Last September my wife got a new friend. They go out to parties together (I'm never invited). My wife tells everyone she's single. I tell everyone I'm married. She was with him till 2am so I called her as I was worried. She came in all angry saying that I spoiled her night. I was curious and puzzled so I checked her e-mail and I found a letter where Richard said that if he didn't see her for a week that he would DIE. I know friends don't talk like that. I wrote back stating that he can be a friend and go out with her with my best wishes but that she was my wife and I'd break his arms if he screwed her. I told my wife this very calmly and she went nuts and demanded a diviorce. She says that I'm crazy for doing this and that I could go to jail. She says that I am controlling for trying to prevent her from having friends. This is the first time I've ever spoken to any of her 'friends'. And I thought she was my wife and that I meant something to her. Am I crazy, controlling?
2007-03-18 12:49:41 · 23 answers · asked by honesty_counts 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
If she tells everyone she's single you have a problem anyways. I don't think you went over board. I think you are concerned and with good reason. I don't think she is being straight up with you. She want a divorce then you should. Apparently she has forgotten what marriage is all about. It's defiantly not hangin out with guys until 2 am. Sorry but it's a lost cause.
2007-03-18 13:24:44 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, you sound like you've been patient, and put up with a lot more crap than a lot of husbands would, because you love your wife. Your wife, on the other hand, sounds like she's using this situation to make it seem like you've done something wrong, something she can blame on you. It gives her a "reason", no matter how weak and shoddy, to ask you for a divorce. And, sorry to say, but I have a feeling she's more than friends with this guy; plus, her saying she's single is a big red flag. Call it women's intuition. I hope she comes to her senses, or I hope you find someone better. You sound like you deserve it.
2007-03-18 19:56:14 · answer #2 · answered by karen p 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like you were being the trust worthy party in the marriage and was allowing her to have a friendship with a male, that you probably knew nothing about, and weren't invited to go and see, so being too controlling, NO. I would probably of done the same thing. If shes not willing to respect your opinion or act upon your feelings, then maybe a divorce is better.
2007-03-18 20:02:45 · answer #3 · answered by invisiblekisses2000 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, I think you are perfectly sane. You aren't being too controlling by asking about this "friend" of hers and the fact that she gets so defensive is pretty much a dead giveaway, especially if its not like her to be unusually defensive. Also, the fact that your wife tells people she is single very odd. If I were you I would just get the divorce, no one deserves to put up with her crap.
2007-03-18 19:56:23 · answer #4 · answered by brunettes_r_cool 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well if she is out there stating she is single thats problem number 1, her not letting you be a part of her friends is problem number 2, finding a letter like that confirms she is cheating and yes you should give her that divorce, obviously she doesnt want to be married... good luck...
2007-03-18 20:04:43 · answer #5 · answered by Renee 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Not at all. Don't stress yourself about a person like her. There's a problem when your wife says she's single. He probably wasn't just a friend. The relationship must not have benn tha important for her if she ended off of one arguement. You were right in this situation. Find someone better.:)
2007-03-18 19:58:25 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Something is REALLY wrong here, and it isn't you.
-they go to parties and DON'T invite you
-your wife says she's single
-she gets pissed when you call her when she goes out and you have "spoiled her night"
-this guy said, "that if he didn't see her for a week that he would die"
It's time for either couple's therapy or a divorce.
2007-03-18 20:36:28 · answer #7 · answered by Moon Crystal 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
your not crazy or controlling. she obviously has a guilty conscience. sorry to say this guy; but i dint think her "friend" is just that. sounds more like she's been cheating on you with this guy. When a cheater gets caught they lash out exactally like she did. And she really has no clue what shes talking about when she says you could go to jail for that either. Trust me; I asked the police if there was anything they could do for my ex getting into mine. and no i wasn't cheating; he was just feeling guilty that he was and thought hed snoop to see if i was as bad as him. anyways I really am sorry to hear this. Its going to be hard but if you dont get out now it'll be harder down the road. I know for a fact.
2007-03-18 20:04:14 · answer #8 · answered by the_syco_t 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all i don't think your WIFE should be hanging out with another man Period!!! and yes she is allowed to have friends not F- buddies i would tell her ''here is the divorce papers C YA!!! then she can have all the f- buddies she wants
2007-03-18 19:55:52 · answer #9 · answered by honeybuzz 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Unless he's gay, I'd say she's having an affair with him. She's enjoying the single life, but still getting the benefits of married life. If she wants a divorce, give it to her, because she's not going to change unless she wants to.
2007-03-18 20:06:38 · answer #10 · answered by 1978girl 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋