You see a crowd of gulls fighting over an object on the wet sand at the ocean's edge. You investigate. The....

Question

object is a vase-shaped, pink blob about as round as a dinner plate. How will you decide if it is a living thing?

Answer this if you really want to get 10 points.

Answer 1

If it still moves on its own, then it is definitely a living thing. Problem solved.

If it is totally unresponsive, then it is either dead or it is non-living. To find out, I would use several different methods. If the results of each of these methods indicate that this is a living thing, then one can say it is proven.

The first thing I would do is take detailed pictures of it, both in water and out. I would then put it in the freezer for preservation. If I can find some sort of known animal or plant that resembles it, or is identical to it, problem solved. If I can't, I might offer a reward to someone who can find another specimen like the one in question.

I would test it for complex organic chemicals that are known to be formed only by the metabolic processes of living things. Knowing that ALL known life forms on earth MUST have DNA, I would test the creature for DNA, and I would take several different samples from INSIDE of the creature, to reduce the risk of getting a sample that may have been contaminated with some other animal's DNA.. If DNA strands are confirmed to be present within it, I would try to find a match with any known organism. Even if I can't find a perfect match, if I can find something similar, it will at least give me an idea of the taxonomy of the creature we are studying. In addition to DNA, I would also test it for other exclusively organic compounds.

I would definitely make an attempt to dissect the creature at some point. If I could find specialized tissues or organs, I would attempt to compare them to other tissues and organs to determine what they do. In particular, if I can find and identifiy the creature's sexual organs, then it can only be a living thing. Not having sexual organs doesn't rule out this possibility, but since one of the definitions of living things is that it must be able to procreate, without sexual organs I would need to find out how else it may do that.

In particular, I would try to determine how the creature/thing would be able to take in food, metabolize that food, and excrete waste.

The sea gulls fighting over it was my first clue, however. I can't imagine them fighting over something they couldn't eat, and they only eat living things or things that were once alive.

If each of things supported that the object was a living thing, then it is proven. If I get exculpatory data from some or all of these seperate investigations, then I would need to provide an explanation as to how it is still possible that the object is organic.

Answer 2

cut it open to see if the inside contains organs

Answer 3

Push it back into the water and see if it swims.

Take it home and see if it rots.