Anyone get placed in their custody oder " NO OVERNIGHT GUESTS?

Question

of the opposite sex. Yeah, yeah, yeah. We are divorced. But my kids are 2 and 5 and wander at night. My husband believes that itis perfectly OK if the kids walk in on him boinking his latest conquest. I don't. I date but I don't have anyone staying over on my half of the month.

I am asking for information from people who successfully placed this in their orders. How did you do it? What evidence did you present? Thanks.

Rightio - Do you speak from experience? And would you be the first to cry foul if he took your kid to see and X-rated movie?
When did Westerners lose their morals?

Answer 1

Ask your lawyer. I've never heard of it, but most people use common sense when it comes to their children. Your lawyer is able to give you the best advice.

Answer 2

I dont know if you could have that stipulation in a custody order.....its pretty controlling. Divorce doesnt mean you cant have a life.....what if you meet a wonderful man that you want to stay overnight......every night? The same applies to your husband.....it is quite limiting to both your personal lives. People have basic needs and while you may see it as "bonking", he may see it as making love. Sex is a natural desire for both men and women and children should not be the reason you stop being intimate....thats pretty selfish actually. Maybe respectfully ask your husband that when he has the kids and has a woman stay over, could he please lock the door, so the kids dont walk in on him. If he has joint custody then you obviously trust him enough to look after his kids...maybe you need to trust him enough to not expose his kids to things they dont need to. Im sure if they need him, they will yell out and he will be there. He just needs to lock the door, or else have the kids trained to know when the door is closed they are not allowed to come in. I guess its like anything else when you put boundaries into kids lives...the same applies in this situation...they have to be taught when the door is closed, they call out, not just enter his bedroom.

Gee tiaburke, you are very defensive....I did not condone taking a child to an x rated movie...read my answer, I said, close the door, lock the door....I am not saying to expose your children to anything "x-rated". You are the one considering a man and a woman having sexual relations is x-rated...I happen to believe that sex between two consenting adults is very healthy...and certainly nothing immoral in that. Maybe it was your conditioning throughout your life that makes you think sex is dirty.....maybe that is why you dont have a very healthy attitude about it.....and maybe, just maybe is the reason your husband went looking elsewhere....sex is not dirty and is not immoral.....I think you have a problem

Answer 3

it's nice that you want to protect your kids, but your ex husband is their father, and i'd think he would want to protect them too.

i was divorced and we had two children... i couldn't dictate what my ex did in his own home, or who he kept as company. he had a few girlfriends and wives over the years, and they spent the night -- my sons are 19 and 31 now, and aren't any worse for the wear. both appear very normal and are decent people.

i ran my life similar to yours when it came to dating -- no overnight guests when my kids were home. i did what i thought was best for the kids in my own home.

perhaps you could focus on YOU during the time your child is visiting with with his father instead of worrying about the company your ex keeps. do what YOU feel is right in your own home, and set the example you feel is right.

A "NO OVERNIGHT GUESTS" clause in a divorce or custody agreement would be a little over the edge.

this is just my feeling and no reflection on you at all. we all want what is best for our kids. meanwhile, sometimes we have to try and trust the person we once married, to use their brain.

take good care.

Answer 4

You are SOL on that. You will not be able to dictate who and how long a guest can visit your ex. It may not be pretty, but that would infringe on his individual rights of what he can do in his own dwelling. Unless he is not neglectful or harming the children in any emotional, physical, or sexual way, you will just have to deal with his promiscuity.

Answer 5

Sounds to me like your using the kids in order to be a control freak and keep your ex from having any new relationships. I say MYOB and teach the kids that it's impolite to just walk into a room without knocking.

Answer 6

i think the only way you can get a no over night order if the parent is on drugs or if the parent has some sort of history of abuse, sexual ect... good luck.