Why do Mexican men or atleast some abuse there wife?

Question

Me and my husband have been together for 3 years and we have 2 children and we r going through papers but, he always wants control over me and what i am doing and acting like i never do anything right. He hasnt seen his parents or whole family in 5 years and his grandfather is very sick and thinks he might die and he has 3 to 4 months left till we go over there. I feel that he takes all his anger out on me. He used to be very jealous and abuse me all the time and then he has slowed down from that alot and now here lately he acts like he hates me and any little thing can set him off.He has just in the past 2 days hit me 3 or 4 times for stupid stuff. I accuse him of cheating sometimes because how he acts but then again he is always here with me if not at work. What do u think is wrong with him how can i make him love me more?

Answer 1

hes stressed and inadvertently taking out on someone or something who won't defend themselves you have to take a stand and set boundaries if you choose to affiliate with such a situation

abuse won't end until you make it so you need to tell as a strong woman no more or im out look i love you but not this **** you giving me i can only do so much yes i feel for you and everyone eventually has to go if you can't cope without being violate and all these years maybe you need time by yourself..

he should straighten out but most abusers are overly possessive I wont say outright leave because you have to be strong for that one

Answer 2

About Mexican men and women...and men controlling them or whatever, I'm sorry but I've never heard of any Mexican controlling and hitting their wife, maybe they were more controlling in the olden days like here but I've never heard of Mexican men being like that. You have a controlling husband and I don't think it has to do with his ethnicity, no Mexican man has ever controlled me or abused me or anything of the matter. Maybe you should look more into why he's doing it instead of why Mexican men are like that. I say he needs to learn to appreciate you, leave him, even if it's for a while, you can't put yourself in that situation. I'm sorry he's being a bad representation of other Mexican men because all the ones that I know have never laid a hand on a woman, their moms taught them that since they were very little. Again, leave him, chances are he will hit you again and you don't deserve that, no woman does.

Answer 3

I think that you have a controlling husband. Usually Hispanic men who come from a background in Mexico, tend to be controlling with their wife. The wife has to stay home and take care of the kids, he controls the money, etc....Some Hispanic families do have good moral backgrounds and some don't.

Your husband seems jealous over you. I just don't understand why you even married someone like that, or why you are still married to an abusive man. Sometimes they carry their past with them and hurt the ones they say they love, that they use that as an excuse. A person who says they love you, should not even hit you. That is not love at all. That is abuse.

You cannot make someone love you more when all he does is want to control you, abuse you, and is jealous. You cannot change him. He needs to change himself!

You want to know what is wrong with him? He is an angry, abusive man who cares for himself only, which is selfish. I really think that you are blinded for seeing who he truly is, that you think he will stop by trying to love you more. But, that is not so. You need to be honest with yourself and see the 'big picture' in him. He is, who he is and you 'cannot' change him, but only he can change himself.

You should not be with a man who is violent with you, who hits you, who is controlling, who doesn't really love you. He may need some help, but he has to be willing to get it.

Answer 4

I have noticed this tendency in Hispanic men, among others, and I believe it's coming from their belief that they have to be in complete control. As wrong as it totally is they seem to think it's an acceptable behavior, which it's NOT! Now it does sound as though you have a very controlling husband and since you have admitted that there has already been physical abuse that puts you in major jeopardy, not to mention the trauma and potential abuse your kids may suffer in the future. As I saw in one of the answers here, why do you tolerate and accept this crap? Do you want this to become a normal part of your life? He comes home and for whatever reason he had a bad and so because you were right there and the dinner wasn't hot enough he hits you? You HAVE to think about your kids and your own safety. Most abusers only get worse as they find the women are willing to accept this B.S. behavior. Children also learn this behavior from their parents, so ask yourself this question, would you like to raise your children in an environment to think it OK and accepted to hit women? I would hope not, you MUST get out of there not only for your sake, but for the sake of your kids too. How long will it be before he starts in on them with the abuse, if he hasn't already. There are programs out there that can and will help you and offer alternatives, take advantage of them before it's too late.

Answer 5

I grew up on the border of Mexico and TX, from what I saw, they don't leave, they just stray. Not all of them of course, but there were a lot of guys who wanted there woman at home and there fun on the side. It really isn't a "Mexican" thing though, that is how a lot of men are. It just surprised me how many women put up with it.

Answer 6

IT'S NOT JUST MEXICAN MEN! There are men of all races that are abusers and there are WOMEN abusers so quit sounding so racist!

Stop and listen to yourself. "How can I make him love me more?" You are trying to make him do what you want and he's trying to make you do what he wants and THAT'S the problem, you're both trying to control the other, you with your childish jealousy and him with his jealousy and misdirected anger.

Get to a counselor. You need it.

Answer 7

Being of Mexican decent I can tell you it's in our blood our heritage. My father did that to my mother. I think it's because of this inner anger we have inside, we have to work or fight for everything. We have not learned how to control our temper. So we leave it out on the most easiest person we find our wives. I'm sorry for you and your kids get help for you and them and your husband, but I know he will be stubborn(machismo). Don't worry it can be done I've never, ever laid a hand on a woman and never will, but sometimes it's hard to control the anger inside, so it's something he going to have to want to do. There is nothing you are doing wrong, trust me on this it is him that has to take the steps to get better. It's hard but I know there are time when he's the perfect husband that is the time to talk to him make him understand that his kids will be the ones who will pay for his actions. I wish you luck and the very best. I hope he sees what hes doing to you and your kids.

Answer 8

There are abusive men in all races. The abuse has nothing to do with color but it has to do with control and fear. I mean fear as in fear of not having control over you and losing you which he should have lost you by now. It is also a serious mental condition and he needs therapy and you need counseling as well as your kids. Think about what the kids are going through witnessing this. It stays with them forever.

Answer 9

If he hits you then YOU NEED TO LEAVE HIM. I don't think it is because he is Mexican, though. He is just an AS*HOLE.

Answer 10

No the question is what the hell is wrong with you. Why do you put up with this treatment? And what the hell does him being Mexican have to do with anything?