My girlfriend/ex got married to another guy one month ago. We had a relationship for 4 years, although 1/2 of it was international. She lived in the U.S. however when her visa was expiring, I didn't feel ready to get married. It was never about another girl, I just didnt feel ready. I know she suffered greatly when she went back home, as I wouldn't marry her, but we still maintained the relationship. So, for the past 1 1/2 years I have gone to visit her about 5 times (the last time was in Dec). I told her I finally felt ready to get married and that I would come back in Feb. (last month) to do it. Obviously she didnt trust me as I still never married her all this time. I found out so sadly from a friend that she was engaged to some other guy she met, I went to try to stop the wedding, but she wouldnt change her mind. She told me she loved me but just never thought I would marry her. I am SOOO sad as she wont be my wife. I miss her!! It is just too hard to move on, what can I do?
2007-03-18 10:02:19 · 31 answers · asked by robert7 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
let it go.....save yourself heartache...DUM DUM
2007-03-18 10:04:49 · answer #1 · answered by eldiablo0731 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Well, think of it this way, her need to get married overpowered her need for love....some people are like that, they think marriage is the answer. Unfortunately, its not. You didnt feel ready for marriage for your own reasons....there is no crime in that.
There is nothing you can do, she is married now and you pining over her is just delaying your own happiness. There is a woman out there waiting for your love....a woman you will feel ready to marry. Things happen for a reason and if your unwillingness to marry her is any indication, your gut was telling you, she wasnt the right one. If it was meant to be, then you would not have let her go and you would have been ready to marry her.....she wasnt the right one......the right one is still waiting for you. When you meet the "one", nothing holds you back from being together. You were unsure of marriage for your own reasons and that is a pretty strong indication that she was not the "one". Move on, knowing that the love of your life could be waiting around the next corner. Move on knowing that when you meet the right one, you will have no doubts about whether you want to spend the rest of your life with her....you will know you are ready.
Take care
2007-03-18 17:44:57 · answer #2 · answered by rightio 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
As said by the others, this is something in life that is not fair but you'll have to accept. Though you have so much love for this woman, all you can do is respect her choice. Why would you want a woman who have love for a different man?!?!? Obviously she no longer has the love for you as she might have had at the time you 2 were together. You need a woman that is for you 200% she must have had some type of relationship with this man while you were both still dating...You do not need a woman like that in your life...even then you dont HAVE to have someone in your life. When and if it is ment for you to be married God will bring you a woman to you that is right for you! Be patient
2007-03-18 17:23:29 · answer #3 · answered by vanillasweetnes 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Not to sound harsh, but you can't blame her for moving on with her life. This wasn't a span of a couple of weeks or months, but a few years. She may have thought you were giving her false promises to keep her hanging on. Maybe if you would have given her a ring or something to hold onto, other than empty words she would have waited. If she is married now, you have to respect that. Wish her the best and try to move on. It will be painful, but you have to do it. If you love her like you say you do, then her happiness should matter to you. Sometimes we don't know what we have until it's gone, and that hurts.
2007-03-18 17:09:48 · answer #4 · answered by Ammikins 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Go to her and elope. That's a sure way of stopping any wedding.
If she became engaged because she thought you wouldn't marry her, she must still have feelings for you.
Try, if you don't try you will have to live with your misgivings for the rest of your life. They won't keep you warm at night, she will. They won't help you raise a family, she will. They will be there in rough times beating you down further. But if the 2 of you were together - tough times won't last and it's always better to have a partner to get through them with.
So what are you waiting for? If she is the one - prove it.
2007-03-18 17:10:16 · answer #5 · answered by r_favorite_stuff 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If she has moved on with someone else, then you just need to let her go. I know its hard, but your feelings will mend through time. It seems like forever when you are going through it, but once you are through it,a nd you look back, you will be glad you did. If you both loved each other the way Married love is supposed to be, then yall would be together no matter what...so obviously there is a reason. Best Wishes!
2007-03-18 17:06:02 · answer #6 · answered by Just Me 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Healing time is pretty much all you have right know it is hard to have long international relationships you never know what can end up. I think if you had a 4 year relationship and it was still going and she goes and get engaged to someone else that quick that she is not to faithful.
2007-03-18 17:13:08 · answer #7 · answered by going to be mom 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just b/c she's married doesn't mean u have 2 stop talking. Tell her how u feel, and at least b friends if nothing else. Chances are, if she still loves u but married someone else, that it won't work out very well, and she'll need some1 close 2 talk 2- a.k.a u.
2007-03-18 17:08:30 · answer #8 · answered by angelfire22 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You silly man!! If you knew you loved her then why not just marry the girl when you had the chance. You need to get over this and move on but don't just cut yourself out of her life I would definitely stay in touch but do not interfer with her marriage, stay friends
2007-03-18 17:13:49 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Let her be. She made her decision to move on. If things are meant to come back your way, it will. But don't get in her way right now. In time, you may cross her path again. You should be grateful for the time you had with her and learn from it. Love is never lost. And loving is never a waste. God Bless.
2007-03-18 17:31:58 · answer #10 · answered by Melody 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
sadly, if she really loves the man that she married, i'm afraid there is nothing you can do. you can always keep in touch with her, but that prob won't help you to move on. right now, the pain is really new and fresh. time will help to heal the hurt you are going through. i'm so sorry that things worked out this way for you. take care.
2007-03-18 17:07:09 · answer #11 · answered by RainStarJG 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋