Take a man that does not have any history of being abusive. In the heat of a fight he makes the mistake of hitting his gf once. Is it likely that he will be abusive again even in future relationships?
2007-03-18 09:42:07 · 23 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
I am not the gf. There is a guy that I have recently started dating and have known for a very long time. I recently met his ex and she told me that once they were having a fight and she was throwing stuff at him. He slapped her. I asked him about it and he said it was a huge mistake and that he was trying to ward her off. If it was anyone else I would probably walk away. I just feel like I really know him. We have had fights before. He is never physical and usually is the calmer one.
2007-03-18 09:49:52 · update #1
Nope, but likely will be unless he gets professional help.
Further, staying around a guy that hits you will most likely enable the behaviour.
But most importantly, if a woman stays with a guy that hits her, even once, is she doomed to always be abused? Only if she allows it. It's never okay, it's never acceptable and once it happens a line has been crossed that should not be ignored.
The first time should be the last time and the only way she can ensure it is to leave and seek help for herself if she needs any.
After reading your afterthought:: if he hasn't gone to get help about the behaviour, I'd be extremely careful around him and would not think about dating the guy, knowing his past. The rest of what I already wrote still holds true.
Peace
2007-03-18 09:53:20 · answer #1 · answered by zingis 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
if he does it once he knows he can get away with it and will do it again. if he goes to another relationship he will do it again because he now has alimit and if that new person passes that limit he could do it again. there is no perfect relationship , there will be fights and arguements but some people need to know when to back off and take a long walk. if you know he has hit someone before then get out now!!! he will hit you. you are no one different from the last girl. he says he loves you and never felt this way about anyone else( he probably told the others that too.) he will abuse you. nothing has changed unless he has gone through several years of therapy. even then he wont completely change. good luck.
2007-03-18 16:47:54 · answer #2 · answered by Christina 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
This is hard to say if this person will continue to be an abusive partner. For some people in the heat of the moment will strike out and be very genuine about being sorry. There is no way for sure to know as we all know people's faces and not their hearts.
I think it best for the people involve to make the conscious decision of staying with this person that abuse them or not. For no two people situations are the same; so it is some thing for them to view on a case by case basis and make up their minds.
2007-03-18 16:56:15 · answer #3 · answered by Premio 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He may not change, the only possibly that he could change is if he truly recognises that what he did was wrong. In my case, it took a threat from a friend to make him stop him hitting me, but instead he choose to take his anger and damage thousands $$$ of my personal possessions. Once they have done it to you once, you can not fully trust them 100% ever again.
2007-03-18 17:25:51 · answer #4 · answered by Jasmina 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Not necessarily. Sometimes things just really do get out of hand, and if a man is truly sorry for his actions and feels guilty about it, he might never do it again.
But it depends on a person's moral charactar. If there is a breaking point that they don't feel bad about crossing, they won't stop.
2007-03-18 16:47:10 · answer #5 · answered by Risika Desaunt 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Abuse is often a learned behavior. Usually abusers saw abuse themselves or in their household. Abuse normally escalates....watch the news, read the paper, there are normally stories of deaths or near deaths from abusive people. I would suggest visiting your local Domestic Abuse Center and talking with someone or attending group sessions there. Abuse is a cycle...learn all you can about it and be sure to listen to any warning signs your mind/heart sends out to you.
2007-03-18 16:49:22 · answer #6 · answered by curious74432 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
a man should never hit a woman, but if he does it once and is truely sorry then maybe he could be trusted not to do it again. if it happens a second time then yes he is an abuser.
2007-03-18 16:46:05 · answer #7 · answered by firefly 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Yes
2007-03-18 16:45:01 · answer #8 · answered by angel 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you love somebody, you don't hit them.
What kind of man hits someone and has relations with them, an abuser.
A man.
2007-03-18 16:48:31 · answer #9 · answered by Wonka 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hard to say. I've gotten extremely ticked off in arguments, but I have NEVER allowed thoughts of physical violence to come into my realm of possible actions.
It's just not right.
2007-03-18 16:48:33 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋