2007-03-18 12:05:59 · 4 answers · asked by gary g 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
There are probably many things that make you unhappy from a past of 30 yrs--but think, there are obviously many things of joy you remember. Think more; your marriage has survived thus far for 30yrs despite the things that make you unhappy.
More importantly, this is the time (you are probably in your 50s) to enjoy that comfort and companionship you have built up over the years--in spite of the things that make you unhappy. It is very lonely out there in the divorce world. Divorcees never tell you that.
Forgive the past. Make your spouce know you have forgiven and enjoy a peaceful comfortable middle-age relationship.
2007-03-18 12:22:32 · answer #1 · answered by Elder 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Only you can answer that question.....if the past is creating distrust and even hate for your partner, then you need to work out can the marriage be revived....or even if you want it to be revived. If the hurt of the past has not been resolved, then the hurt will always remain the present. What you need to do is to work out whether you want to stay married and if you do, maybe its time to put the past where it belongs. To help you to do this you will need the help of a good qualified and experienced marriage guidance counsellor. You need to sit down with your spouse and put your cards on the table....tell him/her what is really bothering you and that you havent been able to leave the past behind and that it is always playing on your mind. Tell him/her that you need help coming to terms with the past hurts and you think its time you and he/she got some help for the problems. If you dont want to do that, then I think its time you did think about divorce because if you dont want to try to put the pieces back together then it seems like the past has totally consumed you and too much damage has been done. If there is a spark of love left....if you think 30 years of marriage is not worth giving up on, then do both yourselves a favour and get some counselling. If there is no hope, or no wanting to find hope, then divorce. There are solutions to everthing and divorce is not the only answer to problems, but you are the only one who can decide if the hurt of the past is too great to want to resolve it. Only you can decide if your marriage is worth holding onto.
Take care
2007-03-18 19:16:33 · answer #2 · answered by rightio 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
if you were not happy about things in the past then you should have deal with those things in the past
2007-03-18 19:24:34 · answer #3 · answered by zether 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
okay that's vague. you do not give enough information for an honest response. my best advice would be counseling. best of luck
2007-03-18 19:10:23 · answer #4 · answered by simplyme 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋