Here's the question: just because lying and cheating are so common doesn't make it right!!! So, why do people seem to sigh and shrug like it is just the way of the world, and you just have to accept it and move on? It is wrong, dead wrong, and there is no excuse. But being unforgiving and prideful is wrong too...I made a committment too, and just because he broke his vows once, doesn't mean I'm going to by throwing in the towel. It takes strength of heart to stick with it and regain some faith: what I need are suggestions on how to stay positive and happy and try to have faith!!!
2007-03-18 10:19:50 · 11 answers · asked by christy j 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Yes it is wrong. Unfortunately, it is also human nature. Happiness and faith will take time - you need to regain trust first. Until that happens, you're stuck where you are.
2007-03-18 10:23:52 · answer #1 · answered by Me 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Your question isn't real clear, but I will tell you that people have all different agendas and reasons for making the committment. Theirs are not always good healthy reasons and some stray just once while for others it is a way of life. You need to determine whether your partner is as committed to making your relationship work as you are and whether or not the breaking of the vows is likely to happen again. If he isn't in it 100% it will happen again and you are being a fool. If he is committed to not doing it again and working things out with you, you need his committment to a plan to change things i.e. counseling, etc. If you decide to work things out, he needs to understand why he will be on a really short leash and agree to it. He needs to understand that it isn't because you are a Bi***, but that it's because he was a jacka** and is going to have to earn your trust back.
Just make sure you don't martyr yourself to show anyone that you won't back down from your principles - everyone makes mistakes. There are times to admit it and forgive yourself.
2007-03-18 17:30:07 · answer #2 · answered by Mrs. Goddess 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Its sad but true that alot of people have no problem cheating on people. Its happened to me too many times and i finally found a good man that i trust completly If it was to happen to me again HE would be out the door so fast his head would spin. Its not acceptable in my book. Im sorry to say that if your man is or has cheated on you then he WILL do it again. Why should you stay in a relationship and be unhappy while your man is out screwing other women?? If you dont want to cheat on him(which two wrongs dont make a rigght) then get rid of him. You shouldnt have to live your life that way,,while hes out having a good ole time. He knows you are forgiving and he will just keep shitting on you as long as he knows he can because he knows he has a softie for a woman. Theres a big difference between having pride an being a sucker.
2007-03-18 17:27:54 · answer #3 · answered by michelle 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You are right with what you said here. But, when someone keeps doing the same mistake over and over and over again, doesn't that show you that he is not being serious with the vows he made with you? We all make mistakes but can overcome them with the help of God and with prayer.
The only way to stay positive is by doing this together. Don't give up to something that is little. Work out the problems together. Life is what you make it. Being happy is being thankful and grateful for who you are married to, for what you have. Praying together. Appreciating one another, respecting each other, and loving eachother will keep you two together. You need to have trust in your marriage.
I would consider on reading these two great books called, "The Proper Care and Feeding of Marriage" and "The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands". I challenge you both to read these books. It will help you to help eachother.
Pray together, stay together!
2007-03-18 17:35:13 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Hon its not going to be easy to try cuz of that doubt in ur head u need to give ur self time to heal before u be ok with him.If you think that hes worth the trouble then work on it,but once you see things aren't working then call it quits cuz they won't get better so first think how to heal first before you go and forgive him.Just keep the faith and remember u are strong if its better without him then let it be but if he seem willing to change then sit and have a talk to see how u both can work on it.
2007-03-18 17:32:22 · answer #5 · answered by horsnetnet 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
How sure are you it was just "once"?
Why not make sure, hire a Private detective to follow him around for a little while. If it was just once and you have been married for a long time, sure go get some couples counseling see if he repents and sees the error of his ways.
Just from observation of the real world, infidelity and potato chips are similar, nobody can have just one.
2007-03-18 17:26:14 · answer #6 · answered by zaphodsclone 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think you are a strong woman! Way to go. Not condoning his dog-like behavior, but you are right. So Many people give up too easily. We are human, we make mistakes. To error is human. To forgive, divine. But also, fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me. Good luck!
2007-03-18 17:30:59 · answer #7 · answered by sandibum 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Good luck cause it all sounds like a journey of pain and suffering accompanied by trust issues. I rather get the divorce.
2007-03-18 17:51:16 · answer #8 · answered by beachgirl90 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Good for you...
Don't forgive him if he cheats again...
It will probably take several years for
you to finally get over it but it will be
with you for 20 - 30 years....
2007-03-18 17:28:25 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sorry for this but once unfaithful means they think there is something else out there and if you don't give them a reason to stop searching then they will keep looking.
2007-03-18 17:27:05 · answer #10 · answered by going to be mom 1 · 1⤊ 1⤋