Problems with my ex wifes new husband?

Question

Both my ex and I are remarried but I have 2 children with my ex. Her new husband has taken it upon himself to carry out all communication with me about my kids. He is rude, he purposefully winds me up to get a rise out of me and criticises my parenting. I see my kids every weekend, always pay child support plus extras like scholl trips. Im a loving father. But this guy is ruining everything.

Answer 1

I had the same trouble with my ex's new wife. Hope you don't have to do what I had to do. Court action. Very expensive. Maybe you could convince you and your ex to go to a counselor in the interest of the children. The counselor will let everyone know only the original parents should be communicating, not new spouses. That's just wrong!

Answer 2

You need to tell your ex that you want all communication regarding the children to be between you and her. The next time he tries to speak to you about the children - very calmly and firmly say " I'm sorry - but I won't discuss that with you." I know this will be hard since he knows how to push your buttons - but taking a firm and assertive attitude with him will work in the end. It may take time until he realizes you do mean it. He is obviously doing this for two reasons. He must harbor some jealousy of you and your ex and intervenes to prevent her from talking to you. He is also trying to establish his territory as the new "man of the house " and is using your kids to point out he is now in control. The only way you can stop this is to not play along with his immature games. You are their father and there is nothing he can do to change that. As your kids get older, they will see through his actions and will think less of him. If you take the high road and refuse to let him bait you - they will remember that and admire you for it. Good Luck!

Answer 3

Sorry...but thats how it goes when you get a divorce with children involved. Someone else will come into the picture and try to be the better one....because he has to live with your children and show some discipline. YOur ex wife should be the one to draw the line with him and tell him how far he can go. Those are her children as well as yours. If I were you, I would stay clear, do what you keep doing. See your children on the weekends and don't even ask or talk about this guy when you are with your children. Whatever he has to see, just ignore it. You are their father. Dont let him wind you up, because thats what he wants. Just ignore what he has to say.

Answer 4

I would suggest sitting down your with ex and explaining to her that these are your children, not her husband's and that you do not appreciate his interference. I would point out that she would not want to deal with your wife on these issues. If this approach does not work, see an attorney and have him write a letter to your ex about communication regarding your children and their well being and visitation schedules, etc. Also consider working out a neutral site for pick up and drop off of the children to eliminate going to their home and possible hostile encounters. Take someone with you as a witness also. Keep records of communications and record them if possible.

Answer 5

You need to have a talk with your ex and tell her that from now on you will not talk to her husband regarding your kids. She is the mother and you are the father. If she doesn't comply tell her that you will take her back to court and get joint custody where you will have the kids 50/50 so she will not get child support anymore. I bet you anything she will change her tune really fast getting him to butt out. Also, tell him that these are not his kids and you will not discuss any issues regarding them with him. I really feel for you here but if it were me I would go for the 50/50 or even full custody if this continues.

Answer 6

This issue is between you and your ex wife. Communication should be made through her, rather than her new hubby. I'd write her a letter or call her and tell her what's up. He's making this harder on you and your kids. If he's rude, hang up on him or walk away. He has no place to get you going or to criticize your parenting skills, as you have no place to criticize their way of parenting, unless it is destructive behavior. Have you tried talking to your ex about this issue? If so, what happened?

Answer 7

Talk to her, he has no right to tell you what to do about your children, Id say, document your conversations and interactions with him so you have evidence of his intervention when you sew for full custody. If shes not a good enough mother to do whats right for her children (not let another man come between her children and their father) then maybe she isnt a good enough parent.

Answer 8

In this case I would contact an attorney and ask for a possible third party to be appointed as a mediator(ex in law?) if you and your wife have a problem communicating.

Answer 9

Time to pound that sucka in the nose . Hate to say this but sometimes a man has got to do what a man has got to do .I think your going to have to fight fire with fire .I know allot of woman in here are going to give me thumbs down and that's because they really don't understand a mans world and what its like to be a man but you need to stand up to the bully like George Mcfly did on the movie back to the future . Even if you don't get the best of him hes going to think twice about trying to control you and your kids . If i was there i would do it for you I hate bully's

Answer 10

Tell him to shut the hell up, you have more respect for the skunks that crawl out of the gutters at night than you will ever have for him. Then look at him like he's something digusting on the bottom of your shoe.