Is a life without companionship worth living???

Question

For the better part of the past ten years, I have been attempting to attract the interests of women by improving myself in ways to bring myself closer to what women CLAIM to find attractive in a man, and what they ACTUALLY find attractive (these are apparently different).

I have read many of the various dating guides, observed how successful guys behave in bars/clubs, and made every other attempt to determine what women desire so that I might fulfill this desire.

Despite this, I have been largely unsuccessful in attracting the interests of a woman. Over the years, I have succeeded in finding a few female friends, but they were never interested in being anything more then friends, and on very few (2) occasions have managed to find girls who were desperate enough to sleep with me for a single evening, and the last of these was over three years ago.

Despite my attempts to improve my personality, and appearance, I am admittedly quite ugly.

My attempts to improve my appearance, through grooming, cloths, etc. are little more then attempts to cover this fact, and girls can inherently sense this.

While women like to claim that they are attracted to “what’s inside”, it is clear that the initial attraction is physical and my flaws prevent such an attraction from forming.

Due to the fact that most girls would apparently rather knowingly be the second or third woman for a “playa” then to date someone like myself, it is unlikely that I will ever find someone who is willing to settle for me, even if just for a date.

Thus, as I approach my 24th birthday, less then a week away, I am faced with the realization that, with age, my physical appearance is only going to deteriorate, making it even harder to attract women, ensuring that my chances of meeting a woman will become even more unlikely.

In light of the fact that I am apparently condemned to a life devoid of companionship, I must seriously question if such a life is worth continuing.

I've noticed that several of you consider 24 to be young.

While this is understandable in most cases, none of my male relatives have lived beyond their early 60's, and most die before reaching the age of 60.

Thus, my life is likely already nearly 1/2 over.

Answer 1

Please forgive me as I find your concern a little amusing. You are only 24!! You are so young and you are worried you won't find a life companion. Don't worry about being ugly, because even if you are, even the ugliest guys get girls interested in them. Let your charm also be the attraction-factor when getting a girl interested in you. Really, really. Be Charming. And what the person before said is good too. Work out. I made an observation about a year ago, and that is that there aren't that many truly ugly people in the world. If you work out and are healthy, you will look healthy, and you will look attractive. You don't need to be killer-hot to get a girl, trust me. And once a girl falls for you, they will probably think you are the most incredibly handsome and attractive man they've ever dated. It has happened to me. I like him for certain qualities and aspects, and I find myself thinking about how incredibly good-looking he is. I notice only his good aspects. And then the romance stopped, and I found he wasn't as attractive as I thought. I admit, this was a very long time ago and I was... quite young. But you get the idea. Oh, and don't go for girls "desperate enough to sleep with you for a single evening." What's up with that? Not only is that disgraceful, for you and the girls, but you are just lowering your self-value even more. If you go for girls like this, other girls will not want to go out with you. If you are lacking in the physical qualities, then don't let that make your intellectual qualities suffer as well! Be principled, firm, someone that a girl would regard as admirable for who they are. Trust me it's worth it. And don't worry about it all the time. Just work hard at whatever you are doing right now, be it studying or your job, if you concentrate on that, not only will you be more successful and get your mind off of your preoccupation, but you will also be more attractive. Don't go desperately looking for love (or something that might appear like love....), instead let it happen. You can't force it. And even if you got all fixed up and handsome, maybe even then you won't find a girl because you STILL NEED WHAT'S INSIDE. Like you said, appearances are only for first attraction. You need to be the man of her dreams - a good person, of character and strength of will and mind --to keep her.
Be a good friend and companion to someone, and they will see past your physical attributes. Surround yourself with women who aren't shallow. Don't just go out looking for a date. Don't think about romance every time you meet a woman. Just be a good acquaintance, friend, coworker... etc. If you really are ugly, they won't fall for you the first time they see you, but if you see them more often, they will get to know you and appreciate your ways, and soon enough they will see what counts (it it's there! Make sure it's there buddy!)

I won't wish you good luck because more than luck, you need to just realize that you are not hopeless as you portray yourself to be. But you have my best wishes and my kind regards.
-smppl

*****
wow my post is really long but well I hope you understand what I am trying to say. And by the way, not everything in life is about finding a romantic companion. Yes, it is the hardest thing to do in life, to live without a companion. But a companion is not a mate by definition. A companion is someone you care about and cares about you. Someone to hang out with is a companion. Someone to just share your living with. No, you cannot live without one of those. But you can live without a girl. Don't try it though. Not because it is too painful, but because I don't think you should. I think you can "get a girl." You should follow my advice above.

EDIT:
I just thought of something: Try online dating. That way, you get a flattering picture of yourself to get them interested, and you talk with them and show them your true self. Because the first attraction is only a shallow thing, you aren't "cheating" or anything. You are just making sure you don't have an unfair disadvantage (this is once you have truly accepted and convinced yourself that you are not goodlooking. which i am sure you are, or at least I am sure you aren't as ugly as you say.) Online dating is a good way to put your true self out there without the prejudgements of people. You set forth your good attributes, and you express yourself without inhibitions. It will work.

EDIT:
OHHH, and by the way there are guys who just age well. haha don't give up on your looks just yet. I know a couple of men who are older and very goodlooking. In fact they were kind of not-so-attractive when they were young, but i don't know something about their older appearances is just much better. people are afraid of laugh lines and wrinkles and they don't know that's what makes some faces have a certain little thing for appeal.
anyways, in the end, just know that ugliness is not what is important. what is important is being fair and true to yourself, and don't give up. don't get sad because girls aren't flocking at your doorstep. look at it this way. the one special girl will come soon enough, instead of a whole bunch of "not-the-ones"...

Answer 2

I can see where you're coming from, being in a similar position myself (a few years older though), but at the same time I think you're going about this all the wrong way. Whilst I don't have companionship as such, I'm fortunate to have a close group of friends (both male and female) that make sure I don't feel lonely, or feel unimportant.
I think firstly, you need to reach some kind of inner peace yourself, get a greater understanding of who you are and what you are all about. There's no point trying to mimic what you think women want, if this is not what you're about then it will not help you. Actually, it will probably have the opposite effect, you'll end up attracting people that don't match what you're looking for, or expect you to be something you're not. You are FAR better off just being yourself.
The second thing I'd recommend is just getting out there and meeting people, you could do this a variety of ways, but I'd recommend speed dating or online dating to do this. You'll get to meet a lot of new and interesting people this way, and at least you know these people are interested in having a relationship. You'll have a better strike rate this way.
But no matter what, life without companionship is worth living, mainly because things change, you never know what is around the corner.

Answer 3

Yes, life is worth living without companionship. You are only 24, I am 38 and single. I have never been married although I have had live in girlfriends, the last one was 4 years ago. Why am I not married? Because I do not want to be married yet. I do not want kids either. If I cannot find someone that I can live with and keep my sanity then I will never get married.
If you must have companionship get a dog or cat.

Answer 4

Wow! You need to slow down. You are only 24! Ok, so you say you are "ugly", what ever that means. I bet if you stop obsessing with everything, nature will eventually take its course. You may see yourself deteriorating as time goes by, but don't forget people get wiser as time goes by also. Some of these women who have been busy dating "the hot thing", will grow up and conclude that just because a man is attractive, doesn't make him a good partner. Society puts too much pressure on guys to have a woman. Just live your life the best way possible even though you don't currently have a woman. One day you will become a father and find out what true love is about anyway. I thought I loved several men in my life, until I had my son. Now I know what love is all about and it has nothing to do with clothes, money, or good looks. Hang in there!

Answer 5

What I'm going to say is probably commonplace, but life is worth living anyway, I think. I've been experiencing the same problems (though I am rather good-looking, but I'm on chubby side) for five years, and I got used to being alone, except for a few friends (one used to be my boyfriend long ago) and an occasional one-night stand. I tried to change myself to become more attractive, but the thing is, you cannot control the way you change. Life changes you, and your experience changes you.
I happen to know people who don't seem good-looking at all, if you saw a picture of them, you wouldn't believe anyone thinks them attractive. But they are self-assured, and use their charms wisely, and they do the right thing - and I just can't be like them. The closest I can do is hide behind my pretty avatar, but I still fell like everyone knows it's me there, shy and clumsy.
Sorry, I think what I write is not helpful, it's more about me than your question, and I hope it doesn't discourage you even more. Thank you for your question anyway, it made me think.
It's going to be ok in the end, life is a book, though mine is dull and badly written at times, but there's always something new the next page.

Answer 6

You need to focus on something less superficial.
Like cultivating a personality that, allows women to be drawn to your sensitivity and self-love.
Listen, it seems like you have everything you need-minus the fact that, you're looking for love in the wrong places.
The pool of single women is HUGE!
Women between the ages of 27 to 47 are ready, willing, and able.
If you want companionship---be a companion.
If you want to sling it,(lol) the internet is full of MILF's and Friends with benefits.
If you'd just change your perspective--you'd see that there's a woman you interact with periodically that has all the qualities you desire. Women are attracted to men that, can be or be without a woman. They like self-reliance and self-confidence.
Be a peace with whom you have become.
Obviously, you can subsricibe to a few sites to get some "girly action"
Let your deepest and most profound love be self-love.

Answer 7

You're so young! Yes, you must continue on this journey that we call life. You're only 24 years old. You have more than enough time to meet someone who will compliment your life. And although you may not have met many of them, there are people out there who are willing to look at what's on the inside of a person. Give yourself a chance and some time to meet her. In the meantime, be the best person that you can be and be of help to others. This is what really gives your life meaning. A woman will never "complete" you. She will "compliment" you. You will compliment one another. You also do not need her for validation. That comes from within. No matter what your physical appearance, you must learn to love yourself, young man. It is only then that someone else will be able to love you, too. Best wishes to you.

Answer 8

Thy said, beauty is in the eyes of the beholder, and that include yourself.

You judge yourself by your appearance, how can your expect others to think otherwise? It's just that, what you think about yourself radiates outwardly for others to read it.

I have seen people like what you project as yourself, but have found a partner for life, enjoying the bliss of companionship.

Learn to accept what you are, and be happy by what you are, no matter what. Until then, your will not be able to see the beauty of life, the other God-given innate qualities, talents and blessings to you as a person. Express your self in a positive way, in your own unique way. Cheer up!

In the right time, somebody is waiting for you out there.

Answer 9

I have a cousin who feels the same way and I would agree with everyone else, life is worth living. There is someone out there for you. Don't be so hard on yourself. Also, don't be so hard on yourself. You need to seriously love yourself before anyone can love you. I cannot tell you what is more unattractive in a man than a lack of self confidence. If you build up your self confidence then trust me, more women will find themselves attracted to you. Also, don't try so hard. just focus on getting your life together and then worry about hooking up with someone. You are still really young and you have plenty of time to hook up with someone. Believe me, when you are not looking for it, it comes to you. Love will find you.

Answer 10

So you think your life is already half over, that means you still have half your life to find someone who will be with you. And yes, I think life is worth living without companionship.

Answer 11

Im so so sorry....out of my heart I tell you that you shouldn't think such thoughts..please don't think such things. You will find someone who loves you for who you are. Im a guy first of all and women are....well....not very nice. You don't have to make your life about finding a mate. Friends and family should give you all the love you need. But if you really want to find someone then, YOU WILL, believe it, don't give up....GRRRR.... Women can be vicious and evil I tell you. Finding a good friend is by far more important than having a girlfriend. Anyways, you are still young don't give up.