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When I met my partner, she and I were both in a relationship with someone else. In spite of that fact we fell in love and both of us left our unhappy situations to be with one another. I moved 500 miles from home to be with her. With in the first month that we were together she had sex with her ex. I had not moved yet and she and her ex were going to try and remain friends as they had been together for a very long time. She told me about it approx. a week and a half later, said that she felt horrible, that she could no longer keep it from me. Said it was done out of anger, at the ex (long story) and uncertainty about me and whether or not I would actually move to be with her. I love her more than I have ever loved any one and did move, leaving my entire life behind to be with her. I can't help feeling this anxiety and nervousness though, some part of me keeps wondering if it will happen again. She is no longer friends with her ex, so that doesn't worry me. I just wonder...

2007-03-18 10:15:38 · 5 answers · asked by Lilly 7 in Society & Culture Cultures & Groups Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender

if it will ahppen period. Am I right to feel this way, or should I just give it up and be more trusting. I know that trust is vital to a relationship, so I am feeling bad for not trusting her completely. Your thoughts please.

2007-03-18 10:17:16 · update #1

I've already moved, and been here for a while. She never see's the ex-hasn't in 6 mo and the only time we are not together is when she is at work. Thats why I am kinda feeling bad about the distrust.

2007-03-18 10:26:06 · update #2

5 answers

you shouldnt feel guilty about distrust, it is human nature to have distrust when someone breaks your heart. Atleast your partner was honest with you, it will just take time to trust again and youll be alright.

2007-03-18 10:54:09 · answer #1 · answered by darkcloud5757 3 · 0 0

The question you have to settle is only one. Do you trust her? If you trust her, then move forward and live your life with her. If you don't trust her now, after all this time, then you have to deal with it. You can't keep bringing up your partners past when you feel a little uneasy, it isn't fair. The reality is that it could happen again, and it might not. You made the decision to leave your home and move, knowing that she had been with her ex before you even arrived there. You made your mind up then that you wanted her in your life. There is no easy answer, but it is your life. You have to do what is good for you and what you are comfortable with. Trust is a hard thing give in the first place, even harder to give again. Good Luck to you.

2007-03-18 10:51:04 · answer #2 · answered by stormzsecret 3 · 0 0

I honestly believe you're making a big mistake in your life. You're moving very far away from your comfortable surroundings to a new place, a new life. She already cheated on you and obviously still has feelings for her ex. I know you love her, I know what loves feels like and it's so intense it clouds your common sense. I don't think anyone can stop you from going to be with the girl you love but just remember that she cheated, she's not trust worthy and you do have all the right to feel anxious and worry. This is a big big big decision. Remember that.
Good luck!

2007-03-18 10:22:33 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0 0

Your trust is admirable but you are extremely naive. You are the type of person that everyone is looking for. One that has hope and believes lies.

2007-03-18 10:57:22 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0 0

take clonazepam , its for anxiety , it calms you down , only if your doc let's you have it. it works , it relaxes you. and it worked for me,.if u dont like that see a therapist.

2007-03-18 10:20:41 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0 0

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