I am a swinger and a man i swing with has asked me to go on vacation with him. Meaning stay with him. I want to go and my husband approves but i am afraid this will be romantic and he will take this further than recreational sex.
2007-03-18 11:32:18 · 13 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
If you and your husband are both okay with it, and you have no concerns that YOU will begin to develop emotional ties to him, then it seems the problem lies with him. It really would suck to be on an otherwise awesome vacation with someone who is just a lot of fun to hang out with (in various ways) and then have him p*ss in your cornflakes by crossing your comfort boundaries like that.
The best solution always seems to be talking. In this case, if you've already discussed it fully with your husband, it just means that you and hubby will need to discuss your concerns with your friend. Talk to him a bit more and see if you're maybe overreacting? Maybe you're afraid this will happen, but he truly has no interest in pursuing an emotional relationship with you beyond friendship.
On the other hand, if he's putting of a real negative vibe about it, and it just smells like a rat, don't ignore your gut instinct. People are really wierd when it comes to sex, and he may have some things all caught up and confused in his mind. If this is the case, don't go. His interests are only dangerous to your marriage if you allow them to be (by returning them), but the fact that he would even go there is just going to make it a pointless and depressing trip.
EDIT>>
For all have sinned, and come short of the glory of God;
Romans 3:23
Get off your high horse there, Tommy D. Danielle's question only reveals that she and her husband are in the lifestyle. You make assumptions about things you could not possibly know...like the very personal and intimate state of their relationship with God. It's not something you are privy to, none of your business, and certainly not something you have any place sitting in judgment on. Everyone has enough trouble of their own in life without wasting time pointing out the "faults" of others (based, of course, on your opinion and interpretation of what it means to be a Christian). Not very smart? Hmm...
And why beholdest thou the mote that is in thy brother's eye, but perceivest not the beam that is in thine own eye?
Either how canst thou say to thy brother, Brother, let me pull out the mote that is in thine eye, when thou thyself beholdest not the beam that is in thine own eye? Thou hypocrite, cast out first the beam out of thine own eye, and then shalt thou see clearly to pull out the mote that is in thy brother's eye.
Luke 6:41-2
2007-03-19 17:20:08 · answer #1 · answered by intuition897 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I know a coulple that swings and it was all good at first but once each starting the one's they would swing with on their own, it became a big deal and caused a lot of issues in the marriage. IMO, swinging will end up back firing in the long run. Something that will take place that will destroy what the 2 of you have, a marriage. Someone will develope feelings for another, get PG or a STD. Be cautious with your lifestyle, maybe it's time to end it before your marriage ends. Really now, some things were meant to remain a fantasy and swinging is one of those things. Anyway, if what I say means nothing to you, then at least have fun. Have a happy week.
Mary in the tiny village of Onsted, Michigan
2007-03-18 11:42:22 · answer #2 · answered by maryannmccarthy2003 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think that it's definitly heading in the direction of romance. If you don't want to have that type of relationship then you shouldn't go and I would suggest that you stop swinging with him. He may have feelings for you and that could get weird and maybe a little dangerous. If your husband is going to come with you then I guess it's not such a big deal but I doubt that your "partner" is going to accept that. I would break it off with him. Sounds like he's getting serious about things.
2007-03-18 11:43:07 · answer #3 · answered by Vince R 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
He's making a move for primary sex partner. Don't go on a vacation with the F-Buddy. Stay home with your husband.
2007-03-18 11:41:44 · answer #4 · answered by Poppet 7 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Most swingers I know wouldn't be OK with that. That has enormous potential for you to bond with him.
Since you can't be screwing 24/7 you'll be spending most of your time NOT screwing - sleeping, dinner, laughing - the kind of stuff "love" is made out of.
Sounds like trouble to me. Even with the best of intentions.
2007-03-19 06:21:05 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Your question reveals that you are not a christian individual and not a very smart person. Your husband may be gay or involved in an affair as well. What kind of life are the two of you living . What about committment to marriage. What are you teaching your children? Repent of the thought and turn to God so that He may forgive you. Do not do it.
Ezekiel 18:20 (KJV)
The soul that sinneth, it shall die.
2007-03-18 11:50:02 · answer #6 · answered by Tommy D 3 · 0⤊ 2⤋
How much further could this go? You've already passed breaking your marriage vows and the ewww stage that Lesley and Scrappy mentioned.
2007-03-18 11:42:28 · answer #7 · answered by QT 5 · 1⤊ 2⤋
Go with your gut feeling. If you are getting bad vibes about it, or you don't feel right doing it, then don't. You'll just dislike yourself for going against your personal limits.
2007-03-19 08:55:00 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
My advice is if you have those kinds of concerns then don't go I know I wouldn't no need to risk your relationship.
2007-03-18 11:39:33 · answer #9 · answered by miester44 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I agree with Lesley ewwwww
2007-03-18 11:38:00 · answer #10 · answered by ? 3 · 2⤊ 3⤋