Does the stereotype that all gay man care about is appearance and sex exist for a reason? I'm beginning to think so...it seems that most gay men don't really do anything to change this image of our community...life seems to be all about the club, the random hook-up, the meaningless sex, how "hot" that guy is, etc. I've become rather jaded with the gay community recently since it seems very difficult to find a decent gay guy who isn't super shallow, a liar, or a perv. What can be done to change this stereotype? Do you think gay men will ever be able to recognize their own faults? Too many gay guys seem obsessed with defending the way they live their lives, shallow and promisucous or otherwise, that they can't see that maybe their are real problems in the gay community that need to be addressed. Any thoughts?
2007-03-18 11:46:21 · 9 answers · asked by toobland22 1 in Society & Culture ➔ Cultures & Groups ➔ Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender
It only seems that the majority of gay men are shallow, because the majority of the shallow ones frequent the bars and clubs, place themselves in the public eye for attention, and compete with one another for bragging rights. We can also see differences based on geography and statistics. Gay men in or near metropolitan cities worry about appearance (both clothing and body) more because there are more of them and "competition" for the really "cute" guys is fierce in the bars and clubs there. Gay men in the suburbs and rural areas tend to put more emphasis on personality and integrity - all the intangibles. There's not many out there to impress with looks, nor are there many places to do it. I'll take an attractive country guy over a drop-dead gorgeous circuit boy anytime. Another reason why it seems most gay men are shallow and yes, arrogant, is because there are more gay men concentrated in major cities than in the burbs. Simple probabilities state that if you increase the number, you will also increase the frequency of contact. The number of arrogant narcissistic gay men can also be seen in the decade factor. The highest percentage of these shallow guys are the 20somethings. It's rare to find a shallow gay man in their 40's unless they are #1 independently wealthy or #2, Dean Cain. As a gay population ages, the ratio of pure numbers vs shallowites decreases. It's an axiom, but youth is wasted on the young. If we could have youth AND wisdom/experience at the same time, maybe there would be less shallow gay men and more monogamous relationships.
2007-03-21 10:22:28 · answer #1 · answered by deLaParre 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Although some aren't, it seems that the majority of them are (based on my experience). The only thing some gay men seem to talk about is their status-symbol toys, their bodies and sexual habits. I'm currently in the process of losing weight because of my high blood pressure not because I'm trying to fit into a gay niche. Thus, I'm being healthy for the right reasons.
Over the years, i realize that I don't need tight suggestive clothing to make myself attractive. All I have to do to make myself attractive is to practice good hygiene and wear clean decent clothes. I would not date a man who takes off his shirt in a bar because to me, he's shallow.
2007-03-20 09:05:10 · answer #2 · answered by JLee 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I was actually thinking the same thing. As a straight guy, I got hit on by a bisexual dude the other day on Yahoo answers and he asked me if I wanted to have coversations with him and talk about sex. What the h*ell is that? I started wondering, do gay and bisexual guys only care about sex and thats it? Is coversation just a secondary thing, and sex is the ultimate goal in life for them? Do any of them really connect with each other in a personal way, and not just sexual? I'm sure many do, but I'd like to hear them talk about it so I know some will stand up and say it's not always about sex. I woudn't ask a random girl for sex for she may be an idiot, diseased, untrustworthy, etc. I need conversation and a real deep/trustworthy relationship first so I know what I'm gonna be sticking my dragon into. So why would gay/bi dudes do that? I don't see girls throwing themselves out there for random sex. (unless they're prostitutes)
EDIT: Thumbs down right? Then who ever gave it to me clearly thinks it's nonsense to wonder about gay/bi people based on an experience I had with a bi guy I turned down who askes me for sex out of the blue. Ignorant and stupid.
2007-03-18 11:58:35 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 2⤋
Yes. I have thoughts. The gay people that you are referring to are a separate group of gay people who are into exactly what you say they are...but there are a lot of us out there who don't try to fit in with this group and have little contact with them or their lifestyle. We all make choices. Mine was to live a more substantial and satisfying life. Many others have made the same choice. Maybe it has something to do with age. I don't know...but I/we are happy.
2007-03-18 13:02:28 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Well I'm flaming gay, and yeah I'm also somewhat vain and enjoy sex. But at the same time I have suffered enough crap from rednecks in my life that I have too live each day like it's my last. I'm a complex dude, but really people want someone fun to be around. So I concentrate on the fun things in life. Maybe its shallow but the alternative sucks.......
2007-03-18 12:05:46 · answer #5 · answered by ? 1 · 1⤊ 2⤋
It doesn't sound like the gay men you are describing are any different than straight men. I think it is the single male community in general.
2007-03-18 11:52:26 · answer #6 · answered by Me 6 · 3⤊ 0⤋
None of the gay gentlemen I know are shallow. Actually they are the opposite.
2007-03-18 14:59:08 · answer #7 · answered by S.F. Girl 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Gay men are no more shallow than anyone else. It may just be more obvious, but certainly no different than others.
2007-03-18 12:01:12 · answer #8 · answered by castle h 6 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Well, the gays that i've met in the work place seemed ok but i've not really gone into detail about their private lives or they mine. I'm sure everybody is different
2007-03-18 12:01:17 · answer #9 · answered by rostov 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋