Adopted adults?

Question

Adopted adults?
tell me how yu are now? are you screwed up, are you successful, is there something that your guardians could of dont for yu that they didnt. thanx.

Answer 1

Hi well i was adopted as a baby, a few days old. Today im 37 and i would say that it has affected me in a lot of negative ways. Screwed up? You better believe it! My "mother" has been an alcoholic my whole life, she has always made me feel that i wasnt good enough , smart enough, any thing enough. She has also told me since i was very young, that i was a big inconvenience in her life and i was a mistake that should have never been born. My "father" was never really around much. Now i can understand why, with a wife like my mother. These awful things that i had to go through could happen to anyone though, so i dont blame being adopted , for the things that i experienced. I do think that
i have a lot of insecurities that stem from being adopted. I know i have a problem with trusting ., and i hate when things have to come to an end. I have a terrible fear of being left alone. Although i am an "adult" i still feel and act like a lost lonely abandoned child , who is always searching for her family. So i do believe that it was and still is a bad experience for me. But i also know others who are adopted and who are very well adjusted and loved and happy. Honestly, i believe every situation is different,i am still trying to recover from my past and i guess i will be for the rest of my life. Thanks for listening.

Answer 2

Hi! Yeah I'm totally screwed in the head :) and in some ways am content with myself yet in others, very angry at the world. Like previous answers to this question I appear to be very successful and happy on the outside however inside my life is very lonely and confusing. im filipino but was adopted into an aussie family. other than the briefest of stopovers in manila over 12 years ago, my family never educated me of or showed any interest or respect toward my original philippine culture and that upset me a lot. also having to grow-up as the only short and coloured person in a red neck rural community did me no favours as a child and teenager.
because its very hard for anyone to understand my issues with intimacy and attachment, i've never had any romantic life and it is very depressing in a world that so clearly revolves around this. but,i still continue living and am happy to keep playing with the cards i was dealt

Answer 3

Professionally and to outward appearances I'm successful, but personally I'd say I have number of issues.

The majority of them are from the closed records, the secrecy, and the lies of the Baby Scoop Era of the 50's-70's. I'm angry with the way my first mother and many like her were treated during this era, and I'm angry at the coercive tactics used by the adoption industry today. I also tend not to like people who aren't adopted, as they don't understand what being adopted feels like, but are more than happy to tell adoptees how they *should* feel.

The only thing my adoptive parents could have done differently is understand how important my history is.. but they couldn't understand, as they were not adopted.

Very good question to ask, by the way. People are so busy telling us how grateful we should feel, no one ever takes the time to actually ask. So, thanks!

Answer 4

My mom is an adopted adult...she's had feelings of abandonment (from her biological father), but she feels her adoptive parent treats her as if she were his own. She's been fortunate enough not to think of it on terms of him doing things for her. He provided a stable life for her until she graduated high school and has been there for her through college and life's obstacles. She's a nurse who raised 4 children. Are you needing support from your adoptive parents and you're just not getting it? I haven't had any monetary support from my biological parents since I was 16 years old. What I build upon is our relationship. You'd be surprised but a lot times I feel closer to non-relatives than I do my own parents. They're just not expressive people. You may have adoptive parents are not expressive as well. Don't worry they love you. :)

Answer 5

circumstances in upbringing certainly can have their affect however should not become a crutch for not trying to better yourself regardless of where you came from.....

many have to endure things that others may know about and many may never know about.......inner strength is something that is developed in time...

determine to be a better person in spite of the start - for your tomorrow is your life!