i have a 15 year old sister, and she has been secretly dating the guy next door, hes 21 years old. it all started ever since we moved here, last summer, she has changed her attitude, she tends to isolate herself from her family, and everytime she communicates with my parents it usually ends up in arguments. Me being the oldest, i just dont know what to do, i feel ashamed because i catch her doing all these stuff like, sneaking out of the house at 3 a.m and go to the guys house, she has fotos of him and her hidden. she doesnt tell us nothing , but its obvious she has something going on with that guy. and it seems that everytime my parents tell her some advice , she pretends not to listen, shes still seeing that guy, and there is notes that say "i love you" from the guy. the guy just works, he doesnt go to school. iam very concerned about her, i just dont know where this is all going.
2007-03-18 09:41:31 · 22 answers · asked by Brenda 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
You can be worried, but ultimately it is not your problem to deal with. Just do the big sibling thing and dob on her to your parents. By refusing to cover for her you then place the ball in your parents court to try and deal with as it is their job, whether or not they are capable of dealing with it properly. You have to try hard not to fight your sisters battles for her, but make her responsible for her own actions or else you risk fighting her battles for her all your life, which believe me usually turns out bad in the end. I know this from experience. If your sister asks you to help pick up the pieces then be there but make sure she understands that picking up the pieces is not going to be a life long job of yours or you end up doing that all your life as well.
Your real job is to turn out yourself to be as good a person as you can and to support the tough decisions that your parents have to make. Don't try to be the parent!
2007-03-18 09:49:08 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
First off, I agree with you, they shouldn't be dating. It is perfect that the 11 year old looks mature for her age so she should be all set. I am a bit surprised that her parents are fine with it, but okay. The fact that he thinks she is 15 is a bit unsafe, because he can pressure this girl into having- well, I won't say it, but you know how most boys are with girls at that age. I don't think an 11 year old is ready for that.
2016-03-29 05:30:37 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sit her down and give her a darn good talking to. She needs to know the dangers of what she is doing and I'm not just talking about the fact that he is a potential paedophile. She is obviously sleeping with this guy, you need to know that she has been using protection, he could have anything.
You also need to tell you parents everything that you know and then you all may need to look at involving some sort of authority such as the police because no matter what way you look at it, she is a minor and he should no better it is classed as statutory rape even is she has consented.
2007-03-18 09:48:01 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Tell your parents what you know. It may be illegal in your state for him to date a 15 yr old...it's called statutory rape or contributing to the delinquency of a minor in many states. Your state's court system may have Juvenile Court counselors that your parents can speak to about your sister's attitude also. At any rate, your parent's have a right to know what is going on as they are responsible for you and your sister and arguments are inevitable when dealing with teen agers. Family counseling might also be something to consider if tempers flare often and rule making is hard for your parents.
2007-03-18 09:46:19 · answer #4 · answered by curious74432 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
That is oh so very wrong. You should tell your parents to grow a spine and do a little parenting. That man should be informed that he is taking advantage of someone that is too young and immature. If they continue to see each other, a restraining order should be put on him. This could easily turn nastly quickly and if they're having sex it is rape. Your sister should be told that what she is doing is wrong and maybe even see a conselor. Some tough love now could save many years of hardship.
2007-03-18 09:47:52 · answer #5 · answered by PhotoWhiz 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
well let me just say that there is nothing wrong with that. It is illegal to have sex with the person here in this country. At 15 she should be old enough to know what she is doing and isn't stupid. My grandparents were 15 apart and they got together when they were very young and they loved each other until death. Let it be and tell her to be careful because he might be an abuser.
2007-03-18 09:51:39 · answer #6 · answered by L3monDr0p 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Okay, first of all, that's illegal. Tell your parents, and let them handle the situation. If your sister's still sneaking off, your parents may have to play the tough-love card and send her to live with a relative.
You could also confront your neighbor and tell him that you know what's going on, and that you're not afraid to report him to the police if he doesn't stop dating your sister.
Good luck, hon!
2007-03-18 09:46:34 · answer #7 · answered by Flappy 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
She is 15! She knows it all, didn't you know. We know everything at that age. If you try to stop her, she will probably rebel even more! Honestly, be a big sis, try to hook her up with a guy who is maybe 18, finished with high school, going to college. A guy who has goals and such for her. Tell your sister if the guy really loved her and cared about her, he wouldn't be hiding their relationship as if it were a dirty secret. Maybe this will prompt your sister to get him to come in the open about it, and when he doesn't because he wont, then maybe she will see it as it is. If he does, maybe he does really care about her?
2007-03-18 09:48:40 · answer #8 · answered by Jenny 2 · 0⤊ 2⤋
well tell ur parents (secretly) or just ask her whats going on. be a big sis and she will eventually tell u. thats what sisters do. they cant resist talking. give her a sister to sister speech about how dangerous it can be to date a man so much older than her. she just might not be ready for it.
but no matter what, protect her... :) good luck and i would love it if u would be so kind to as choose me as best answer. thanx! :)
2007-03-18 09:46:05 · answer #9 · answered by HL 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
the way i see it, she's going to get her heart broken and theirs really nothing anyone can do about it. it will be the biggest lesson she ever learned. she may wise up after its over but maybe not. the best thing u can do is make sure shes uses protection if anything happens. theres really know getting through to her about staying away from him. anything anyone does to discourage will make her that more determined to have her way
2007-03-18 09:54:22 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋