He is 25 years old. His life has been somehow easy, he has never had to truly work to get something, so I think maybe this has made him kinda spiritually lazy. I was born in Mexico, life is harder down there, it is harder to get what you want so people tend to appreciate things a lot and to appreciate their loved ones also. We are also very community oriented and we are taught things like compassion, courtesy, friendliness, etc to have a harmonious relationship with people.
My husband doesnt have much friends, he feels he doesnt need anyone so he has not much social skills, he can be actually pretty impatient and rude with others.
I am growing more and more distant with him, it seems he wasnt taught much virtues. But I wonder if it could also be immaturity. He is young still and maybe life tribulations will make him more spiritually strong.
What do you think?
2007-03-18 08:57:46 · 14 answers · asked by Alejandra 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Several studies have shown that our morals and values are normally developed in us by age 7. He is well past that age. He might be able to learn this attributes but must be willing to do so. He sounds very self absorbed. If you share a common religion I would recommend counseling through your church. If not, then a marriage counselor might be able to help. Go alone if he won't accompany you.
2007-03-18 09:03:05 · answer #1 · answered by curious74432 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You sound like a very well balanced person who is mature for your age. Rather than a lack of maturity, I think your husband is just VERY different from you. I suggest this difference is so great that it will only continue to increase as you grow older, and cause more heartache. I don't mean to be discouraging, but I know that a persons basic personality and character is what it is. It is what makes that person unique. You are probably both fine people who are just mismatched. I hope you find a solution to this while you are young. There are many men out there who are looking for a person just like you, and who have many things in common with you. Stay open to new things, and follow your heart.
2007-03-18 16:14:08 · answer #2 · answered by siddoly 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes this could be immaturity or even how he was raised or the friends he has been around or bad influences in life. He may need counseling to learn how to have some virtues and morals and you have to help teach him how by how you act and live around and in front of him. You can set the pace in your home and in your marriage. Good luck to you and I hope things get better for you and your marriage and that he learns how to live a better life. Hugs to you today. Just be the moral person that you are and dont go against what you believe in. He does need to grow up and mature and you need to love him where he is at and be patient and loving and kind to him. Be supportive and help him to learn and understand the better way to live. Pray for him that God will show him how to change and live a better and more moral life. I suggest the book the Power of a Praying Wife for you to read. It is written by Stormie Omartian and they sell the book at Walmart and at Target. Read it it is really good! I think it will help you alot with this situation.
2007-03-18 16:33:51 · answer #3 · answered by Lady Hewitt 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, first of all, you cannot change your husband if that's what you are trying to do. You married him for who he is. You two come from two different backgrounds, so making comparisons with each of them will not make things better. If your husband was like this before you married him, then you should have not married him. Could it be that you married him for the wrong reasons?
It could be that he is immature in those areas in which you talk about 'spiritually'. He probably hasn't grown into the man that you expect him to be. It could also be that your expectations for him are too high.
You just need to sit with him and accept him for who he is, because you can't change him. He has to want to change himself. If you say you are growing more and more distant with him, then you are not taking your marriage vows seriously enough to stand by him 'for better, for worse'.
The best thing you can do for him is pray for him. He just needs to still grow into the man that God wants him to be, and maybe God is still working with him to become the husband for you. You need to support him and be his help mate. Pointing out the bad things in him, will only make your marriage worse.
Appreciate him on the things he does for you, even if it is the little things that he does. Respect him for who he is and for who he can become. Love him, and keep loving him no matter what the situation is.
I would consider on reading these two great books called, "The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbnads" and "The Proper Care and Feeding of Marriage". I challenge the both of you to read them. It will help you to become the wife you want to be to your husband. It will help him become the husband he long to be for you.
2007-03-18 16:21:47 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Most 25 year old guys are very immature in their actions and attitudes. Sometimes they gain the right values by age and experience and sometimes it takes something bad happening to them in life to change. At any rate, he is the one that has to make those changes. You cannot make him into something that he isn't interested in becoming. If you have the patience to wait, it might happen. Otherwise, I'd say you married a boy instead of a man.
2007-03-18 16:10:39 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
I think that you should give it time. If this bothers you talk to him about it. But, at 25 most guys aren't even thinking of settling down so he may be more mature than you think.
2007-03-18 16:03:02 · answer #6 · answered by blondieT 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No honey, thats his personality, unfortunately. Didn't you get to know him before you married him?
Its too bad people get married hoping the other will change. Its a mistake.
2007-03-18 16:04:02 · answer #7 · answered by Ade 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I know what you mean - I was involved with a verry self-absorbed young person. Trust me, it doesn't get better and the work eithic won't likely improve much.
2007-03-18 16:05:34 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Why did you marry him? Did you think you could change him? Have you talked to him about it? Have you thought about counselling? Talk to him and try counselling. Good luck.
2007-03-18 16:11:16 · answer #9 · answered by QT 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You talk like you are older...are you?
He is still a kid.
Just let him know he is all you ever want...don't ever put anyone before your husband....I mean unless he is a complete creep.
2007-03-18 16:05:35 · answer #10 · answered by Bobbie4u 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋