I hv a frnd who didnt care for me as much as I cared for her. She knows I love talking to her but she always showed me like she is busy and its hard for her to talk to me but still she used to talk and it made me feel like a burden on her.
I was always there in her time of need but I rarely found her when I needed her.
I was hurt by all this so 1 day I told her that its not necessary to talk daily and she agreed after that I stopped texting her suddenly.
Till now she didnt ask me, y? She knows something is wrong but she didnt ask me what? Today she told me that I can text her at anytime and its not a prob for her to talk to me.
There was a time when she used to find difficult talking to me and nw she asked me to msg her whenevr I want to.
What do u think is she bothered by my avoiding attitude? Does she started missing me? Idont want to lose her. I feel bad ignoring her. Do u think she got it that i have some prob by her. How can I hint her that I am hurt by her. plz plz help.
2007-03-18 09:37:38 · 21 answers · asked by lets_smile07 1 in Social Science ➔ Sociology
Don't hint,go and tell her...You are friends,friends are there to talk and solve misunderstandings
2007-03-18 09:41:59 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I had the same sort of relationship with a friend. I was usually the one that contacted her and kept the relationship going. We liked each other but she always seemed too busy to take time for me when I really needed her but was always quick to call me if she needed to vent or cry about something. It use to hurt my feelings alot because I really cared about her and she said she felt the same but never really showed it in a positive way. However, now that I have a new best friend that I really love spending time with and we are two peas in a pod, i dont have much time for the other friend except an occasional phone call. For some reason I think it bothers her that I found someone else cause suddenly she calls more often than before and seems interested in my life. I'm suspicious about that but dont worry too much. I think she liked having me dependent on her and having power over me to keep me waiting until she was available. Now that I have other interests and friends she is jealous and is trying to re establish the old relatioship the way it was. Been there done that...Im moving on.
In any relationship there is the one that gives more and the one that recieves more. Its never 50/50. Some people are happy being the receiver or happy being the giver and so the relationship works for them...for those that arent happy you either need to talk it out and maybe facilitate a change...or decide that relationship just isnt giving you what you need and move on. This is true for either love or friendship relationships. Also, you have to understand that you cant change people's basic personality...you can only change the way you react to it.
2007-03-18 20:46:09 · answer #2 · answered by coolred38 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This sounds rather familiar since I am dealing with a friend who's like this because she has this mentality that it's all about her and what she wants she doesnt think about other people and their needs and concerns. My friend had done something about 2 weeks ago involving a court hearing she had and I told her earlier before the hearing that I had to leave make a stop before going home, but she proceeded to make 2 stops staying at each one for nearly 30 mins and then when I had to tell her I had to go it's like what I had to do didnt matter to her and then she proceeded to take medications that made her lethargic and drousy and she was driving wrecklessly and nearly hit two people, mowed down a street light, and nearly ended up in oncoming traffic because she was that out of it.
Now she knows I am not talking to her as a result of this and sometimes you have to take a break from speaking to your friend since some friendships do need a break to give both sides time apart. I don't hate my friend, but she's got some growing up to do and she's got to get help in dealing with her issues because talking to her doesnt help her to deal with her issues. I wouldnt hint anything to your friend just be straight up and honest that you were hurt and let her respond and if she doesnt catch on then maybe it's time to take a break from each other.
2007-03-18 13:58:07 · answer #3 · answered by nabdullah2001 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The best way to get answers to your questions is by asking her. Perhaps now she being a little more open with you she may tell you what's on her mind.
Maybe she was slow to open up at the beginning of the friendship because she has trusted people in the past and they have hurt her. When you stopped communicating with her she may have realised that she may be about to lose you and that scared.
If this girl means as much to you as you say she does then get in touch and tell her how you feel about things.
I don't think you should hint that you are hurt. I think you should just come out and tell her straight. Maybe it would be good to clear the air and be honest with each other. It reinvigorate the friendship and, who knows, you could be closer than ever!
2007-03-18 09:48:41 · answer #4 · answered by shy_voo 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
She is probably one of those girls, that doesn't think if you get what I mean, she prob has no idea the way your feeling, because she is not that type of person to pick up vibes like that.
Friendship works both ways like any friendship, you should be there for each other, not when one person does and the other doesn't, whats the point of being friends.
She may be wondering why you never wanted to hear from you every day, and my have thought he did something wrong.
Why don;t you talk to her and say that you feel that she is never there for you, when you need her.
She may be th type of person that just doesn't realise.
Good luck :-)
2007-03-18 09:46:05 · answer #5 · answered by chloe 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The old saying holds true that you don't know what you've got 'til it's gone. Your friend was suddenly forced to feel your absence. It's very possible(and probable) that she reflected on your relationship and noticed that she'd not been the friend she needed to be.
You should tell her you're hurt. It's always better to get things like that in the open. She's your friend. She'll understand. In a calm, respectful way, make it known that you've needed her friendship in times of need and haven't recieved that attention you want in a friend.
2007-03-18 20:27:37 · answer #6 · answered by tate 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You know what, I once had this girl at college and I barely knew her yet she'd come up and tell me her life story and talk and talk for what seemed like days. In the end I'd just put in earphones everytime she came near, but I do feel a little guilty, I know she can't help it.
Not that you do that, I wouldn't have a clue, I'm just saying... maybe?
Talk to your friend, find out whats going on in her head. And don't ignore her completely, just don't talk to her as intimately and she'll still get the message.
Good luck though.
2007-03-18 09:50:16 · answer #7 · answered by floppity 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
i think there comes a time in any relationship when people take the other for granted and so absence makes the heart grow fonder.
Also it may be that now your friendship needs to be one where you don't need to see and hear from each other daily.
As you get older you reach that stage where you start to lead your own lives and enjoying each others company more because you don't see/hear each other everyday.
2007-03-20 03:37:05 · answer #8 · answered by ? 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i think it would probably be better if you explained to her how you felt, clear the air and start again. If you start keeping your distance from each other you may find a day has gone into a week then a month and before you know it your no longer friends Tell her how you feel, if she really is a good friend she'll understand.
2007-03-18 09:43:43 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
ok, I think everybody has been in a situation where they were used by some friends. you don't have to lose them, but you do have to talk and try to solve the problem. it seems to me that you have already done a lot of hinting (texting and all that stuff) and that you need to sit down, make coffee, get cakes and talk to her, tell her what's bothering you. i know it's not easy, but it has to be done, if you want that friendship to last.
2007-03-18 11:02:51 · answer #10 · answered by mimma 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I know exactly how you feel. She only calls me when she needs my help but whenever somethings wrong in my life she's not there for me and one time I even got her a bf while I was going through a really tough time. I feel so used with her that I don't even go to her for my problems anymore I go to another one of my friends. I think you should let her know how you feel. Something I need to do myself but I make up excuses for it. I'll do it myself tomorrow I think you should try it.
2007-03-18 15:59:45 · answer #11 · answered by Wolf_28 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋