my boyfriends mother is somewhat domineering whereas she wants things here way in her world and the thing is she's too controlling to an extent. Her son and I have been a couple for many years however she feels he isn't ready for a commitment-- we've had problems and she's been there to mediate, help and advise however I feel she should be supportive and not like a third wheel on our relationship decisions. By me confiding in her have I created an irreversible "monster". she is a sweet person isn't married and has no other interesting affairs in her life...what do you think
2007-03-18 09:30:17 · 5 answers · asked by Diva 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
You have two major problems, your boyfriend having no spine and his mother being a control freak. She can't meddle unless the two of you let her and he may be too weak to stand up to her.
Your first mistake was confiding in her. You need to set boundaries. I suggest your boyfriend and you get into counseling ASAP because meddling inlaws can be a huge problem.
2007-03-18 09:39:53 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 9⤊ 0⤋
Set her on fire, and get it over with. All kidding aside, tell your boyfriend that you want main decisions and such made just between you two. Say something like, "Your mom is a wonderful person, but the way things were done and managed in a relationship in her days, doesn't work these days. I think you nad I should make all choices and decisions for us. That doesn't mean your mom may not have good ideas we could use and benefit from." Don't go straight to the potential in law. You may piss off your boyfriend and offend her. Let him deal with it initially. It is his mom, and he knows her better.
2007-03-18 16:39:42 · answer #2 · answered by Jenny 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
So, you made a mistake by confiding in her. You can reverse the course though. Do not confide in her and if she offers up advice tell her you appreciate her input but you are capable of making your own decisions. If she does not relent then you have to decide whether you want to be married to a man and his mother.
2007-03-18 16:36:23 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Been there. The only way for it to change is for your boyfriend to talk to her and set boundaries. It is never a good idea to involve in laws in your personal life. My husband and I didn't, but she was overbearing without our help. Good luck.
2007-03-18 16:36:40 · answer #4 · answered by QT 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do not trust her to tell her personal business in your relationships. If you need to talk to someone talk to a counslor, or someone who you can trust that has been in a healty relationship a long time. She can not control something she does not know about. Keep your distance.
2007-03-18 16:36:53 · answer #5 · answered by curious 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋