Based on your experience, what do you think they need to know about how to be good parents even though they are divorced and maybe not on the best of terms with the ex?
2007-03-18 10:15:24 · 9 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
There mom and dad regardless of how you feel about the other are THEIR mom and dad. Respect that. Dont put your failures on them. Have enough self respect, ownership, and honor to not only allow them to know both parents but encourage them to do so. Be honest with yourself and be adult enough to put your differences aside in front of the children and "fake it till you make it" if you have to so what your childeren know from the both of you is grace, loving kindness, and mature responsibility. Learn what self discipline and self control is and practice it. Lead and teach by your example. Your free from one another so let your child be free to love and be loved by the both of you. Having a child is the greates responsibility one can have and it means your life is not just about you. Dont bring your differences with one another home to your child. Seek counseling on how to communicate more effectively through difficult circumstances so your child will learn those skills through seeing you put them in action and be a better person for it. Develop your conscience and listen to it. Be grateful for your child and know that it took the both of you to created this child, honor that.
2007-03-18 11:18:07 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
Here are my thoughts since my parents split 26.5 years ago.
1. Always be there for your kids.
2. Never make promises you never intended to keep such as a telephone call or spending time with them because it makes the child or teen miserable.
3. Never use the child as a messenger to your ex. It places the child in the middle which is very uncomfortable.
4. Tell and remind them that the divorce was never their fault.
5. Spending time with your child does not always mean to cost money. There are pleanty of free things to do around.
6. Never bribe your child with money, video game, toy, etc. It can backfire in the long run.
7. Stay on good terms with your ex because there are pleanty of special events through life. No one wants to have to chose one parent over the other in fear something will happen.
8. Never badmouth your ex in front of your child or teen.
9. Attend school functions and sporting events because it means a lot to your child.
2007-03-18 21:39:39 · answer #2 · answered by dawncs 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Some marriages are just not meant to be, and as i have found out, as your child will get older they will too find this out. You've got to get them through the times when they say "where's mummy/daddy" and want to set you up together again, but as they'll mature they will soon realise that what has happened has in fact happened for a reason. Just carry on being a good parent just as you would do if you were married. Don't spoil your children, but don't ignore them. Pay full attention to them.
2007-03-18 17:29:51 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
first off kids usually get hurt the most.
you need to act like adults in front of your kids
even if you hate each other.
you should both work together as far as kids go and never put them in the middle of anything.
tell them they had nothing to do with the divorce, you just don't fit together anymore or something simular.
keep talking to each other no matter how hard it is.
you need to be role models for them in case it ever happens to them for one thing.
i could go on and on but i don't want to make this too long.
just think of your kids more than each other, and it will make their life so much better.
2007-03-18 17:32:18 · answer #4 · answered by myddad 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
When my parents divorced when I was 7, I was SO confused because NO ONE would tell me what was going on. I had no clue why my dad was walking out with all his clothes. I didn't understand ANY of it and I hated it.
But now I'm glad I didn't know. Everybody sugar coated and smoothed over everything for me and us kids. I'm kinda glad they did.
2007-03-18 17:39:16 · answer #5 · answered by Ade 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
there are a ton of great books out there - suggest they read as much as they possibly can; if they don't, it will more than likely be way worse than it needs to be. Divorce and New Beginnings is a good one.
2007-03-18 17:21:23 · answer #6 · answered by chebbies 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just love the little guys the same as you would when the ex was there . Don't take you frustrations out on them
2007-03-18 17:20:27 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Custodial mothers should NOT BLEED THEIR ex-husbands dry.
Fathers are more than sperm donors and support checks.
If you cannot support the children without bleeding your ex-husband dry and forcing him to live the life of a middle aged undergrad in a house full of roomies, perhaps you should reconsider and let HIS family raise the kids.
2007-03-18 17:28:08 · answer #8 · answered by WhatAmI? 7 · 1⤊ 2⤋
DO NOT project YOUR opinion of the ex spouse onto your children...because of the strong hatred my mother had for my father, we children never had a relationship with him. She made us believe he was the devil himself...will never forgive her for that...wow, that felt good to "say"...
See? It never does leave you...listen to those words, people.
2007-03-18 17:33:02 · answer #9 · answered by mrs O 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋