter, childcare, support groups and restraining orders. They put these in place so women dont have to be affraid to leave abusive men. IF its your house or a joint house he would have to leave and if the utilities are in his name dont worry if you get a restraining order on him he will not be allowed to turn the utilities off till all of this is settled. Phone, cable, water, rent, everything is his responsibility IF ITS in HIS name. Dont wait another day..CALL the police department and get some help today.. They will help.

Answer 3

In this case you should go and get out ASAP and as soon as you can pack your stuff and get out. Do not hang around and put up with it anymore. He has not right to be physicallyl abusing you at all in the first place. When you get out and leave then get an order of protection against him and do not go back or look back. File for divorce and move on with your life. Stop choosing to stay a victim to him and his abuse and then become a survivor and better person without him in your life anymore. You will be a better person for it trust me. I am here if you need someone to talk to as well. Go to a safe house if need be and whatever you do do not contact him again except for divorce reasons only through a lawyer and do not let him know where you are at or living for that matter. You will need to cut all ties with him. You should never have put up with this in the first place hon. I also suggest you go to http://www.drphil.com and email him for help and advice in this matter. Here comes lots of hugs for you today and i sure hope you find the courage and strength you need to get out and away from this situation. You do not deserve this at all. My heart and thoughts go out to you today and here comes lots of hugs for you. Make a plan to leave and pack your stuff and get out when he is not at home and do not leave a note either. JUST LEAVE NOW!

Answer 4

First I would like to say thank you for adding me to your network list. :)

Ok, now for the question at hand. I do not think, by any means you should ever have to put up with that. Leave immediately. You will feel better about yourself and your path in life after a while. I had the same problem with an ex, she was drunk almost daily, she would hit me, and verbally abuse me. I had to get myself out of that situation, and I think I am a better person for doing it.

Get out of the situation fast, for your sake and for your child.

Answer 5

I am sorry for what you are going through, but you have to understand that you have that right to protect yourself and your kids from a mad man. How is it by staying with someone like that, that you are going to teach your kids that it is okay to behave like that?

He doesn't care about your feelings or your kids. No, you should not have to get this kind of treatment from him if he is abusing you. You are a mother should protect yourself and your kids and do what it takes to get to another place where it is safe. No woman should be treated like that. Your husband needs some help.

If you don't leave, you might be putting you or your kids in great danger. So, do the right thing for your kids. If you need to talk more, feel free to email me.

Also, do find a close relative or women's shelter to go to. They will help you. You have to be willing to want their help.

Answer 6

Unless you want your child to think this kind of behaviour is acceptable, then you should LEAVE. Remember, your child is learning from the both of you and will either become an abuser or will one day accept being abused. What do you want for your child?
Marriage is about loving and respecting each other. Sounds like you don't have much of either. Save yourself. Save your child.

Answer 7

My advise is to get out ASAP! It never gets better, only worse. I was in an abusive relationship many years ago. He started out by emotionally abusing me. It escalated into physical abuse. I endured it for 3 years. When I finally came to my senses and got out, I went back to our place to pick up my stuff, and he was in a closet hiding (he was supposed to be at work) and he jumped out and raped me at knife-point. An abusive relationship only gets better if you get out of it.. otherwise it will continue to go on, and will only get worse. Take your baby, and go somewhere safe. Do not let on that you are going to do this for both of your safety. Contact the authorities . Be strong and do what is best for you and the baby! God Speed!

Answer 8

Staying in an abusive marriage for the sake of your child, what are you teaching your child about how adults should interact with each other, you should be saying I got out of the marriage for the sake of my child and not the other way around.

Answer 9

Children learn by example. Do you want your son to become your husband? HE WILL. If you stay you are the most selfish person in the world. If you care about your son at ALL....you need to call the police and have them escort you into the home to pack your stuff and leave. Leave everything. Start new.

Answer 10

Staying in a physically abusive relationship will harm you and the kid in the long run.

Time to cut loose the emotional blackmailer.

Answer 11

NEVER stay for your child. If you're unhappy, they're unhappy. I thought about staying in my marriage for the sake of my 2 year old.....................best thing I ever did for the two of us, was file for divorce. You need to be happy. By the way, you should never have to put with any sort of abuse. Good luck to you.