Can boys come and answer this, please?

Question

So, I have this ex boyfriend. His name is Josh. Well, Josh always get's in to trouble. I try to help him with the problems he has but when I do try, he pushes me away. He has been through alot. His mom died 5 years ago, his best friend died almost 2 years ago. I think that he thinks if he get's too close to people, that they might turn on him or die [he is about to turn 17, im 15]. We have been going out on and off for 4 1/2 years. I feel like completly giving up, but he keeps promising me he is going to change. How can I get him to trust me to help him?? Any advice?? Thanks

Note: He is not distracting me from school, I have 2 b's and 2 a's.

Answer 1

if i were him, the best thing that you could say to me is, " I'm not going anywhere" The worst thing that you can say is, " I feel like completely giving up" One thing is, that you can't keep being together "on and off". Keep it constant, and he'd warm up to you more and be more comfortable around you. Every time you get back together with him after another break up, you start with a clean slate and lose all the progress you've made. If i had a girlfriend and we kept splitting up and getting back together again, i'd never know if it's the last time or not. If i knew i'd be in a long-term relationship, i'd want to share more with her. It's just like, i don't tell people personal things unless i know i will know them for a long time and that i'd be friends with them for a long time. Because, there's a chance that we might get into a fight, and they'd use some information to blackmail me. I think i'm alot like your boyfriend. I don't like to show my emotions or share my problems with people and it's not easy to get me to trust people. Don't listen to the people telling you to force it out of him and nag him. That would just make him shrink away from you. That's how i'd feel if someone tried to pry it outta me. The thing to do is to agree with him and not force your ideas on him. And most importantly, don't get outside help. That's the last thing guys like us would want. And maybe, for me anyway, i'd want to get over it myself and i wouldn't want people to press their ideas and advice on me. I wouldn't want my problems to be the center of attention. Get his mind of of his problems by doing something together.

Answer 2

He's going through a rough patch, he might just be a bit hormonal or just depressed. Talk to him i am really short tempered and tend to lash out but talking is always the best way to resolve things, ask him why he doesn't want to get too involvedwith his problems, if talking to doesn't walk give him some time and space to think but be there for him.

I hope i helped

Danny

Answer 3

The only person whose behavior you control is your own. You cannot "get him to trust" you and you cannot help him. He's the only one who can change his behavior. The BEST thing in the world you can do for him is to not enable him to misbehave. Do not EVER excuse or sympathize when he does stupid things or is destructive. He does not fear you'll go away if he gets too close to you. His behavior is self destrictive and YOU cannot help him change except to not accept it.
Mark these words down. If you continue to accept and excuse his bad behavior you'll be doing that as long as he's in your life. He needs much more help than you can provide.

Answer 4

don't josh is not going to change if he want's to change he'll change but in his time period it's josh's descion to change you have to let him decide if he want's to change or countuine down the path he is going down

Answer 5

show him that you really care. keep helping him, keep bugging him, just keep at him and sooner or later he will crack. just don't give up. make sure he doesn't do anything destructive. just keep being there for him and being assertive and sooner or later he will crack.

Answer 6

If he hasn't changed by now, then I'd let him do his thing without you.

Answer 7

trust me when i say he ain't gonna change.

Answer 8

just Waite.